Did I over react?

I went on a date, it was going rather well, our conversation was flowing naturally and wasn't forced. I was enjoying my time with her. But as our date grew to an end she began mimicking my accent and speech word for word. Which I took as a way of mockery so I just got up and walked away from the date without an explanation. Albeit I am British and she is American so that might have been a factor. But I am still not sure if I over reacted and should reach out to her and apologise?

Reply 1

Ciel.

21

Original post

by Anonymous

I went on a date, it was going rather well, our conversation was flowing naturally and wasn't forced. I was enjoying my time with her. But as our date grew to an end she began mimicking my accent and speech word for word. Which I took as a way of mockery so I just got up and walked away from the date without an explanation. Albeit I am British and she is American so that might have been a factor. But I am still not sure if I over reacted and should reach out to her and apologise?

lol, imagine being so fragile and insecure. please tell me you're a girl, cause a guy running away like a little girl without at least confronting her is embarrassing. she dodged a bullet tbh... maybe she wasn't even mocking you. some people do this kind of thing without even realizing (people with a lot of empathy, sometimes people with autistic traits). it's called the chameleon effect or mirroring.

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

20

What she was doing was what's called a "**** test". It's the sort of thing that women throw out. Often without realising that they're doing it. Or without realising how rude and socially uncalibrated they're being.

These tests are easy to pass.
There's 3 ways to pass them.
Ignore and carry on.
Agree and exaggerate. Preferably in a funny way that makes what she said or did seem absurd.
Misinterpret. The default misinterpretation being one where you take what she said or did as a sexual compliment or sexual flirtation on her part.

I think you burnt your bridges with this one. If you do reach out to her, you could reach out in a way where you pretend you didn't abruptly leave her.
If she brings up the subject you could say "Yeah, we ought to sit down and have a big, positive, productive talk about that."

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

I went on a date, it was going rather well, our conversation was flowing naturally and wasn't forced. I was enjoying my time with her. But as our date grew to an end she began mimicking my accent and speech word for word. Which I took as a way of mockery so I just got up and walked away from the date without an explanation. Albeit I am British and she is American so that might have been a factor. But I am still not sure if I over reacted and should reach out to her and apologise?

If u felt like she was mocking u then I think it would been better to at least let her know how you felt and if she didn’t stop then it then it’s disrespectful.

You could still text her and let her know how you felt, it’s important to communicate since you 2 don’t know each other like that. It could just be apart of her personality for all we know

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by Anonymous

If u felt like she was mocking u then I think it would been better to at least let her know how you felt and if she didn’t stop then it then it’s disrespectful.
You could still text her and let her know how you felt, it’s important to communicate since you 2 don’t know each other like that. It could just be apart of her personality for all we know

she did compliment my accent at the start. And even said that she has a weird and dark sense of humour prior to our date. So I should have taken that into consideration. I have just never experienced this type of mockery before. Especially on a date. I'll call and explain why I walked away.

Reply 5

Zarek

21

Well first dates are about seeing if you hit it off with a person with no wrong notes. Perhaps she was trying to be amusing rather than to mock, but it does feel insensitive for a first date. Walking away without explanation is quite dramatic also if it had being going ok up till then, but if that is how it madeyou feel.. I would leave it unless you think it’s worth another try

Reply 6

Dunnig Kruger

20

Original post

by Anonymous

she did compliment my accent at the start. And even said that she has a weird and dark sense of humour prior to our date. So I should have taken that into consideration. I have just never experienced this type of mockery before. Especially on a date. I'll call and explain why I walked away.

It's better to not explain why you walked away over a phone call.
Doing so face to face if she brings the subject up is OK.

You have more chance of meeting her again if she has the curiosity hook of wondering what you'll tell how and how you'll tell her about you leaving.

You don't give away the plot to the next TV program in a series in the trailer. You make the viewers see the whole episode to reveal what happens.

If you call her and have a positive enthusiastic brief conversation with her where you don't bring up the subject of you leaving, you will leave her wondering why you didn't mention it. If she brings up the subject and you tell her that you need to sit down with her and have a big conversation with her, she will wonder why you brushed her question off and what you will say.
You want her to be thinking about you. You don't want to give her closure on this matter over a phone call. It's better to discuss it and move on over a date.

That's assuming you want to see her again. If you don't, don't bother calling her. Use your time and mental energy on something more productive.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

she did compliment my accent at the start. And even said that she has a weird and dark sense of humour prior to our date. So I should have taken that into consideration. I have just never experienced this type of mockery before. Especially on a date. I'll call and explain why I walked away.

Ya do that, tbf I think it’s jst her personality cuz as a girl me and my friends be making fun of our own accents and slip ups. Since shes American, she probably found the British accent amusing lol

Did I over react?

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