Struggling to Make Friends at Uni — Is This Normal?
Reply 1
Thanks for reaching out. The first thing I'd say is please don't worry - there are so many new students out there in the same boat as you and its perfectly normal for things to be slow in the first year, especially if you're more of an introvert. This is completely normal.
If you haven't already, why don't you try and join a society? It could be anything you're vaguely interested in! This is always a good way to meet people from different courses with a similar interest to you and a good way to get some socialising time into your calendar.
Have you tried working part-time as a student ambassador? Not only is the work well-paid, flexible and a lot of fun, I met so many other students from different courses and year groups from this and it was one of the best parts of my degree!
Does your course involve any group work? If so, then why not suggest meeting for a meal or a celebration after you've all submitted a group project?
Do you live in halls? If so, then why not suggest a group games or film night with homemade pizza? If not, then is there anyone in your lectures who you usually sit with who might want to join you for a study session or coffee after a lecture?
I hope some of this helps - these things do take time and many people find they don't meet their true friends until second/third year after everyone has settled into their course and routine. Things will work out!
All the best - please let us know if you have any more questions 🙂
Holly
University of Bath
Reply 2
Hi @OliverOoo ,
I am sorry that you have been feeling like this - it can be tough at Uni when you don't make friends straight away, or find it hard to meet 'your people'. I know how you feel, and it's easy to say but honestly try not to worry too much as it will happen! You will meet people and sometimes it can take time but you will find people that you click with. Here are some ways that I have made friends or met people just in case you haven't tried any of these and want to!
•
Join a society. I know lots of people say this but they are really good ways of meeting people that you otherwise may not meet. Have a look and see what your uni offers and if there are any that you like the sound of as they are great ways of meeting people. The socials are fun too and lots of people will join in their second year so don't worry about being in your second year in September and joining!
•
You could also have a look and see if there are any local clubs or groups that you could join. There are sometimes sports teams or other groups which may be local to your uni so it is worth having a look just in case. I know it won't be people from your Uni that you will be meeting, but it's a good way of widening your circle of friends in the local area!
•
Have a look on social media and see if you can meet anyone this way. There will quite often be groups on social media where you can meet people on your course or just your uni in general so it is worth having a look on Facebook and seeing if you can meet anyone this way.
•
See if your student union puts any events on. The SU at your uni may put different events on where you can meet new people which may be worth going to! Have a look and see if your uni does anything like this.
•
See if anyone on your course wants to do anything after Uni. They may want to go to the library, for a coffee or lunch after Uni. It's worth asking as they may not have thought to ask you, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't want to!
I hope some of this helps and you find some people you gel with soon,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Reply 3
I am sorry that you have been feeling like this - it can be tough at Uni when you don't make friends straight away, or find it hard to meet 'your people'. I know how you feel, and it's easy to say but honestly try not to worry too much as it will happen! You will meet people and sometimes it can take time but you will find people that you click with. Here are some ways that I have made friends or met people just in case you haven't tried any of these and want to!
•
Join a society. I know lots of people say this but they are really good ways of meeting people that you otherwise may not meet. Have a look and see what your uni offers and if there are any that you like the sound of as they are great ways of meeting people. The socials are fun too and lots of people will join in their second year so don't worry about being in your second year in September and joining!
•
You could also have a look and see if there are any local clubs or groups that you could join. There are sometimes sports teams or other groups which may be local to your uni so it is worth having a look just in case. I know it won't be people from your Uni that you will be meeting, but it's a good way of widening your circle of friends in the local area!
•
Have a look on social media and see if you can meet anyone this way. There will quite often be groups on social media where you can meet people on your course or just your uni in general so it is worth having a look on Facebook and seeing if you can meet anyone this way.
•
See if your student union puts any events on. The SU at your uni may put different events on where you can meet new people which may be worth going to! Have a look and see if your uni does anything like this.
•
See if anyone on your course wants to do anything after Uni. They may want to go to the library, for a coffee or lunch after Uni. It's worth asking as they may not have thought to ask you, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't want to!
I hope some of this helps and you find some people you gel with soon,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
It’s so reassuring to hear I’m not the only one who’s felt this way, and your message honestly made me feel a bit more hopeful. I think I’ve been overthinking it and expecting too much too fast.
I hadn’t thought of checking local clubs outside of uni — that’s such a good idea! And I’m going to have another look at societies before the end of the term (I kind of brushed them off before).
Thanks for taking the time to write all this – it genuinely helped!
Reply 4
You're definitely not alone in feeling this way – honestly, it’s something a lot more people go through than they let on. When I started uni, I thought making friends would just happen, but it took longer than I expected too. It can seem like everyone already has their group, but in reality, a lot of people are still figuring things out just like you.
As already said, one thing that really helped me was joining smaller societies or interest-based groups – it’s easier to connect with people when you see them regularly in a low-pressure setting. And sometimes, just chatting to someone next to you in a lecture or seminar can lead to a good connection.
Happy to chat more if you want!
Take care,
Finlay
Second Year Film and Broadcast Production Student
Reply 5
Hey there,
My name is Siobhan and I’m a third-year student at the University of Central Lancashire. I want to start by saying that you are definitely not the only one who is feeling like this right now and I completely get the pressures to get have everything in uni sorted out within the first couple of months. However, I honestly didn't find some of my closest friends until 2nd and 3rd year so try not to panic! Here are some things that may help you meet some people while at uni
Societies: This is a great way to meet people who have something in common with them, which takes the awkwardness away from conversation starters. There are loads of different societies that you can join, which you should be able to find on your uni SU page. The best thing about it is that you don’t have to commit to it if you don’t want to and you can join several different ones!
Social media: You can join different groups and pages on social media such as Facebook and insta. Different uni’s typically have groups for the different schools and through this you can meet people with similar interests and courses to you.
Group work: If you have group work for uni, this can be a really helpful way to learn about people on your course and build relationships. It can be awkward at first, but it really throws you in the deep end and helps you get out there a bit more.
Uni events: Keep an eye on your uni page to see if there are any events you may like such as pub quizzes or food markets, which can be a really good way for meeting new people 😊
It might take time but that is completely normal and okay! Try and be kind and patient to yourself, as it is a new change 😊
Hope this has helped at all. Please let me know of you have any more questions.
Siobhan (Student Ambassador for the University of Central Lancashire)
Reply 6
Hi @OliverOoo
Everyone's advice so far is a great way to reach out to find friends.
I wanted to chip in with some reassurance that it's okay to have not found your people at uni just yet. I made some friends in the first few weeks of uni who I still meet now in my final year. But there are others who I now just say hi to around campus too. My closest friend at uni I didn't actually meet until the final couple of weeks of second year when we booked a flat together and I'm still making friends now in my final year.
Simply put, try not to compare your friendship situation with other students, and also try not to worry if you feel you're not quite there yet with your friendships, as some of the best are yet to come.
All the best. 🙂
Emily
Student Rep at BCU
Reply 7
Everyone around you could be thinking the same thing....just needs one of you to reach out.
Next time you're in a lecture....ask any 'single' person ' "d'ya fancy grabbing discussing that lecture over a coffee?"
Try it a few times, it gets easier with practice, and see what happens 😉
Good luck x
Reply 8
Hi there!
It's completely normal to feel this way. Actually, many students go through the same experience in their first year. Making friends at university can take time, and that's okay. Here are some things I personally did to connect with people in my first year:
1.
Join societies or clubs that interest you. You'll naturally meet people who share your hobbies
2.
Study groups can be a great way to meet course mates while being productive
3.
Try sitting next to different people in lectures and starting casual conversations
Take care,
Ilya,
Cyber Security student at DMU
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