Dealing With Rejection.

Basically I felt really f*cking terrible.This is me venting for those in a similar situation so you don't have to feel alone.
I got rejected from my 2 main uni choices (and an insurance) for physics, I was lucky my 2 remaining backup choices gave me offers. But people (especially teachers) put high expectations on me. I had the highest predicted grades in school (3A*s and an A), was selected for research work experience programmes, placed high in physics comps, selected for the Isaac Physics SPC Residential, read books "outside the curriculum", had my own physics blog etc... - but I only did because I loved physics so much. It's one of the only things I have going for me.
I poured everything into my application - what I loved about physics and how I learnt about it from all my experiences. My teachers backed me up. They encouraged me to apply to unis such as Oxford and UCL. But seemingly best of all they told me they expected great things from me.

Then you send it off, and a rejection comes back. Saying "unfortunately we couldn't offer you a place". It's okay at first, but then another comes around and your confidence takes a small blow, studying for exams becomes a little tough right after. Then a third rejection from an insurance (that essentially tells you "We're sorry but you weren't as good as 80% of our applicants.") comes around. Confidence plummets, your passion suffocates and revising becomes unbearable.

I felt cheated, but I wasn't sure by what though. "Probably me.", "I shouldn't go into physics.", "I should give up".
I was completely ignoring my achievements, especially my privilege. I was given two offers from solid universities, I can still study something I really really enjoy with other people who really really enjoy it. Just not where I was expected/expecting. Those stupidly high expectations made me blind, ungrateful and sad - the three things that ruin passion. Coming to that conclusion made me realise I am lucky, some people missed out. To those that have, don't stop trying, take a year of work, reapply another time if you can. Those like me, I hope this helps you feel better about your confidence. Maybe you set your own high expectations, or it was your loved ones or teachers. Don't forget they're just expectations. Don't linger on "Why did they get in, but not me. What makes me worse than everyone else in the race.". You rarely get a helpful answer. From now, work with what you've achieved and don't let rejection invalidate that. You still worked hard for it, just don't stop now!!!

Reply 1

ysl060804

Hey! I am so sorry to hear that. But can I tell you something? I was also one of the toppers in my school and all my teachers praised me as a very hard working student and smart. Becuase of that I think I was a bit arrogant on my studying for my exam which I kind of didnt get what I wanted it but I was in the similar situation as you! I absolutely got NO offers from any unis not even a backup so I declined it and applied for UCAS extra for UCL and luckily I received an offer. Yes, UCL is fantastic unvieristy but my dream school was Imperial and I did everythign to get an offer whcih I didnt at the end of the day. I was really really depressed and felt like my whole hard word and dedication just thrown to the trash bin. And the worst case is that on the result day my grade was lower than the offer grade i got from Extra choice and I had to take a gap year. All friends left to unis and I was quite lost since I have thought I always worked harder than them but why am i here still studying and dont have any destination. BUT LISTEN I WAS LITERALLY ON THE EDGE ON MY LIFE BUT YOU HAVE ENOUGH PASSION!!! I think it might be a little problem with your personal statment ebcause during my gap year I applied to imperial AGAIN and FINALLY RECEIVED AN OFFER. I have changed a lot of thing in my personal statment and how to write it. Of course univeirsty care about your passion but your personal statment is really the only way to sell your whole skill not just about your passion. Worst case senario you can take a gap year. BUT the MOST important thing you need then is the EXCELLENT achieved grade if you are aiming for top unis. If you mess up with your a level and try to retake again in your gap year that could make you even more busier (and its SO fkin expensive) which you could do it but i dont recommend it. And i also think one of the reason why i messed with my results was because I was just too focued about stressing out. JUST FOCUS ON YOUR EXAM FOR NOW PLEASEE TRUST ME THAT WILL SAVE YOUR ASS if you do gap year.

Reply 2

tyutyu

Original post

by #########

Basically I felt really f*cking terrible.
But I also don't want to sound like a prick. This is me venting for those in a similar situation so you don't have to feel alone.
I got rejected from my 2 main uni choices (and an insurance) for physics, I was lucky my 2 remaining backup choices gave me offers. But people (especially teachers) put high expectations on me. I had the highest predicted grades in school (3A*s and an A), was selected for research work experience programmes, placed high in physics comps, selected for the Isaac Physics SPC Residential, read books "outside the curriculum", had my own physics blog etc... - but I only did because I loved physics so much. It's one of the only things I have going for me.
I poured everything into my application - what I loved about physics and how I learnt about it from all my experiences. My teachers backed me up. They encouraged me to apply to unis such as Oxford and UCL. But seemingly best of all they told me they expected great things from me.
Then you send it off, and a rejection comes back. Saying "unfortunately we couldn't offer you a place". It's okay at first, but then another comes around and your confidence takes a small blow, studying for exams becomes a little tough right after. Then a third rejection from an insurance (that essentially tells you "We're sorry but you weren't as good as 80% of our applicants.") comes around. Confidence plummets, your passion suffocates and revising becomes unbearable.
I felt cheated, but I wasn't sure by what though. "Probably me.", "I shouldn't go into physics.", "I should give up".
I was completely ignoring my achievements, especially my privilege. I was given two offers from solid universities, I can still study something I really really enjoy with other people who really really enjoy it. Just not where I was expected/expecting. Those stupidly high expectations made me blind, ungrateful and sad - the three things that ruin passion. Coming to that conclusion made me realise I am lucky, some people missed out. To those that have, don't stop trying, take a year of work, reapply another time if you can. Those like me, I hope this helps you feel better about your confidence. Maybe you set your own high expectations, or it was your loved ones or teachers. Don't forget they're just expectations. Don't linger on "Why did they get in, but not me. What makes me worse than everyone else in the race.". You rarely get a helpful answer. From now, work with what you've achieved and don't let rejection invalidate that. You still worked hard for it, just don't stop now!!!

I guess you should try as hard as you can in whatever school,uni or college you wish to get into

Reply 3

totallyfine

To be fair, all these years later, I actually can't remember what my first choice was. I went to my back up and made life long friends and loved the course. I don't have regrets because it led me down this path.

I am certain that I would have made life long friends and had a fabulous experience at other institutions. But not this life.

All I can say is focus on what you really will enjoy and embrace where you go. The ones you missed out on are great but so are the others and it will be what you make it.