boyfriend broke up with me after a huge fight last night

Sorry to hear this. Let the dust settle a while. But to be honest domestic violence isn’t acceptable and perhaps it’s now crossed a line and you’re be better off apart. Have you some friends or family you can turn to for support?

i hope that girl you're so obsessed with never actually marries you.

You know that when I said that’s peak as in that’s not nice

Im really sorry whsts happened. What did he mean by get your life together if you don't mind saying?

get a job/source of income, get my own place, stop being insane, who tf knows what's going through his head. like any of that's actually possible, haha. that ******* knows he's leaving me with no way out

Sorry to hear, sort of, but two things jump out that you won't thank me for.
"it's not domestic violence, he just has a short temper..." Do you even read what you write sometimes?
"I just want to make my own choices." You want to have no responsibilities or hard choices to make - you have a definite reluctance over the years to make any hard choices for yourself to actually change anything or gain any independence, nothing will change until you do and you'll still be here in 1, 2, 3 years complaining about the non domestic violence injuries the guy inflicts, assuming the next blow to the head isn't fatal obv.

because it isn’t. i’m tired of people pretending that their own relationships are so perfect and nothing ever happens, and that during fights their partners always just put their tail between their legs and walk away no matter how hard you push them. like yeah, sure. anyway, maybe there’s some truth in what he’s saying. idk why, but something about me does seem to push people to their limit sometimes. it was like that with my father too, not to mention my previous boyfriends.
you do have a point about me not being able to make any real change in my life tho. when my mood is this bad (and it's like that 80-90% of the time id say) then even just daily life, just surviving, is so exhausting and stressful to me that i have zero energy to even entertain the idea of making any real change in my life. i don’t think i can do it. the mere thought of having to leave this house - soon - fills me with so much anxiety i can’t think straight. it doesn’t feel real. i can’t imagine this happening.
i clearly won't be complaining about it in a year, or two tho... things are different this time.

Given that the current arrangement has done neither of you any favours for years, it’s a positive step. Maybe it’ll be the kick you need to move to France and do the OF content you were mulling over a while back.
Sympathies to the neighbours who presumably just wanted some peace and quiet and had to call the police on multiple occasions given the dysfunction they witnessed. Just sad stuff really.

get a job/source of income, get my own place, stop being insane, who tf knows what's going through his head. like any of that's actually possible, haha. that ******* knows he's leaving me with no way out

It is. I'm not pretending that everyone else is hunky dory lovey but.... yeah a lot of people simply wouldn't put up with 1% of this. I think you've kind of adapted to feeling this is normal rather than terrible.
I'M short tempered, I've fell out with 2 people this week alone and over the years inflicted quite horrible violence on people. But I love my partner, if I ever snap or raise my voice I almost immediately apologise even if I had reason to be angry, because her crying is a dagger to my heart. If she raised a hand to me It would be over, If I raised a hand to her or another partner I'd likely end myself in shame and hatred. A relationship where you get your head near cracked open for being cheeky is...appalling.

You need a support, not only a source of income and a place to live.
Stop being insane would take more than a few months. I doubt staying with him would be really good for you. I already said that a few times.
I'm really sorry you are going through all this.
Do you have sort of safe house for young adults in an unstable mental situation? It is not like a mental clinic but more sort of a motel to stay in but with a mental support team. We have a sort of place like that. They give some support but most of all they help you stand on your feet... like a place to work at (they have connections with places that do not require a constant attendance and places that won't fire you if you are in a bad mood. There is a whole system for people in need of mental support.
I wish I could help more.
🫂

It's definitely domestic violence even if you won't acknowledge it.
I'm sorry about the break up. It doesn't sound as though it was the healthiest relationship but it still must be upsetting, particularly by how horribly it ended.
You do need a fresh start really though, and ultimately that was never going to happen whilst you were still with him.