A* ( I do wjec) english language narrative example?

Please could someone mark this or give feedback. I’m pulling my hair out with English Language. The grade boundaries are ridiculous for an A*
Describe a time you felt disappointed
Liquid sunlight seeped through my window, drenching out any disbelief of discomfort for the day ahead. I got up out of my bed only through my unwavering hope. He would be there. He had to be there. Things could be different this time.
A surge of exhilaration hit me like the treacherous waves crashing on the periphery of my small town. I dragged myself down the stairs to the kitchen. Forcing breakfast down against wild anticipation, my hope grew bigger and bigger. I looked outside, enthralled by the morning painting; a kaleidoscope of scarlet, magenta and fiery orange colliding, whispering a promise of hope to me.
I brushed my hair with meticulous care, trying to contain the wild birds nest into a presentable signification of my success. My success; without him. Without his help, his unnecessary money to compensate his absences throughout the years. I wondered if he would even recognise me- a gregarious girl of twenty, apathetic to holding grudges. I would look to the future with a man who betrayed me in my past.
“Goodnight my darling, sleep well.” A man whispered lovingly to his daughter. She looked up at him with such admiration, such care, such love- but it wasn’t enough. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
But I never did.
Time trundled away selfishly; ..nine o’clock…ten o’clock…eleven o’clock.
Realisation was slow on my conscious once more. Who knows why: this has happened more times than it hasn’t.
In an attempt to mollify myself, I simply believed it wasn’t true; he’s such in traffic or he’s had a flat tire or he’s been in a fatal car accident. I’d rather that than the reality and gravity of the situation- he simply doesn’t care. He never will.
The sunlight seemed cancerous now, abusing the greenery with its malicious glare. Uncaring, unwavering in its cruelty. Just like dad.