GCSE English Language: Paper 2, Question 5
13
Can someone please have a look at this and give me some feedback please? Thanks!
Minister of Education
Department for Education
Bucky Road
London
LO1 5KL
Dear Sir/Madam,
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I am writing to you as a pupil who continues to see, live and experience the outdated education system. It is believed now more than ever that the teenage brain is very different, distinct and disparate in comparison to the brain of an adult. If the education system was reformed, there is scientific evidence that pupils will experience overwhelming benefits.
Firstly, the adjustment of school times can significantly impact the mental, physical and emotional wellbeing of the teenagers in today's society. Recent research from the child psychology department of Oxford University has proven through numerous experiments and surveys that shifting school hours by 3-4 hours can have a positive impact such as increasing the average GCSE scores by more than 2 grades. Would you not want pupils thriving more because of a couple hours of extra sleep? Oxford also conducted a study of 30 teens aged 16, in which 90% of the study felt most motivated and engaged after 10am. 90% of the teens reported feeling most motivated and engaged after 10am. So, why are we forced to feeling us based on an outdated system? Many pupils struggle with this, but giving more lenient start times can help improve behaviour, learning, performance and prepare them for adult life. Doctors and other medical professionals do not work typical hours, why should we, as pupils and teens, follow the same principle? Educating generations outside of typical hours would massively prepare the future generations for their careers and roles in society as well.
Secondly, when the teenage brain receives enough rest, teenagers are more likely to socialise more with others and fully engage in our surroundings rather than be consumed into our phones and other technologies. Whilst we think our phones and social connections are not a distraction from learning, it is a vital part of growing and shaping the future generation into connected individuals. Dr. Allen, a world leading psychologist, conducted an experiment using 200 students aged 16 to see how much pupils that wake up at 6am socialise in comparison to those who wake up at 10am: 73% of the pupils recorded feeling more energised when they woke up at 10am which allowed them to crave oxytocin known as the "love" hormone when you socialise with others. These hormones make for a more balanced and contented, happy nation. Being able to communicate, empathise and collaborate are life skills. Teenagers cannot be taught through a textbook.
Thirdly, the education system still follows the same concepts my parents, my grandparents, and even my great-grandparents had when they were teens. Textbooks. When a study was conducted at Philips psychology, where a group of 20 teens per psychology study, one new topic is using an old, verbose and groggy textbook in comparison to colourful, interactive and interesting flashcards, 83% of the pupils achieved higher results when using flashcards. Many reported dopamine being released when using the flashcards in comparison to cortisol being released when the textbooks were used. This affect was accompanied with cold sweats, a high pulse as well as severe unmotivation. The education system must adapt as the future generations does too. We can't live in the past.
I hope the education system can learn to adapt with the future generations we must not live in the past.
Yours Faithfully,
Laiba
Minister of Education
Department for Education
Bucky Road
London
LO1 5KL
Millands Secondary & Upper Sixth Form
Glasgow
GL3 YH1
09/05/2023
Glasgow
GL3 YH1
09/05/2023
The Urgent Need For Educational Reformation
Dear Sir/Madam,
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I am writing to you as a pupil who continues to see, live and experience the outdated education system. It is believed now more than ever that the teenage brain is very different, distinct and disparate in comparison to the brain of an adult. If the education system was reformed, there is scientific evidence that pupils will experience overwhelming benefits.
Firstly, the adjustment of school times can significantly impact the mental, physical and emotional wellbeing of the teenagers in today's society. Recent research from the child psychology department of Oxford University has proven through numerous experiments and surveys that shifting school hours by 3-4 hours can have a positive impact such as increasing the average GCSE scores by more than 2 grades. Would you not want pupils thriving more because of a couple hours of extra sleep? Oxford also conducted a study of 30 teens aged 16, in which 90% of the study felt most motivated and engaged after 10am. 90% of the teens reported feeling most motivated and engaged after 10am. So, why are we forced to feeling us based on an outdated system? Many pupils struggle with this, but giving more lenient start times can help improve behaviour, learning, performance and prepare them for adult life. Doctors and other medical professionals do not work typical hours, why should we, as pupils and teens, follow the same principle? Educating generations outside of typical hours would massively prepare the future generations for their careers and roles in society as well.
Secondly, when the teenage brain receives enough rest, teenagers are more likely to socialise more with others and fully engage in our surroundings rather than be consumed into our phones and other technologies. Whilst we think our phones and social connections are not a distraction from learning, it is a vital part of growing and shaping the future generation into connected individuals. Dr. Allen, a world leading psychologist, conducted an experiment using 200 students aged 16 to see how much pupils that wake up at 6am socialise in comparison to those who wake up at 10am: 73% of the pupils recorded feeling more energised when they woke up at 10am which allowed them to crave oxytocin known as the "love" hormone when you socialise with others. These hormones make for a more balanced and contented, happy nation. Being able to communicate, empathise and collaborate are life skills. Teenagers cannot be taught through a textbook.
Thirdly, the education system still follows the same concepts my parents, my grandparents, and even my great-grandparents had when they were teens. Textbooks. When a study was conducted at Philips psychology, where a group of 20 teens per psychology study, one new topic is using an old, verbose and groggy textbook in comparison to colourful, interactive and interesting flashcards, 83% of the pupils achieved higher results when using flashcards. Many reported dopamine being released when using the flashcards in comparison to cortisol being released when the textbooks were used. This affect was accompanied with cold sweats, a high pulse as well as severe unmotivation. The education system must adapt as the future generations does too. We can't live in the past.
I hope the education system can learn to adapt with the future generations we must not live in the past.
Yours Faithfully,
Laiba
(edited 9 months ago)
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