he broke up with me :(

i was actually gonna post about my bf yesterday, asking about if we should stay together. i guess he made that decision for me because he broke up with me yesterday haha..... i cried or whatever but i'm MID-EXAM SEASON, I'M DOING MY EXAMS FOR UNI and i am going through it.
he wrote me this entire message about how much he loves me for our anniversary thing, just a few days ago, so i guess it was kinda random.
the thing is though, is that he said we can stay friends, so we broke up yesterday but we've been texting today. obviously it's not the same, it's a bit awkward but i am still so, so in love with him and it feels like im being stabbed everytime i talk to him. i can't say i love you, or call him petnames or anything, so talking like regular friends feels so weird.
he said he's thinking of whether we should get back together, idk what that means lol, but i just really miss him. i know it hasn't been that long at all but we would call most mornings and everything. he told me to wait for him, to think about whether we should get back together. i miss him so much i'll probably just do that. but what am i meant to do now?? do i block him? i feel like it would be weird if he moved on, like imagine you're dating someone who's still friends with their ex who still has feelings for the person you're dating. idk. he was my first bf so idk what you're meant to do. i dont wanna block him out of nowhere though but i don't think most people stay friends when they break up.... right?

Reply 1

tennisgoddess

13

i think you should take a break from him unless he is actually serious about possibly getting back together

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by tennisgoddess

i think you should take a break from him unless he is actually serious about possibly getting back together

i know you..... wasn't your username based off of your gf because she's really good at tennis??

Reply 3

anosmianAcrimony

20

Really sorry to hear it. I suggest you let your feelings guide you in this. If you're comfortable being friends with him and you feel like you'll enjoy being around him more than it'll cause you pain, then go ahead. Otherwise, if it just hurts a whole lot, it's completely reasonable to ask him not to talk to you anymore and block him if need be. It'll definitely make the process of getting over him quicker and easier if you do.

(edited 8 months ago)

Reply 4

tennisgoddess

13

Original post

by Anonymous

i know you..... wasn't your username based off of your gf because she's really good at tennis??

yes

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by anosmianAcrimony

Really sorry to hear it. I suggest you let your feelings guide you in this. If you're comfortable being friends with him and you feel like you'll enjoy being around him more than it'll cause you pain, then go ahead. Otherwise, if it just hurts a whole lot, it's completely reasonable to ask him not to talk to you anymore and block him if need be. It'll definitely make the process of getting over him quicker and easier if you do.

he said he likes me again and asked if we could get back together and i am DOWN BAD so i said sure 😓

Reply 6

Crazy Jamie

19

Original post

by Anonymous

he said he likes me again and asked if we could get back together and i am DOWN BAD so i said sure 😓

It is not acceptable for him to break up with you and then to say that he wants to get back together with you after three or four days. Are the reasons why he broke up with you suddenly fixed in the space of a few days? I seriously doubt it. The whole breaking up with you but saying that you can stay friends, continuing to message you and telling you to wait for him is incredibly disrespectful to your feelings and emotions. He needs to figure out what he actually wants, and in the mean time he should show at least some awareness of the effect that all of this is having on you. Especially in the middle of exam season.

I entirely understand the heartache when your first serious boyfriend breaks up with you. It's legitimately really tough. But you deserve to be treated better than this. You will know better than any of us how things are, how everything feels and to what extent there is lingering awkwardness and other issues. But I can't imagine that this situation is all sunshine and rainbows again. I expect there is, at the very least, a lot of lingering anxiety as to whether this is going to stick. This is quite typical of university relationships, but that doesn't mean that it's something you should put up with.

If I were you I would tell him that you need time and space to get your exams out of the way, and to figure out where this relationship with him is going and whether it's something that you want. Tell him you're not going to contact him for a week, two weeks or until your exams are over, and stick to that. I really think you need that time and space both to focus on your exams, and give yourself time to adjust to him leaving and coming back to you like a yo yo. Once you've finished your exams (or after whatever time period you set), you'll have a better idea what you want, and you can tell him. If he's gone off and found another girlfriend, he obviously isn't right for you. But if he hasn't, you can then decide what to do on your own terms, and not be at the whim of someone who doesn't know if he's coming or going. You can feel free to do something different, but don't make the mistake of staying with him just because you don't want to lose him or fear being single. Those are not good reasons to stay in a relationship. I think you need space.

Reply 7

http.stillluvava

6

Original post

by Anonymous

i was actually gonna post about my bf yesterday, asking about if we should stay together. i guess he made that decision for me because he broke up with me yesterday haha..... i cried or whatever but i'm MID-EXAM SEASON, I'M DOING MY EXAMS FOR UNI and i am going through it.
he wrote me this entire message about how much he loves me for our anniversary thing, just a few days ago, so i guess it was kinda random.
the thing is though, is that he said we can stay friends, so we broke up yesterday but we've been texting today. obviously it's not the same, it's a bit awkward but i am still so, so in love with him and it feels like im being stabbed everytime i talk to him. i can't say i love you, or call him petnames or anything, so talking like regular friends feels so weird.
he said he's thinking of whether we should get back together, idk what that means lol, but i just really miss him. i know it hasn't been that long at all but we would call most mornings and everything. he told me to wait for him, to think about whether we should get back together. i miss him so much i'll probably just do that. but what am i meant to do now?? do i block him? i feel like it would be weird if he moved on, like imagine you're dating someone who's still friends with their ex who still has feelings for the person you're dating. idk. he was my first bf so idk what you're meant to do. i dont wanna block him out of nowhere though but i don't think most people stay friends when they break up.... right?

I think no contact it’s best there is no promise of healing unless you stop The thing thats hurting you Ik it hurts I’m still not over mine and it’s been 9 months but it would have taken longer if I still decided to talk to him because there would always be that tiny thing in my mind saying that I hav a chance and he didn’t feel that way

he broke up with me :(

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