Blush, Bills & Boundaries - A self-care and wellness blog
I actually got ChatGPT to come up with the blog title because it's 10:30pm and my brain is dead and heart's low-key racing because my b!tch manager will be in tomorrow and work is like 90% pain and 10% pay. Not a ratio I am happy about.
Hi, I am Quack. I am joking. Call me literally whatever you want. I used to blog on here as a student and then stopped. I graduated last year and I am working in a related industry but haven't yet landed the job I need. This is where the introductions stop though because I am not anticipating an audience here, simply somewhere to come and rant and for me to look back on in a couple of months to see if I kept my word.
I thought I would document the next couple of months (maybe until September). I have a pretty important event coming up in August and I plan on quitting my job and backpacking in October this year so there is a lot to do in preparation for all of that.
Hi, I am Quack. I am joking. Call me literally whatever you want. I used to blog on here as a student and then stopped. I graduated last year and I am working in a related industry but haven't yet landed the job I need. This is where the introductions stop though because I am not anticipating an audience here, simply somewhere to come and rant and for me to look back on in a couple of months to see if I kept my word.
I thought I would document the next couple of months (maybe until September). I have a pretty important event coming up in August and I plan on quitting my job and backpacking in October this year so there is a lot to do in preparation for all of that.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
It's not letting me edit. I am not sure why. This site better not glitch. I swear I don't have the patience for that. I considered blogging on reddit but the layout isn't really blog-friendly and Quora I don't even want to think about. Anyway, I will carry on posting. Maybe my posts need to be approved. OH WELL.
The whole vibe for this is going to focus on wellness and self-care. Skincare, fitness, nutrition, trying out new hobbies, running (I haven't ran in a couple of weeks because I got an ear piercing and it needed time to heal), reading, learning more about personal finance. The occasional pity party and some ranting about my job.
The whole vibe for this is going to focus on wellness and self-care. Skincare, fitness, nutrition, trying out new hobbies, running (I haven't ran in a couple of weeks because I got an ear piercing and it needed time to heal), reading, learning more about personal finance. The occasional pity party and some ranting about my job.
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 2
I should go to bed. I am not even sleepy. Ugh. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. It's not the work. It's my manager. She's in the office tomorrow. She has the most unpleasant manner ever. She's rude. Just...very abrupt and a bit of a b!tch to everyone to be honest. No manners whatsoever. Maybe I will start looking for work elsewhere. The rest of the team is just so odd too. I don't like any of them. Just very uncomfortable in the team. There's a couple of people outside of the team that seem pleasant enough. My colleagues from previous job are also in the same building so I can always see my ex office bestie more often. I will be fine. I just have to think of this as purely a temporary solution. I put in the hours for money. What if I get sacked? What the ****. You know what I need is a chat with my friends who have been in the industry. And to post about it on reddit and get some advice. My friend who I consider a bit of a mentor just recently got married and it seems wrong to spam him with work issues. I low-key feel a bit trapped but I think I am also being dramatic. I will reach out to my friends for some advice and see how that goes. I will also channel my inner b!tch if I need to.
It was my friend's bridal shower on Saturday and I had to get up at 6am to make it to the venue in London on time. So today I woke up late and pretty much did nothing all day. Tomorrow after work I need to be back in the gym and have a solid session because I have been slacking. Anyway, that's it for now. I may also give up on this blog but it seems like a good idea for now.
It was my friend's bridal shower on Saturday and I had to get up at 6am to make it to the venue in London on time. So today I woke up late and pretty much did nothing all day. Tomorrow after work I need to be back in the gym and have a solid session because I have been slacking. Anyway, that's it for now. I may also give up on this blog but it seems like a good idea for now.
Reply 3
Gym post and random job update
Work was actually fine. I had a good day at work. Just focused on the actual work. I had a 1-1 with my manager and she was oddly very nice? I find her hard to read. She's very work-focused and never tries to mingle. With any of us. I guess I should roll with it. One of my colleagues said if there were any issues with my performance I would know by now so I guess I was overthinking it. I am just not comfortable not knowing how to do something. And starting somewhere new is basically just being an idiot for the first couple of months. It's not even that I am an idiot, I just haven't done this work before. It sucks feeling paranoid about others doubting your capabilities. Oh well. I just don't like feeling stupid. 😔
I was in the changing rooms after work getting ready for the gym and dropped my iPhone. The screen cracked. I thought I would have to pay like 300 for the screen, but then turns out it was just the cover that got cracked. Thank. F*ck. I went straight to Apple store and they told me the cover would be £30 and I was like hell no. I went to this phone repair shop and the guy fixed it up for £10. Being so close to everything because I work right in the middle of the city centre is amazing. During lunch I will sometimes go collect a parcel or do some shopping and whatnot.
Anyway, my gym session was fine. I did actually push myself a bit today. I tried to be mentally in a position where I could push my body. Apparently people have hacks, mental tricks for pushing hard. I made up a cliche scenario where I needed to be strong and it worked so I will carry on doing it.
I have lost some progress because I haven't been training very hard for the last couple of weeks...anyway I think this was my rough split today:
Also, typing this out is making me realise I don't actually do this properly because sometimes I will do random warmup sets and then 1 or 2 proper set. Also, I have never actually kept a thorough record before, I usually just make a note of the highest set...anyway, this is definitely making me realise my training needs to be more structured if I want to see results.
I want to add back/push days to my weekly training and branch out for cardio. My BIGGEST insecurity in the gym is sweating and worrying I will smell if I sweat too much. Anyway, that needs to be overcome slowly because I need to start training in new gym areas for back and cardio days. My RDLs are ****. But, at least I am getting the form down. I used to get back pain from them and now I have fixed that. I can't hip thrust to save my life either, I am on 30kg and want to give up. One of my uni friends can hip thrust 130kg and I am like how on earth...she's a small girl as well. I despair. But yeah. Onwards and upwards. I am very excited to experiment in the gym. I will probably try to add a run in at some point this week.
Work was actually fine. I had a good day at work. Just focused on the actual work. I had a 1-1 with my manager and she was oddly very nice? I find her hard to read. She's very work-focused and never tries to mingle. With any of us. I guess I should roll with it. One of my colleagues said if there were any issues with my performance I would know by now so I guess I was overthinking it. I am just not comfortable not knowing how to do something. And starting somewhere new is basically just being an idiot for the first couple of months. It's not even that I am an idiot, I just haven't done this work before. It sucks feeling paranoid about others doubting your capabilities. Oh well. I just don't like feeling stupid. 😔
I was in the changing rooms after work getting ready for the gym and dropped my iPhone. The screen cracked. I thought I would have to pay like 300 for the screen, but then turns out it was just the cover that got cracked. Thank. F*ck. I went straight to Apple store and they told me the cover would be £30 and I was like hell no. I went to this phone repair shop and the guy fixed it up for £10. Being so close to everything because I work right in the middle of the city centre is amazing. During lunch I will sometimes go collect a parcel or do some shopping and whatnot.
Anyway, my gym session was fine. I did actually push myself a bit today. I tried to be mentally in a position where I could push my body. Apparently people have hacks, mental tricks for pushing hard. I made up a cliche scenario where I needed to be strong and it worked so I will carry on doing it.
I have lost some progress because I haven't been training very hard for the last couple of weeks...anyway I think this was my rough split today:
•
RDL: 25kg — 4 sets x 12 reps
•
Leg Press: 93kg — 3 sets x 15 reps
•
Hip Abduction: 43kg — 3 sets x 12 reps
•
Leg Extension: 25kg — 4 sets x 10 reps
•
Cardio:
•
Stairmaster — 15 minutes
•
Bike — 5 minutes
I want to add back/push days to my weekly training and branch out for cardio. My BIGGEST insecurity in the gym is sweating and worrying I will smell if I sweat too much. Anyway, that needs to be overcome slowly because I need to start training in new gym areas for back and cardio days. My RDLs are ****. But, at least I am getting the form down. I used to get back pain from them and now I have fixed that. I can't hip thrust to save my life either, I am on 30kg and want to give up. One of my uni friends can hip thrust 130kg and I am like how on earth...she's a small girl as well. I despair. But yeah. Onwards and upwards. I am very excited to experiment in the gym. I will probably try to add a run in at some point this week.
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 4
So, I got a conch piercing, right. Now because of the placement, I can't risk bumping it with my hair. So if I run and my ponytail bumps it, the pain will have me screamingggg. Oh, the first week was rough if I accidentally touched it. A piercing is basically a foreign object in your body and your body will do everything it can to push it out. Imagine that kind of uncomfortable pain. To be fair, it's absolutely fine now. I still can't touch it though.
I need to go shopping tomorrow for gym clothes and then do a chill cardio day. The team is meeting up for drinks after work but honestly I am not drinking with people who are so negative and I don't vibe with any of them. I feel like it's important I go and good networking, but...ugh. No. It's so awkward with these people. Besides, I only drink to get drunk and that happens like maybe 2-3 times a year. I am not putting alcohol in my body for a networking event. I spend sooo much money on skincare. Drinking alcohol is undoing all of that. Also, I think I am over the drinking phase? Also drinking wine is so stupid don't get me started. It tastes horrible. So what's the point? I am definitely going to not drink ever again (unless I go out with friends). OK, that's all. I am going now. I need to figure out what to do during weekends too because I rot at home these days and that's not good enough.
I need to go shopping tomorrow for gym clothes and then do a chill cardio day. The team is meeting up for drinks after work but honestly I am not drinking with people who are so negative and I don't vibe with any of them. I feel like it's important I go and good networking, but...ugh. No. It's so awkward with these people. Besides, I only drink to get drunk and that happens like maybe 2-3 times a year. I am not putting alcohol in my body for a networking event. I spend sooo much money on skincare. Drinking alcohol is undoing all of that. Also, I think I am over the drinking phase? Also drinking wine is so stupid don't get me started. It tastes horrible. So what's the point? I am definitely going to not drink ever again (unless I go out with friends). OK, that's all. I am going now. I need to figure out what to do during weekends too because I rot at home these days and that's not good enough.
Reply 5
Work drama and clothes shopping (no gym)
Actually have so much tea today. I am going to make some and them come back to edit this.
It will be so interesting to read this back and see if my opinions on my colleagues or team dynamic change. It's just a whole mess. The manager is rarely in as she works from home and she's an abrupt woman. Very awkward to talk to. I am surprised she hasn't had more complaints. The girl my age who I thought I would click with the most doesn't talk to most people, is low-key rude and perhaps autistic. The guy in the team has a chip on his shoulders about not going to uni and if the uni topic comes up, he looks visibly defensive. Honestly, he's starting to annoy me too. All he does is vape and drink at socials. He drank so much he got stuck in another city after a WORK networking event. Now, if he was someone I vibed with, I would be like 'what a funny guy/ legend'. But, he's actually very *****y so he will be on the trash pile from now on. The the other two are admin so we don't work with each other and I keep getting their names confused (very similar). The guy seems lovely, but he also joins in when they talk about the girl who's my age. I get it, she's ****ed up a couple of times. I am starting to strongly suspect though that some of it is her missing social cues. The rest is her just being a suck-up but not hiding it well. I think most of them suck-up and to seniors and to an extent you have to, but maybe she's neurodivergent and doesn't hide it well. I don't know. I am not a psychologist.
But, I feel very uncomfortable when they ***** about her. She will leave the room and the admin woman will start talking **** about her. The other admin guy (who doesn't actually speak much English so we don't understand each other all that well) will join in. The vape guy will snicker. Anyway, I thought I was safe from this until I left today and didn't go to social. I told them I had personal responsibilities after work (I just needed to buy gym clothes lol). Anyway, during team meetings there's always drama. The girl will say something stupid and the Vape guy and the others will snicker. Look, it's not something I want to be a part of after my work hours. I also have a lot of issues with the team that I won't go into here.
So I get up, tell them I have an appointment and that I hope they have a good time, and go to my locker. The admin woman thinks I have left and starts snickering...the ****? Like she was telling me she isn't going and that I don't need to bother when I told her I couldn't go. She's actually disgusting. Like how are you going to sh!t-sitr for no obvious reason? She's so weird and all this time I was being super nice to her and asking her about her doctor's appointment and lunch and whatnot. Even though she bores me to death because she says nothing and shares nothing about her life - doesn't sound like there is much going on. She also tracks people's calendars like a total creep.
Anyway I am done trying to be friendly. All of that **** stops from tomorrow. I felt so awful after what she did when I got up to leave that I went into the changing rooms at work and ended up being upset. It's overwhelming, that's all. I don't care what someone like her has to say about me. I don't respect any of them. They can shove their opinions up their asses. I have just not been in this situation for a very, very long time. Honestly, I may consider getting in touch with a recruiter and consider moving. First though I will try to block them all out and only interact for work and just keep it super professional. I sent my friend a message (the one who I mentioned is a bit of a mentor) and he said he had been upset too because of work and that it's okay to be overwhelmed and whatnot. I always feel so much better after talking to him because he's been through it all (and even worse).
Anyway, so after that drama, I left and did some shopping. By the time I was done, it was like 6:30pm so I decided to skip the gym today and come home early.
Actually have so much tea today. I am going to make some and them come back to edit this.
It will be so interesting to read this back and see if my opinions on my colleagues or team dynamic change. It's just a whole mess. The manager is rarely in as she works from home and she's an abrupt woman. Very awkward to talk to. I am surprised she hasn't had more complaints. The girl my age who I thought I would click with the most doesn't talk to most people, is low-key rude and perhaps autistic. The guy in the team has a chip on his shoulders about not going to uni and if the uni topic comes up, he looks visibly defensive. Honestly, he's starting to annoy me too. All he does is vape and drink at socials. He drank so much he got stuck in another city after a WORK networking event. Now, if he was someone I vibed with, I would be like 'what a funny guy/ legend'. But, he's actually very *****y so he will be on the trash pile from now on. The the other two are admin so we don't work with each other and I keep getting their names confused (very similar). The guy seems lovely, but he also joins in when they talk about the girl who's my age. I get it, she's ****ed up a couple of times. I am starting to strongly suspect though that some of it is her missing social cues. The rest is her just being a suck-up but not hiding it well. I think most of them suck-up and to seniors and to an extent you have to, but maybe she's neurodivergent and doesn't hide it well. I don't know. I am not a psychologist.
But, I feel very uncomfortable when they ***** about her. She will leave the room and the admin woman will start talking **** about her. The other admin guy (who doesn't actually speak much English so we don't understand each other all that well) will join in. The vape guy will snicker. Anyway, I thought I was safe from this until I left today and didn't go to social. I told them I had personal responsibilities after work (I just needed to buy gym clothes lol). Anyway, during team meetings there's always drama. The girl will say something stupid and the Vape guy and the others will snicker. Look, it's not something I want to be a part of after my work hours. I also have a lot of issues with the team that I won't go into here.
So I get up, tell them I have an appointment and that I hope they have a good time, and go to my locker. The admin woman thinks I have left and starts snickering...the ****? Like she was telling me she isn't going and that I don't need to bother when I told her I couldn't go. She's actually disgusting. Like how are you going to sh!t-sitr for no obvious reason? She's so weird and all this time I was being super nice to her and asking her about her doctor's appointment and lunch and whatnot. Even though she bores me to death because she says nothing and shares nothing about her life - doesn't sound like there is much going on. She also tracks people's calendars like a total creep.
Anyway I am done trying to be friendly. All of that **** stops from tomorrow. I felt so awful after what she did when I got up to leave that I went into the changing rooms at work and ended up being upset. It's overwhelming, that's all. I don't care what someone like her has to say about me. I don't respect any of them. They can shove their opinions up their asses. I have just not been in this situation for a very, very long time. Honestly, I may consider getting in touch with a recruiter and consider moving. First though I will try to block them all out and only interact for work and just keep it super professional. I sent my friend a message (the one who I mentioned is a bit of a mentor) and he said he had been upset too because of work and that it's okay to be overwhelmed and whatnot. I always feel so much better after talking to him because he's been through it all (and even worse).
Anyway, so after that drama, I left and did some shopping. By the time I was done, it was like 6:30pm so I decided to skip the gym today and come home early.
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 6
Oh my post has been removed because I think I swore too much. Lol.
Reply 7
@Evil Homer Hi 🙂 Could you please confirm whether removed posts are re-posted once the content that breaches your guidelines has been taken out? I made a post just now that has disappeared and I haven't even been notified of this. I spent like a good half an hour writing so would rather not lose that material ahaha thank you!
Reply 8
Original post by delulu solulu
@Evil Homer Hi 🙂 Could you please confirm whether removed posts are re-posted once the content that breaches your guidelines has been taken out? I made a post just now that has disappeared and I haven't even been notified of this. I spent like a good half an hour writing so would rather not lose that material ahaha thank you!
Content that's flagged by our systems is hidden until approved. Unless it breaks guidelines it will re-appear. Let me look and see if I can approve it now
Reply 9
Original post by Evil Homer
Content that's flagged by our systems is hidden until approved. Unless it breaks guidelines it will re-appear. Let me look and see if I can approve it now
You are amazing thank you 😭 Sorry I swore too much so that's probably why it was flagged. Thanks again!
Reply 10
Original post by delulu solulu
@Evil Homer Hi 🙂 Could you please confirm whether removed posts are re-posted once the content that breaches your guidelines has been taken out? I made a post just now that has disappeared and I haven't even been notified of this. I spent like a good half an hour writing so would rather not lose that material ahaha thank you!
I've approved this post this time. Might do you a few favours if we try and keep the swearing down to a minimum, it is a little on the fence
Hope you have a good evening
Reply 11
Original post by Evil Homer
I've approved this post this time. Might do you a few favours if we try and keep the swearing down to a minimum, it is a little on the fence
Hope you have a good evening
Hope you have a good evening
I will try my best. 😭💀
And you!! 🙂
Reply 12
I am actually so tired I know I will sleep well. I got home around 8pm and then meal prepped and now it's like 10pm lol Work was fine today. Manager was working remotely and there were a couple of issues but I won't go into it because it's not that major and I will just need to learn to navigate office politics. Also, the woman who snickered yesterday was talking crap (managed to avoid swearing) about the other girl today. Honestly, whatever. I am so over it. My friend said to focus on work and not try to make 'friends' or worry that I am stuck with un-friendable bunch. He's right. Besides I am leaving around October. Also, another friend said "Don't let santa's mum disturb you!!" and lowkey it made my day because it's so funny. I am very grateful that I have such supportive friends who are able to help me navigate these situations. It's just a little annoying because at home I have to deal with my older sister's nonsense and now at work I feel like I will have to deal with drama and I feel a little stuck between two very difficult circumstances/situations. My friend's advice is sound though -- I am definitely strong and tough enough for the work stuff and as long as I focus on what needs to be done and keep out of everything else, I will be fine. I am meeting up with old school friends and I will try to pick up a weekend hobby or something to socialise and just focus on thriving. I mean this whole blog is about self-care and glowing from within and outside so that's what I want to be focusing on.
Gym log:
Did maybe 20 minutes of bike + Stairmaster cardio. I left earlier because there was a class.
Gym log:
•
Hip abduction – 45kg 4x15; maxed 52kg (not full set)
•
Leg press – 93kg 4x15; 100kg 1x15
•
RDL – 25kg 4x10
•
Squat – 40kg 2x8; 50kg 2x4
•
Leg extension -- 25kg 4x10
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 13
Today was supposed to be cardio day, but I did 25 minutes on stair master and wasn't feeling it so I left. Even at work I felt a bit dizzy and sickly. I think in this profession I have to give up coffee because it makes me very anxious/queasy. In the morning a senior colleague wanted me to jump on a client call and I had done the work but with very little understanding so I was on edge the entire time. Meeting had to be rescheduled. But it's the anticipation and the adrenalin that makes you crash after. I will learn with time to take stuff less seriously. It's just a learning curve. I enjoyed the work today though, it was varied and actually challenging but in a manageable way. Research-focused tasks.
Matcha is soooo nice and does the trick in the morning in terms of energy so will be buying more and cut out coffee completely. And tomorrow's leg day again so I better be feeling up to it.
Right before I left work Santa's mum said something about it being odd that I leave at 4pm and I was like those are my hours lmao I get to work before any of them. Also she actually does printing and that's about it 😭 my friend said santa's mum is collecting pension doing absolutely nothing and I was actually howling on the phone.
It's fine. Deep breaths. I have got this. I need to focus on what's important to me, and yes, leaving work so I can go take care of my physical health is far, far more important to me than sitting in some stupid office doing unpaid work. Also, I am actually going through a lot at the moment so I am doing the right thing prioritising my health.
It's the audacity of people trying to be an ******* to you when they are in no place to be making comments like that. I think she's deeply unhappy which is why she never shuts up about others. Was trying to make me paranoid and say the other girl wants to throw me under the bus...girl, I am here to work. I don't care. Leave me alone. Did I mention she tracks others' calendars? Completely weird. I don't know if I should be tactical and carry on letting her feed me some gossip. She's a snitch so I have to be careful. I will just change topics or seem disinterested if she starts talking crap.
Matcha is soooo nice and does the trick in the morning in terms of energy so will be buying more and cut out coffee completely. And tomorrow's leg day again so I better be feeling up to it.
Right before I left work Santa's mum said something about it being odd that I leave at 4pm and I was like those are my hours lmao I get to work before any of them. Also she actually does printing and that's about it 😭 my friend said santa's mum is collecting pension doing absolutely nothing and I was actually howling on the phone.
It's fine. Deep breaths. I have got this. I need to focus on what's important to me, and yes, leaving work so I can go take care of my physical health is far, far more important to me than sitting in some stupid office doing unpaid work. Also, I am actually going through a lot at the moment so I am doing the right thing prioritising my health.
It's the audacity of people trying to be an ******* to you when they are in no place to be making comments like that. I think she's deeply unhappy which is why she never shuts up about others. Was trying to make me paranoid and say the other girl wants to throw me under the bus...girl, I am here to work. I don't care. Leave me alone. Did I mention she tracks others' calendars? Completely weird. I don't know if I should be tactical and carry on letting her feed me some gossip. She's a snitch so I have to be careful. I will just change topics or seem disinterested if she starts talking crap.
Reply 14
What the actual fudge. I bought this when it was ONLY £5 (on sale) and this is for like 20 cups max. I am not buying this again
(edited 4 weeks ago)
Reply 15
Reduced the reps and increased the weight. Really happy with the progress I am making. Will keep this the same next session and increase some stuff the following. I am still not pushing as hard as my body is capable of, but that's something I will work on the more strength I develop.
Hip abduction – 45kg 4x15
Leg press – 93kg 2x15; 100kg 1x15; 107kg 1x15
Leg extension – 32kg 4x10
RDL – 30kg 4x8
Squat – 45kg 3x5; 50kg 2x5
20 minutes on the bike. I got lazy with cardio. To be fair, I am thinking of not even worrying about cardio on leg day because I do cardio the next day anyway. No point feeling like I am overtraining and exhausting myself.
Hip abduction – 45kg 4x15
Leg press – 93kg 2x15; 100kg 1x15; 107kg 1x15
Leg extension – 32kg 4x10
RDL – 30kg 4x8
Squat – 45kg 3x5; 50kg 2x5
20 minutes on the bike. I got lazy with cardio. To be fair, I am thinking of not even worrying about cardio on leg day because I do cardio the next day anyway. No point feeling like I am overtraining and exhausting myself.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Reply 16
Gym log and job application update / 19 May
Didn't go to the gym on Sunday for my cardio day because I had a pretty stressful day. Earlier during the day I met up with old school friends and did a couple of chores. I had a good gym session today. I was in the gym when I got an update on a job application I made. I am currently employed, but I am applying for something else and it's been a year-long process thus far. I was literally so on edge I could hear my heartbeat. I didn't get to the next stage which sucks, but what sucks more is that I was already dreading reading the email because deep down I knew I wouldn't get it. Self-doubt can suck. It sucks so much. I think it's such a ruthless process I honestly have to start being my own champion. I am exhausted. In some ways. This year has been a lot. In a lot of ways I feel like I have achieved nothing? I know that's untrue because I have worked extremely hard. Worked and then carried on applying for my graduate job in the background. Carried on with my personal goals despite the setback. Ugh. I hate the whole setback rubbish. I hate CV talk. I hate job talk. I hate corporate people. I hate 'selling' myself. I am actually so sick of talking about why this industry and why me. Go f*ck yourself. The whole process is absolute rubbish.
Well, anyway. So even though I was tempted to leave the gym because I was kind of down about it, I said f*ck no. I am honestly done giving up on myself and I am done letting these stupid emails and this stupid job-hunt get in the way of my personal life and happiness. I AM capable of achieving greats things. Onwards and upwards. I am sure I will get a better offer and things didn't work out because something better is on its way. I know this delusional talk may be a bit cringe, but I am holding onto it. I want to at least feel like I didn't hold myself back because of my self-limiting beliefs.
Anyway, It's quite late so I will stop here. This is all over the place. I am not going to bother editing it. I was pretty angry and upset and now I am over it. I will get back to applying in a week or two.
•
Hip abduction – 45kg 4x10 supersets
•
Leg press – 93kg 2x15; 100kg 1x15; 107kg 1x15
•
Leg extension – 32kg 2x10; 39 2x10
•
RDL – 30kg 4x8
•
Squat – 45kg 2x5; 50kg 2x5
Well, anyway. So even though I was tempted to leave the gym because I was kind of down about it, I said f*ck no. I am honestly done giving up on myself and I am done letting these stupid emails and this stupid job-hunt get in the way of my personal life and happiness. I AM capable of achieving greats things. Onwards and upwards. I am sure I will get a better offer and things didn't work out because something better is on its way. I know this delusional talk may be a bit cringe, but I am holding onto it. I want to at least feel like I didn't hold myself back because of my self-limiting beliefs.
Anyway, It's quite late so I will stop here. This is all over the place. I am not going to bother editing it. I was pretty angry and upset and now I am over it. I will get back to applying in a week or two.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Reply 17
Skipping my cardio session today because I have the worst cramps. I literally took 4 paracetamols (throughout the day, not in one go lmaoooo). I need to stop abusing painkillers. Well, I think tomorrow I should feel better. Earlier I just felt so hot and sick? I don't know.
The guy at work, the one who I was moaning about only being interested in certain topics. He is being really friendly lately and I am opening up to him a bit more. He's actually my age and I wonder if there's more we may have in common. I don't know. It's hard to figure people out. People are so complicated. He can be quite b!tchy though so I won't like forget that he's a colleague after all. I am definitely going to follow my friend's advice and treat work as a purely networking/ skill-building part of my life for now. At least with this team.
The guy at work, the one who I was moaning about only being interested in certain topics. He is being really friendly lately and I am opening up to him a bit more. He's actually my age and I wonder if there's more we may have in common. I don't know. It's hard to figure people out. People are so complicated. He can be quite b!tchy though so I won't like forget that he's a colleague after all. I am definitely going to follow my friend's advice and treat work as a purely networking/ skill-building part of my life for now. At least with this team.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Reply 18
Gym Log 21 May
Struggled with the RDLs today because of the callouses that are starting to form on my palms lmaoooo but, I came home and realised my form needs to improve so I am looking forward to fixing a couple of things on next leg day. Also, not feeling the burn the way I used or get pain/soreness the next day so will need to check if that's normal or if I am not pushing hard enough.
•
Hip abduction – 45kg 4x10 supersets
•
Leg press – 93kg 1x15; 100kg 2x15; 107kg 1x15; 113kg 1x10
•
Leg extension – 39kg 4x10
•
RDL – 30kg 4x10
•
Squat – 50kg 4x5; 55kg 2x3
Reply 19
Gym Log and Avoiding Rabies...and moving out - 23/05
I should probably stop petting stray cats. I was petting this cat, right, and she rolls onto her back. I start rubbing her tummy and the b!tch scratches me (the HUGE gash as attached in Exhibit 1). My friend, who has TWO cats, later told me even though it means they are comfortable around you when they roll over, you should never rub their tummy. Er....lesson learnt, I guess?
Gym Log
Hip abduction – 45kg 4x10 supersets -- These actually burnt so much this time because I took my time with the sets and kept tension and slowed down my movements. Will carry on doing this from now on and focusing on form/technique as well as weight.
Leg press – 107kg 4x10
Leg extension – 39kg 4x10
RDL – 30kg 4x8
Squat – 50kg 4x5; 55kg 1x5
I usually do more on leg press, but today I did it after all my other sets so maybe why I couldn't push more. I also think lifting heavier stopped me from doing a final 'failure' set? Well, in any case, I am happy with my effort today.
Oh and I am starting to look for places to move out. It's time. I am looking forward to this next chapter.
I should probably stop petting stray cats. I was petting this cat, right, and she rolls onto her back. I start rubbing her tummy and the b!tch scratches me (the HUGE gash as attached in Exhibit 1). My friend, who has TWO cats, later told me even though it means they are comfortable around you when they roll over, you should never rub their tummy. Er....lesson learnt, I guess?
Gym Log
Hip abduction – 45kg 4x10 supersets -- These actually burnt so much this time because I took my time with the sets and kept tension and slowed down my movements. Will carry on doing this from now on and focusing on form/technique as well as weight.
Leg press – 107kg 4x10
Leg extension – 39kg 4x10
RDL – 30kg 4x8
Squat – 50kg 4x5; 55kg 1x5
I usually do more on leg press, but today I did it after all my other sets so maybe why I couldn't push more. I also think lifting heavier stopped me from doing a final 'failure' set? Well, in any case, I am happy with my effort today.
Oh and I am starting to look for places to move out. It's time. I am looking forward to this next chapter.
(edited 2 weeks ago)
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