How weird is it to get tired of a boyfriend?

So, for context, I am extremely antisocial, I love being alone, and going outside causes me severe stress and misery. I don't contact my old friends or family because I just prefer to be alone. Talking is horrible, even sending a text message repulses me. This isn't from a lack of exposure; I have always been active in education, I go to work, and I go shopping, because these are necessary, but they cause me so much misery I start to wonder if I can continue doing it. I am in the process of receiving an autism diagnosis and may ask for a schizoid diagnosis if I think it will somehow help. I am only happy alone and am stressed if there is anyone nearby me (other than that, I feel nothing ever, no anger or sadness). I am not lonely at all and I don't feel empathy, but I decided to pursue a relationship because having another person to keep me stable seemed like it might keep me from floundering. I do love my boyfriend, and he is the only one I have ever felt any love for (including my family).

My boyfriend is perfect for me. He has done nothing wrong, and if I spend a few hours with him on a given day, I feel strong love and affection and I just want to cuddle with him. However, I soon start to think about how much happier I'd be if I was daydreaming alone, walking alone, reading alone, etc., and I start counting down the hours until he leaves. After he leaves, I feel like I've been hit by a truck and have no social battery left, and I don't even have the energy to move off of my bed. We are very compatible, and I want to marry him...but on the other hand, I don't know how to stop getting tired of my boyfriend for no reason. Has anybody experienced this? Do you have any insight on what I can do to fix this?

Reply 1

anosmianAcrimony

20

I think it's not as weird as you might think; I think it happens more than people talk about. It's totally okay to not want to be with him all the time, and that's not incompatible with the fact that you love him dearly.

If your boyfriend's the right person, it might be possible to enter a "parallel play" kind of vibe where you both do your own things and don't worry about entertaining the other person or the fact that they're there, but still enjoy each other's company on some level. You have to be really comfortable and secure with each other for that to work though. It may be worth looking for ways to spend time with him that don't feel so draining, but don't feel you need to "STOP getting tired of my boyfriend for no reason" - that's probably not going to happen - and don't feel you need to "fix this" - you are not broken!

Overall I'd just recommend you listen to how you're feeling and try not to completely exhaust your social battery. It could help to talk with him about all of this and let him know that you need a lot of time to yourself.

Reply 2

Little pecker

20

Literally everyone goes through this

Reply 3

surf_lozz

7

Can you arrange regular me time for your self in your relationship? Equally don’t worry it’s not to be ashamed of. I ended up being too needy insecure so was rejected eventually. Hindsight wonderful thing. Your needs must come first. But one plea… that’s not to “ghost” as while quick fix. Longterm consequences take longer to heal

Reply 4

surf_lozz

7

Can you arrange regular me time for your self in your relationship? Equally don’t worry it’s not to be ashamed of. I ended up being too needy insecure so was rejected eventually. Hindsight wonderful thing. Your needs must come first. But one plea… that’s not to “ghost” as while quick fix. Longterm consequences take longer to heal

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by surf_lozz

Can you arrange regular me time for your self in your relationship? Equally don’t worry it’s not to be ashamed of. I ended up being too needy insecure so was rejected eventually. Hindsight wonderful thing. Your needs must come first. But one plea… that’s not to “ghost” as while quick fix. Longterm consequences take longer to heal

I actually have a lot of 'me' time, and hang out with him only two days a week. But I currently need that to be 3 hours a week. Which is pretty unreasonable of me, so I don't know how to extend my social battery. I feel this way with everyone I know; since daydreaming is mostly the only thing that makes me happy, I feel like he is keeping me from my daydreaming, and I begin to feel resentful and miserable pretty fast.

Reply 6

meenu89

19

normal... you get tired of physical things, sometimes you get bored of your and yearn for change. so it seems normal to be bored of a relationship

(edited 10 months ago)

How weird is it to get tired of a boyfriend?

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