If a dating profile says I never had a girlfriend would it put you off?
My dating profile states, truthfully that I have never had a girlfriend. Could this ever be interesting or attractive to a woman or is it universally repellent?
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Reply 1
12
Yes it would. If you are under 25 I wouldn’t be put off because you haven’t had a girlfriend but because you want to make a point about it. It sounds rather desperate as though you are judging yourself by the lack of girlfriend and that you would rather have anyone to tick the box, or maybe feel women are at fault in an incel kind of way. I would be much more attracted to someone who is confident in themselves and doesn’t feel they need a girlfriend in order to achieve some goal. Who views women as individuals and prepared to wait to find someone who they value and who values them.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousMy dating profile states, truthfully that I have never had a girlfriend. Could this ever be interesting or attractive to a woman or is it universally repellent?
Not sure what the other person meant with their reply but, if you express that you don't have a gf In a healthy sense, maybe you want someone who is the same or similar, then it's completely fine. Might be a bit easier to say it after you get to know someone a bit better though
Reply 3
Original post
by FiBoxYes it would. If you are under 25 I wouldn’t be put off because you haven’t had a girlfriend but because you want to make a point about it. It sounds rather desperate as though you are judging yourself by the lack of girlfriend and that you would rather have anyone to tick the box, or maybe feel women are at fault in an incel kind of way. I would be much more attracted to someone who is confident in themselves and doesn’t feel they need a girlfriend in order to achieve some goal. Who views women as individuals and prepared to wait to find someone who they value and who values them.
Oh, for reference I don't say anything else. Literally just the sentence I have never had a girlfriend. In the bio section at least. In the other sections I list my interests.
I thought it might filter out the type of women who want a stud reputation
Reply 4
12
I just wouldn’t mention it upfront as a ‘selling point’. No harm mentioning once you start to chat. If you haven’t had a girlfriend friend before then I doubt you would come across as a stud anyway.
Reply 5
Having no relationship experience should not be regarded as a mark of shame. We've all been there at some point.
However a dating profile is a limited opportunity to catch the attention of someone else. Going in with "never had a girlfriend" doesn't do that. Instead it gives off needy and desperate vibes.
However a dating profile is a limited opportunity to catch the attention of someone else. Going in with "never had a girlfriend" doesn't do that. Instead it gives off needy and desperate vibes.
Reply 6
21
I would only put positive sentiments in your profile. It’s not the fact you haven’t had a gf that matters, just that you’re highlighting it which could make the wrong impression
Reply 7
Yeah as above, while being a rookie isn't weird and a lot of people would give someone a chance... for a dating profile it's awful, most people on these apps know what they want and it's generally not going to be someone with no idea what they're doing.
It's like a cv where the employment history section just says 'I have never had a job'. it's a situation everyone has been in but no one is getting hired with that CV, most recruiters will move straight onto the next one that actually has entries/exp, even if some of those recruiters might have taken a chance on a new worker if approached differently.
It's like a cv where the employment history section just says 'I have never had a job'. it's a situation everyone has been in but no one is getting hired with that CV, most recruiters will move straight onto the next one that actually has entries/exp, even if some of those recruiters might have taken a chance on a new worker if approached differently.
Reply 8
Do you have professional looking photos on your profile? Spending time on improving the text part of your profile is pointless if you have amateurish looking photos.
Once you've sorted out the photos, it's fine if you say that you've never had a girlfriend - IF you spin it in the right way and IF the sort of woman that you want is the sort that would be attracted to someone that had never had a girlfriend.
It's fine if your profile is polarising, so that many women would have no interest in you. As long as the sort of women that wouldn't be interested are the sort that you wouldn't be interested in. And as long as a proportion of the women that you're interested in, would be attracted by what they see and read in your profile.
If no other man is admitting to zero previous relationships on that dating site, that's great, as you'll be standing out from the crowd.
Don't say it as "I've never had a girlfriend"
You could say it as "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate."
Or "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate, with no baggage."
Or "If I were a car, I'd be brand new. I'm not going to say what make and model I'd be. As whatever I said, you'd think I was bragging or being virtue signalling humble."
Or some other variation of that where you assert one or more of the positives of you never having had a girlfriend - from the point of view of your target audience.
Spin your interests in a similar way.
For example don't say "I like playing video games." Say "I enjoy creating video game related social media content" (and make it true that you do - even if it's just you streaming you playing or creating youtube videos of your gaming).
Having said all that, there's probably ways you could write a great profile for you that doesn't go anywhere near your lack of previous girlfriends.
And what do you really want? Do you want to settle down with and marry the first woman that you date? Or would you prefer to get involved with a few women, so that you can learn how to be a good partner and how to select women and then settle down?
Don't worry about the stud reputation thing, or the lack of a stud reputation. Most of what you think you know about dating is incorrect. Keep an open mind. Learning about how to get good at dating and relationships is an enjoyable process - when you approach it with the right frame of mind. One of positivity and enthusiasm and not taking setbacks seriously.
Your perfect woman may well be someone that thought that she wanted an experienced man, until she met you.
Once you've sorted out the photos, it's fine if you say that you've never had a girlfriend - IF you spin it in the right way and IF the sort of woman that you want is the sort that would be attracted to someone that had never had a girlfriend.
It's fine if your profile is polarising, so that many women would have no interest in you. As long as the sort of women that wouldn't be interested are the sort that you wouldn't be interested in. And as long as a proportion of the women that you're interested in, would be attracted by what they see and read in your profile.
If no other man is admitting to zero previous relationships on that dating site, that's great, as you'll be standing out from the crowd.
Don't say it as "I've never had a girlfriend"
You could say it as "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate."
Or "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate, with no baggage."
Or "If I were a car, I'd be brand new. I'm not going to say what make and model I'd be. As whatever I said, you'd think I was bragging or being virtue signalling humble."
Or some other variation of that where you assert one or more of the positives of you never having had a girlfriend - from the point of view of your target audience.
Spin your interests in a similar way.
For example don't say "I like playing video games." Say "I enjoy creating video game related social media content" (and make it true that you do - even if it's just you streaming you playing or creating youtube videos of your gaming).
Having said all that, there's probably ways you could write a great profile for you that doesn't go anywhere near your lack of previous girlfriends.
And what do you really want? Do you want to settle down with and marry the first woman that you date? Or would you prefer to get involved with a few women, so that you can learn how to be a good partner and how to select women and then settle down?
Don't worry about the stud reputation thing, or the lack of a stud reputation. Most of what you think you know about dating is incorrect. Keep an open mind. Learning about how to get good at dating and relationships is an enjoyable process - when you approach it with the right frame of mind. One of positivity and enthusiasm and not taking setbacks seriously.
Your perfect woman may well be someone that thought that she wanted an experienced man, until she met you.
Reply 9
Original post
by Dunnig KrugerDo you have professional looking photos on your profile? Spending time on improving the text part of your profile is pointless if you have amateurish looking photos.
Once you've sorted out the photos, it's fine if you say that you've never had a girlfriend - IF you spin it in the right way and IF the sort of woman that you want is the sort that would be attracted to someone that had never had a girlfriend.
It's fine if your profile is polarising, so that many women would have no interest in you. As long as the sort of women that wouldn't be interested are the sort that you wouldn't be interested in. And as long as a proportion of the women that you're interested in, would be attracted by what they see and read in your profile.
If no other man is admitting to zero previous relationships on that dating site, that's great, as you'll be standing out from the crowd.
Don't say it as "I've never had a girlfriend"
You could say it as "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate."
Or "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate, with no baggage."
Or "If I were a car, I'd be brand new. I'm not going to say what make and model I'd be. As whatever I said, you'd think I was bragging or being virtue signalling humble."
Or some other variation of that where you assert one or more of the positives of you never having had a girlfriend - from the point of view of your target audience.
Spin your interests in a similar way.
For example don't say "I like playing video games." Say "I enjoy creating video game related social media content" (and make it true that you do - even if it's just you streaming you playing or creating youtube videos of your gaming).
Having said all that, there's probably ways you could write a great profile for you that doesn't go anywhere near your lack of previous girlfriends.
And what do you really want? Do you want to settle down with and marry the first woman that you date? Or would you prefer to get involved with a few women, so that you can learn how to be a good partner and how to select women and then settle down?
Don't worry about the stud reputation thing, or the lack of a stud reputation. Most of what you think you know about dating is incorrect. Keep an open mind. Learning about how to get good at dating and relationships is an enjoyable process - when you approach it with the right frame of mind. One of positivity and enthusiasm and not taking setbacks seriously.
Your perfect woman may well be someone that thought that she wanted an experienced man, until she met you.
Once you've sorted out the photos, it's fine if you say that you've never had a girlfriend - IF you spin it in the right way and IF the sort of woman that you want is the sort that would be attracted to someone that had never had a girlfriend.
It's fine if your profile is polarising, so that many women would have no interest in you. As long as the sort of women that wouldn't be interested are the sort that you wouldn't be interested in. And as long as a proportion of the women that you're interested in, would be attracted by what they see and read in your profile.
If no other man is admitting to zero previous relationships on that dating site, that's great, as you'll be standing out from the crowd.
Don't say it as "I've never had a girlfriend"
You could say it as "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate."
Or "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate, with no baggage."
Or "If I were a car, I'd be brand new. I'm not going to say what make and model I'd be. As whatever I said, you'd think I was bragging or being virtue signalling humble."
Or some other variation of that where you assert one or more of the positives of you never having had a girlfriend - from the point of view of your target audience.
Spin your interests in a similar way.
For example don't say "I like playing video games." Say "I enjoy creating video game related social media content" (and make it true that you do - even if it's just you streaming you playing or creating youtube videos of your gaming).
Having said all that, there's probably ways you could write a great profile for you that doesn't go anywhere near your lack of previous girlfriends.
And what do you really want? Do you want to settle down with and marry the first woman that you date? Or would you prefer to get involved with a few women, so that you can learn how to be a good partner and how to select women and then settle down?
Don't worry about the stud reputation thing, or the lack of a stud reputation. Most of what you think you know about dating is incorrect. Keep an open mind. Learning about how to get good at dating and relationships is an enjoyable process - when you approach it with the right frame of mind. One of positivity and enthusiasm and not taking setbacks seriously.
Your perfect woman may well be someone that thought that she wanted an experienced man, until she met you.
Thanks for taking the time on this reply👍
Reply 10
Original post
by AnonymousMy dating profile states, truthfully that I have never had a girlfriend. Could this ever be interesting or attractive to a woman or is it universally repellent?
Why don't you put yourself in the mind-set of a girl who may be browsing some dating profiles (or better still, the kind of girl you'd want to attract?)… what do you think their reaction would be if the first thing they read was a confession that you've never had a girlfriend?
Instead, as others have said, focus on the positive things about you... think of it like a marketing exercise, and list your best features and keep the overall vibe positive. What are your hobbies / interests? What are you looking for in a partner etc. Also, what sort of sites are you on? Sites like Tinder and Bumble tend to be more about casual hook-ups, so are naturally more superficial than others; therefore good photos / profile pics will strongly work in your favour. On the other hand, sites like match.com are more focused towards long-term relationships as the candidates main objective.
If you do get some matches, chances are she'll (eventually) work out that you haven't had a girlfriend... her decision on whether to continue will ultimately depend on the overall impression you're making and how well the two of you get on otherwise. Similarly, you'll also be finding out bits & pieces about her that will help you decide if she's right for you. If it helps, think of "getting to know each other" a bit like getting a striptease... you (eventually) want to see / know everything, but you don't want it all at once in one go (if that makes sense 😉).
Reply 11
Its not the most sexy or romantic thing you could say is it, I guess it ruins the attraction. And I think I am better looking than my track record suggests
Reply 12
12
The immediate response to any statement saying ‘I haven’t had a girlfriend’ is ‘why haven’t you had a girlfriend? What is wrong with you?’ So you then need to say why. Assuming you aren’t a creep that girls run a mile from, then the why will be the things that will attract a girl who is attracted to you so sell them instead.
Sorry ‘I am a clean sheet’ sounds crass.
Sorry ‘I am a clean sheet’ sounds crass.
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 13
Original post
by FiBoxThe immediate response to any statement saying ‘I haven’t had a girlfriend’ is ‘why haven’t you had a girlfriend? What is wrong with you?’ So you then need to say why. Assuming you aren’t a creep that girls run a mile from, then the why will be the things that will attract a girl who is attracted to you so sell them instead.
Sorry ‘I am a clean sheet’ sounds crass.
Sorry ‘I am a clean sheet’ sounds crass.
That's a great suggestion. Saying "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a clean sheet." is better than "You have the opportunity to meet a man that is a completely clean slate." Because of the mildly humourous association with bedding.
It would work well if one of the professional looking photos was of the original poster hanging up his bedding washing.
If on the other hand, one of the photos was an action shot of the original poster doing some roofing work, a clean slate would work better.
If one of the photos showed the original poster painting at an easel, then he should use the phrase "blank canvas".
Reply 14
21
Original post
by AnonymousMy dating profile states, truthfully that I have never had a girlfriend. Could this ever be interesting or attractive to a woman or is it universally repellent?
Horrid idea unless you’re a teen. Women are psychologically disposed to pre-selection which means they typically view a man with existing female attention as more attractive than a man without even when presenting with identical other features.
Reply 15
Original post
by Rakas21Horrid idea unless you’re a teen. Women are psychologically disposed to pre-selection which means they typically view a man with existing female attention as more attractive than a man without even when presenting with identical other features.
Its always annoyed me how they can never take you on objective merit. Like not just objectively looks personality but attention from.other women. Actually it's always struck me as a bit creepy that you are commodified in that way.
Reply 16
21
Original post
by AnonymousIts always annoyed me how they can never take you on objective merit. Like not just objectively looks personality but attention from.other women. Actually it's always struck me as a bit creepy that you are commodified in that way.
Intrasexual psychology suggests it’s embedded. Back when we were evolving as group creatures women became hypergamous because of the need to be protected and provisioned. Modern pre-selection is simply the hangover from that.
Reply 17
Original post
by Rakas21Intrasexual psychology suggests it’s embedded. Back when we were evolving as group creatures women became hypergamous because of the need to be protected and provisioned. Modern pre-selection is simply the hangover from that.
Ok interesting. Just strange but I guess there are guys like that too. Reputation comes first. And group perception.
Reply 18
21
Original post
by AnonymousOk interesting. Just strange but I guess there are guys like that too. Reputation comes first. And group perception.
Men typically don’t care for female pre-selection since we are many more times likely to be sexually attracted to any woman albeit yes, we do somewhat compete for status/reputation within a social hierarchy, though it’s generally less important to men than women because men are typically less socially dependent (albeit high rates of male loneliness suggest that may not be a positive thing).
Reply 19
20
Why would you put that in your profile? Your dating profile is essentially an advertisement for you - why someone would want to date you - so you include positive reasons why someone would want to date you.
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