Am I the idiot here?

I invited a friend to watch a sports event, but he said he didn’t have money for ride. I really wanted his company, so I paid for him. After the event, I suggested we walk home since it was still early on a Friday night and I thought it’d be a good chance for us to talk.

However, he had a suddenly change of his mood and sat down, barely speaking to me. I asked if we were going to walk home or not, and he replied that he would walk alone. Then he started talking to other friends in the phone. I asked if he was planning to go somewhere else, but he didn’t answer. I just stayed there with him, waiting for some response, but he remained distant.

Trying to make things easier, I offered to split the cost of ride, telling him I could pay upfront and he could pay me back later. He refused. After a bit of silence, he suddenly got up and started walking, saying he was heading home.

I followed him, concerned about the sudden mood shift and wondering if something was wrong. While we walked, he began trash-talking and told me to stop following him. I insisted for a bit, but eventually gave up and called a car for myself. As I got in, he stopped walking and waited in a corner nearby. Since he had told me to leave him, I left.

But shortly after, he sent me a message complaining that I had left him with low battery, no internet, and no way to get home. I was confused and surprised by this, so I asked the driver to turn around and go back to where I had left him. I returned, but by then my own phone battery had died, and we had no choice but to walk home together.

Later, I found out that he had talked badly about me to other friends, saying I had abandoned him. In the end, he made me feel like I was the one in the wrong—for not wanting to pay for both our rides from the start.

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

He may have seen it as you making sexual advances towards him, because you were so generous in paying for him, compounded by the "let's walk home together" invitation.

That's not you being an "Idiot". That's you being a bit too nice. In future, it's fine if you're less generous. And insist on friends paying upfront for any events of this sort that you go on with them.

Going to events on your own is fine. Talk to the people around you at the event.

He was out of order for trash talking you. And for being a drama queen about the whole thing.
That's the sort of behaviour where you should set firm boundaries. So that this friend is now relegated to the outer fringes of your social circle and he'll have to really make up for this in order to get promoted back to your inner circle.

Reply 2

Jellie06

I don't know if he's just embarrassed he can't afford to pay for a ride and was expecting you to fund both trips fully. Can't really tell if you were in the wrong without knowing his financial situation and if you offered to pay for both ride originally. It's kinda hard to understand the story because it feels like there's gaps but maybe he was offended by the walk because he took at as paying being a burden???

But I'm not really sure why he didn't want to walk and started trash talking you. Even if he was a bit annoyed at you I think the blowup is disproportionate and immature. How long have you known this guy and can you ask him straight up what happened?

Reply 3

Jellie06

But also on another note, saying you ditched him is just a plain lie. I think that shows a level of immaturity. If he acts like this a lot I would debate if the friendship is worth it. Because he honestly seems a bit of a whirlwind regardless