My girlfriend chooses to go out with her assaulter
Now here is why I am struggling.
She’s gone out with small groups which include him once before and she’s going out with him and some other people tonight. I am uncomfortable with her going out in either small or medium size groups with him. She says that she doesn’t want to let him ruin her time out because it’s like she would be letting him affect her even more which I understand but I feel like I’m the only person taking what he did seriously.
I want to be very clear that that she can absolutely make her own decisions, my feelings aren’t coming from any place of insecurity or jealousness, just protectiveness. Any guidance on the issue would be appreciated and I’m completely open to accepting I’m in the wrong if I am (because for all I know I could be).
Reply 1
I’m sorry I don’t understand. My girlfriend was sexually assaulted and she would say the same herself?
Reply 2
I have not posted anything on the student room regarding my girlfriend being sexually assaulted. This is the first time I’ve shared this story.
Reply 3
Reply 4
bro is on this thread as well
Reply 5
I'm everywhere. Took u long to find me tho.
Reply 6
What does that even mean
Reply 7
idk man its just pure brainrot
Reply 8
U feeling good. what u need is a goodnight sleep
Reply 9
Reply 10
•
tell her to Avoid being alone with this person under any circumstances.
•
i suggest she should not go to the group event if they will be there and she does not don’t feel 100% safe.
•
tell her to trust her Trust your instincts. If she ever feels unsafe, tell her to leave immediately or don’t go.
•
Talk to a trusted friend, adult, family member or someone who can support her.
•
let her know she does have to go through this alone. Let someone help her take action and stay safe.
•
make her write down exactly what happened: who, what, when, where.
•
make sure she saves any messages, photos, or anything else connected to the incident.
•
This helps if you decide to report it now or later.
•
go directly to the police or a sexual assault support organization for help and advice.
•
she has the right to make a report and ask for protection.
•
This is not her fault.
•
Their actions were wrong she did nothing to deserve it.
•
Talking to a therapist or support group can help her process what happened and rebuild confidence.
•
Free and confidential help is available through sexual assault hotlines and crisis centers.
U.S.:
•
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-4673 or rainn.org
•
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 or rapecrisis.org.uk
•
Talk 4 Healing: 1-855-554-4325
•
Or search "sexual assault support" + your location
Reply 11
Gcses, how old are u?
Reply 12
15, how are u?
Reply 13
i mean how old are u lol
Reply 14
•
make sure she avoids being alone with this person under any circumstances.
•
make sure she does not go to the group event if they will be there and you don’t feel 100% safe.
•
make sure she trusts her instincts. If she ever feels unsafe, she must leave immediately or don’t go.
•
Talk to a trusted friend, adult, family member, school counselor, or someone who can support you.
•
she does not don’t have to go through this alone. Let someone help you take action and stay safe.
•
make sure she Wwites down exactly what happened: who, what, when, where.
•
Save any messages, photos, or anything else connected to the incident.
•
This helps if you decide to report it now or later.
•
You can go directly to the police or a sexual assault support organization for help and advice.
•
You have the right to make a report and ask for protection.
•
This is not your girlfriends fault.
•
Their actions were wrong — you did nothing to deserve it.
•
Talking to a therapist or support group can help her process what happened and rebuild confidence.
•
Free and confidential help is available through sexual assault hotlines and crisis centers.
Here are confidential resources (depending on where you are):
U.S.:
•
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-4673 or rainn.org
•
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 or rapecrisis.org.uk
•
Talk 4 Healing: 1-855-554-4325
•
Or search "sexual assault support" + your location
Reply 15
Now here is why I am struggling.
She’s gone out with small groups which include him once before and she’s going out with him and some other people tonight. I am uncomfortable with her going out in either small or medium size groups with him. She says that she doesn’t want to let him ruin her time out because it’s like she would be letting him affect her even more which I understand but I feel like I’m the only person taking what he did seriously.
I want to be very clear that that she can absolutely make her own decisions, my feelings aren’t coming from any place of insecurity or jealousness, just protectiveness. Any guidance on the issue would be appreciated and I’m completely open to accepting I’m in the wrong if I am (because for all I know I could be).
U.S.:
•
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-4673 or rainn.org
•
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 or rapecrisis.org.uk
•
Talk 4 Healing: 1-855-554-4325
•
Or search "sexual assault support" + your location
Reply 16
Omg, i literally just noticed it in ur usernam. Im so dumb! This is so embrassing, Im like 18 so whatever I was saying before totally ignfore it. So sorryyyy omg I feel so dense!
Reply 17
heheh same bro dw we'll get throight it goodnight my lil skibidi xx
Reply 18
Now here is why I am struggling.
She’s gone out with small groups which include him once before and she’s going out with him and some other people tonight. I am uncomfortable with her going out in either small or medium size groups with him. She says that she doesn’t want to let him ruin her time out because it’s like she would be letting him affect her even more which I understand but I feel like I’m the only person taking what he did seriously.
I want to be very clear that that she can absolutely make her own decisions, my feelings aren’t coming from any place of insecurity or jealousness, just protectiveness. Any guidance on the issue would be appreciated and I’m completely open to accepting I’m in the wrong if I am (because for all I know I could be).
Actions speak louder than words. It’s hard to imagine she hated what he did that much as opposed to probably just regretting it.
I personally wouldn’t permit her to be going out with him if this is the case and you have the right to question this course of action.
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