Not feeling desired in long term relationship

Being a competent lover will help a lot. Women love orgasms. They love strong orgasms. They love having multiple orgasms.
The more often she has orgasms, strong orgasms, multiple orgasms when you make love with her, the more often she's going to want sex with you.
The pill thing is - probably - nonsense.
I'd also be looking at what she generally eats and drinks. There are certain foods that will increase her libido and certain foods that will do the opposite. And then there's stuff like alcohol that can provide a short term boost, but the day after will reduce it.
And there's her general emotions towards you. Do you go on lovey dates as much as when you first met? When was the last time you went on a week-end away with her?
Are you too clingy / needy? Cut out asking her to compliment you more. She will find you more attractive if you have inner self-confidence and if you need no compliments from others in order for you to be content and to thrive.
What is the general vibe between you like, when you're doing mundane stuff together?
There's also the possibility that she's getting her sex elsewhere.
Dumping her if this doesn't get fixed by September 2025 would be a sensible course of action.

man I thought this was app was for revision what is this brah

I definitely agree that emotional and physical connection go hand in hand, but I don’t think the issue is a lack of romance or effort on that front. We do ‘couple stuff’ all the time. Long walks, dates often, we go to parks, places with views, try new places.

I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong in bed (I ask her what she likes and I do that in bed etc) nor I am fishing for compliments either, I just don’t feel desired with no change. I also don’t know if I would necessarily agree with the food and diet stuff either as we eat pretty well, takeaways are very occasionally and we both enjoy healthy eating.

Not really looking to throw around ultimatums or jump to cheating suspicions either. Just trying to figure out if this is something that can shift naturally or if I need to accept that our physical connection might not come back.

Of the couples that have been previously been sexually active that have dropped to once a month or less often:

in 100% of cases the person with less sexual desire was getting sex elsewhere.
In 50% of cases the "elsewhere" was sex with themselves: masturbation.
In 50% of cases the elsewhere was with another person or more than one other person.

Sexual infidelity is a lot more common than many people think. Humans are very good at carrying out secretive affairs.

In 100% of cases their diet had excess amounts of sugar / fat / salt / meat. And insufficient amounts of fibre.

For the statistics where it was the woman that instigated the reduction in sexual activity:
80% of the men were poor to mediocre at making love. Where good at making love is defined as the woman reaching orgasm more often than not and having a strong or multiple orgasm more often than one session in ten.

90% of the men had significant failures in matters outside of the bedroom. With there being a very wide range of these. Examples including things like: a complete lack of ambition and drive in their working lives: to being bad tempered towards their partners: being controlling, being depressive alcoholics etc etc.

60% of the men were overweight or obese.

These statistics are rounded to the nearest 10%. The sample size is of the order where it is starting to get statistically significant.

One can learn a lot by having conversations with the people that you know. Where you freely discuss intimate stuff in the right kind of way.

Putting aside the range of obvious issues with terminology and definitions in this post, perhaps you could direct me to your source for these statistics and we can go from there.

The statistics come from my personal experience. It is a large enough sample size to be starting to get statistically significant.

How do my statistics compare to your statistics from your personal experience?

I'm glad that you came back with a measured post like this. It suggests a maturity that bodes well for handling these sorts of issues in long term relationships. Whilst some of the advice that you've already been given, such as making sure you're making time for each other, is good, in the main it's advice for those at the start of relationships or looking to get into a relationship that has been applied to long term relationships, but the two situations are very different and, in my view at least, much of the advice you've been given is off the mark. Raising the possibility of her cheating is way out of left field. There's nothing to suggest that, and it's good that you've responded how you have on that.
The good news is that what you're experiencing is both entirely normal and entirely fixable. It is absolutely natural, and indeed inevitable, for sexual connection and desire (though I'm going to come back to desire as a concept in a second) to change throughout the course of a long term relationship. There are literal physiological changes that occur in the brain at around two years into a relationship, and that change can shift the dynamic with things when it comes to sex. Even if a couple manages to avoid that in the years after that two year mark, it absolutely inevitably changes after you have children. So one way or the other, this is an issue that just about every couple experiences. I recognise so much of your post in thoughts that I had about my relationship with my wife. The fact that the relationship generally was good, the sex was good, but I just wanted to have sex more, I wanted her to want to have sex more, and underpinning that was a desire on my part to feel wanted. That is, pretty much word for word, how I've felt in my relationship at various points as well. But it isn't a relationship I would change for anything. It has been and continues to be fantastic and, like you, there was never any thought of actually ending the relationship. Things weren't ever even close to that bad. But that doesn't mean you can't have a very good relationship where there are things that you want to tweak or that you're a little dissatisfied with, and that's fundamentally what this thread is about. As I say, this is all normal.
I will say that it did take my wife and I quite a long time to knock that issue on the head. I am very much hoping that you can do it quicker, though on any reading there isn't an instant solution to this. It's something that takes time. I'm going to recommend a couple of books to you in a second which I think both you and your girlfriend should read, but fundamentally, you have to recognise that your focus on desire likely misunderstands the situation and doesn't help it. You wanting to have more sex, and her being aware of that, likely creates a cycle where she feels more pressure to have sex, and therefore is more reluctant to have it. It's likely the case that there is nothing wrong with her desire at all. It's just about changing your thinking and approach so that you can better create an environment where sex is more likely to happen. Part of that is shifting your thinking about her desire and how you interpret it as regards how much she wants you. The fact that she doesn't experience desire in the same way that you do is not a problem. It's actually really common. Most men experience spontaneous desire when it comes to sex, whereas most women experience reactive desire, particularly in longer term relationships. From what you've said that is likely the case here, and it means that she usually will not desire sex in the way that you do. But again, there's nothing wrong with that and it doesn't mean that you can't have better sex more often. It just means you need to approach the situation differently, and stop expecting her to experience desire the way that you do.
The two books I'm going to recommend are Come As You Are and Come Together by Emily Nagoski. Technically the second one (as may be obvious) is aimed at couples specifically whereas the first is aimed at women, but I'd recommend that you both read both of them. As with all books on sex and relationships, not all of it is going to chime with you and not all of it is going to be relevant, but I expect it will really help with shifting your perspective on these things, and in turn hopefully you'll be surprised at the massive difference that that can make to your sex life. But fundamentally, I can say for certain that there is nothing 'wrong' here and your general attitude towards this issue is absolutely right in that you're approaching it with an open mind and aren't making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. As I say, that does bode well for you and I wish you the best of luck with this.

I must admit, even by the standards of the internet you have discredited yourself spectacularly quickly there. I think Admit One's facepalm comment speaks for itself, but to be clear, people can and should give advice based on their own experience. But personal experience and broader statistics/science are two different things. You plainly don't understand how good research is undertaken anyway, but the fact that you think that your own experience is "statistically significant" (spoiler: it isn't) is enough alone to discredit everything else you say. And no, I'm not dignifying your post with a response based on my experience. You've shown the entire premise of your last post to be entirely nonsensical, and I wouldn't want to give anyone the impression that it is even slightly credible by engaging with this question.

How many samples do you think it would take for them to start to become statistically significant?

Hint:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/magic-number-30-why-sample-size-often-considered-sufficient

Bearing in mind that my personal experience isn't just what's happened to me in my own relationships.

When personal experience gets to the stage of a large enough sample size, it DOES start to take on statistical significance.
Regardless of what you say on the matter.

There is nothing nonsensical at all about giving a summary of statistics gained from personal experience.
If I asked 50 people the answer to a general knowledge question, eg "What's the capital of Burundi?" and then talked about my findings would you say that the entire premise of what I said was nonsensical?

There's a TV quiz show based on sample sizes of 100 😆

Your personal experience is not statistically significant. Even if it was, the way in which you presented the data in your previous post shows a whole host of issues around how it was gathered and categorised. Those figures, on any reading at all, are not in any way relevant or reliable for people generally.
The way that you presented your own experience as being statistically factual, as well as several aspects of this most recent post, demonstrate beyond doubt that you simply don't have even a basic understanding of how statistics and research works. It is not my job to educate you about that. You can do that on your own time. Those books I recommended to the OP might be a good start, given that they're not only about sex in long term relationships, but are also written by someone who is an actual researcher and provides the results of actual research in support of her advice. Seems like it could be a way for you to kill two birds with one stone.

You did not answer my question.
How many samples do you think it would take for them to start to become statistically significant?

I definitely agree that emotional and physical connection go hand in hand, but I don’t think the issue is a lack of romance or effort on that front. We do ‘couple stuff’ all the time. Long walks, dates often, we go to parks, places with views, try new places.
I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong in bed (I ask her what she likes and I do that in bed etc) nor I am fishing for compliments either, I just don’t feel desired with no change. I also don’t know if I would necessarily agree with the food and diet stuff either as we eat pretty well, takeaways are very occasionally and we both enjoy healthy eating.
Not really looking to throw around ultimatums or jump to cheating suspicions either. Just trying to figure out if this is something that can shift naturally or if I need to accept that our physical connection might not come back.

I'm glad that you came back with a measured post like this. It suggests a maturity that bodes well for handling these sorts of issues in long term relationships. Whilst some of the advice that you've already been given, such as making sure you're making time for each other, is good, in the main it's advice for those at the start of relationships or looking to get into a relationship that has been applied to long term relationships, but the two situations are very different and, in my view at least, much of the advice you've been given is off the mark. Raising the possibility of her cheating is way out of left field. There's nothing to suggest that, and it's good that you've responded how you have on that.
The good news is that what you're experiencing is both entirely normal and entirely fixable. It is absolutely natural, and indeed inevitable, for sexual connection and desire (though I'm going to come back to desire as a concept in a second) to change throughout the course of a long term relationship. There are literal physiological changes that occur in the brain at around two years into a relationship, and that change can shift the dynamic with things when it comes to sex. Even if a couple manages to avoid that in the years after that two year mark, it absolutely inevitably changes after you have children. So one way or the other, this is an issue that just about every couple experiences. I recognise so much of your post in thoughts that I had about my relationship with my wife. The fact that the relationship generally was good, the sex was good, but I just wanted to have sex more, I wanted her to want to have sex more, and underpinning that was a desire on my part to feel wanted. That is, pretty much word for word, how I've felt in my relationship at various points as well. But it isn't a relationship I would change for anything. It has been and continues to be fantastic and, like you, there was never any thought of actually ending the relationship. Things weren't ever even close to that bad. But that doesn't mean you can't have a very good relationship where there are things that you want to tweak or that you're a little dissatisfied with, and that's fundamentally what this thread is about. As I say, this is all normal.
I will say that it did take my wife and I quite a long time to knock that issue on the head. I am very much hoping that you can do it quicker, though on any reading there isn't an instant solution to this. It's something that takes time. I'm going to recommend a couple of books to you in a second which I think both you and your girlfriend should read, but fundamentally, you have to recognise that your focus on desire likely misunderstands the situation and doesn't help it. You wanting to have more sex, and her being aware of that, likely creates a cycle where she feels more pressure to have sex, and therefore is more reluctant to have it. It's likely the case that there is nothing wrong with her desire at all. It's just about changing your thinking and approach so that you can better create an environment where sex is more likely to happen. Part of that is shifting your thinking about her desire and how you interpret it as regards how much she wants you. The fact that she doesn't experience desire in the same way that you do is not a problem. It's actually really common. Most men experience spontaneous desire when it comes to sex, whereas most women experience reactive desire, particularly in longer term relationships. From what you've said that is likely the case here, and it means that she usually will not desire sex in the way that you do. But again, there's nothing wrong with that and it doesn't mean that you can't have better sex more often. It just means you need to approach the situation differently, and stop expecting her to experience desire the way that you do.
The two books I'm going to recommend are Come As You Are and Come Together by Emily Nagoski. Technically the second one (as may be obvious) is aimed at couples specifically whereas the first is aimed at women, but I'd recommend that you both read both of them. As with all books on sex and relationships, not all of it is going to chime with you and not all of it is going to be relevant, but I expect it will really help with shifting your perspective on these things, and in turn hopefully you'll be surprised at the massive difference that that can make to your sex life. But fundamentally, I can say for certain that there is nothing 'wrong' here and your general attitude towards this issue is absolutely right in that you're approaching it with an open mind and aren't making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. As I say, that does bode well for you and I wish you the best of luck with this.