Should i let my dads opinion stop me from going where i really want to go?
Hi, i am a 2025 applicant in the UK and i have received all my offers for architecture and i have narrowed my decisions down to UCL and Bath. The issue here is, that i already know that i really want to go to UCL. (I like Bath too, it just doesn't make me feel as excited to go to university as UCL does).
The problem is that i live outside of London in a small town and my dad is extremely anxious about my living in London as he thinks its too dangerous, i don't really agree with this as i think it depends on the area of London you are in and Bloomsbury does not seem that bad.
Should i let this effect my decision?
I know that this is not a super typical question about unis but i was wondering if anyone else had gone through a similar situation with their parents and what they ended up doing about it?
The problem is that i live outside of London in a small town and my dad is extremely anxious about my living in London as he thinks its too dangerous, i don't really agree with this as i think it depends on the area of London you are in and Bloomsbury does not seem that bad.
Should i let this effect my decision?
I know that this is not a super typical question about unis but i was wondering if anyone else had gone through a similar situation with their parents and what they ended up doing about it?
Reply 1
I mean like, he can't legally nor physically stop you from going to London. It may cause a slight rift in the relationship with him, but you'll have to deal with that when it happens. He'll have to get over it eventually, and I think it's better you have a minor falling out with him than regret where you study for the next 4/5 years.
Honestly, I don't think the crime rates of bath and London are THAT different. Maybe look at the different crime rates, and show him those. While London does have a fairly high crime rate, the rest of the UK does as well tbh. Most crime that happens in London is theft - just don't walk around with your phone out and it'll be fine. I've lived in London my whole life, and I attended a college near UCL during A levels and apart from a bike accessory being stolen 🗿 (outside my college, near UCL) I've had no other issues in that area. Within my local area - the only crime I've experienced was my bike being stolen from my garden because I didn't lock it up ;(.
London is a fairly busy place, and has areas that are quite deprived so will inevitably suffer from crime but it really isn't that deep. Apart from the phone snatchers, I do feel fairly safe in London. The UCL campus, and surrounding areas are also always incredibly busy so apart from potential pickpocketing and phone theft, I highly doubt you'll experience any violent crime etc.
People from across the globe travel to London to study at UCL, and they make it out alive so I'm sure you'll live. I think that London crime is often sensationalized and made out to be worse than it actually is, but it really isn't so bad here and I honestly regret not applying to UCL for Psychology because I initially didn't want to stay in London but I have fallen back in love with my home city (I'll be attending York, instead, so quite different to London).
I did also apply for Bath, and while the city is very very nice, it is also extremely busy (on the day I went anyway) and small.
Also, I'm not sure what gender you are, but I have experienced sexual harassment here - so I'm not sure if your dad is worried about that (if you're a girl) so that MIGHT be something to look out for, but honestly women experience that across the UK so it isn't limited to London.
That's really the only bit of advice I can give - my own mother is weary of me leaving London and being so far away, but I don't think she's as worried as your dad is so she hasn't done much to try and convince me not to leave.
perhaps take a look at this article which outlines the different levels, and types of crime across unis: https://www.thecompleteuniversityguide.co.uk/student-advice/where-to-study/crime-rates-in-university-cities-and-towns
Honestly, I don't think the crime rates of bath and London are THAT different. Maybe look at the different crime rates, and show him those. While London does have a fairly high crime rate, the rest of the UK does as well tbh. Most crime that happens in London is theft - just don't walk around with your phone out and it'll be fine. I've lived in London my whole life, and I attended a college near UCL during A levels and apart from a bike accessory being stolen 🗿 (outside my college, near UCL) I've had no other issues in that area. Within my local area - the only crime I've experienced was my bike being stolen from my garden because I didn't lock it up ;(.
London is a fairly busy place, and has areas that are quite deprived so will inevitably suffer from crime but it really isn't that deep. Apart from the phone snatchers, I do feel fairly safe in London. The UCL campus, and surrounding areas are also always incredibly busy so apart from potential pickpocketing and phone theft, I highly doubt you'll experience any violent crime etc.
People from across the globe travel to London to study at UCL, and they make it out alive so I'm sure you'll live. I think that London crime is often sensationalized and made out to be worse than it actually is, but it really isn't so bad here and I honestly regret not applying to UCL for Psychology because I initially didn't want to stay in London but I have fallen back in love with my home city (I'll be attending York, instead, so quite different to London).
I did also apply for Bath, and while the city is very very nice, it is also extremely busy (on the day I went anyway) and small.
Also, I'm not sure what gender you are, but I have experienced sexual harassment here - so I'm not sure if your dad is worried about that (if you're a girl) so that MIGHT be something to look out for, but honestly women experience that across the UK so it isn't limited to London.
That's really the only bit of advice I can give - my own mother is weary of me leaving London and being so far away, but I don't think she's as worried as your dad is so she hasn't done much to try and convince me not to leave.
perhaps take a look at this article which outlines the different levels, and types of crime across unis: https://www.thecompleteuniversityguide.co.uk/student-advice/where-to-study/crime-rates-in-university-cities-and-towns
Reply 2
Original post
by PrettyMaryKayI mean like, he can't legally nor physically stop you from going to London. It may cause a slight rift in the relationship with him, but you'll have to deal with that when it happens. He'll have to get over it eventually, and I think it's better you have a minor falling out with him than regret where you study for the next 4/5 years.
Honestly, I don't think the crime rates of bath and London are THAT different. Maybe look at the different crime rates, and show him those. While London does have a fairly high crime rate, the rest of the UK does as well tbh. Most crime that happens in London is theft - just don't walk around with your phone out and it'll be fine. I've lived in London my whole life, and I attended a college near UCL during A levels and apart from a bike accessory being stolen 🗿 (outside my college, near UCL) I've had no other issues in that area. Within my local area - the only crime I've experienced was my bike being stolen from my garden because I didn't lock it up ;(.
London is a fairly busy place, and has areas that are quite deprived so will inevitably suffer from crime but it really isn't that deep. Apart from the phone snatchers, I do feel fairly safe in London. The UCL campus, and surrounding areas are also always incredibly busy so apart from potential pickpocketing and phone theft, I highly doubt you'll experience any violent crime etc.
People from across the globe travel to London to study at UCL, and they make it out alive so I'm sure you'll live. I think that London crime is often sensationalized and made out to be worse than it actually is, but it really isn't so bad here and I honestly regret not applying to UCL for Psychology because I initially didn't want to stay in London but I have fallen back in love with my home city (I'll be attending York, instead, so quite different to London).
I did also apply for Bath, and while the city is very very nice, it is also extremely busy (on the day I went anyway) and small.
Also, I'm not sure what gender you are, but I have experienced sexual harassment here - so I'm not sure if your dad is worried about that (if you're a girl) so that MIGHT be something to look out for, but honestly women experience that across the UK so it isn't limited to London.
That's really the only bit of advice I can give - my own mother is weary of me leaving London and being so far away, but I don't think she's as worried as your dad is so she hasn't done much to try and convince me not to leave.
perhaps take a look at this article which outlines the different levels, and types of crime across unis: https://www.thecompleteuniversityguide.co.uk/student-advice/where-to-study/crime-rates-in-university-cities-and-towns
Honestly, I don't think the crime rates of bath and London are THAT different. Maybe look at the different crime rates, and show him those. While London does have a fairly high crime rate, the rest of the UK does as well tbh. Most crime that happens in London is theft - just don't walk around with your phone out and it'll be fine. I've lived in London my whole life, and I attended a college near UCL during A levels and apart from a bike accessory being stolen 🗿 (outside my college, near UCL) I've had no other issues in that area. Within my local area - the only crime I've experienced was my bike being stolen from my garden because I didn't lock it up ;(.
London is a fairly busy place, and has areas that are quite deprived so will inevitably suffer from crime but it really isn't that deep. Apart from the phone snatchers, I do feel fairly safe in London. The UCL campus, and surrounding areas are also always incredibly busy so apart from potential pickpocketing and phone theft, I highly doubt you'll experience any violent crime etc.
People from across the globe travel to London to study at UCL, and they make it out alive so I'm sure you'll live. I think that London crime is often sensationalized and made out to be worse than it actually is, but it really isn't so bad here and I honestly regret not applying to UCL for Psychology because I initially didn't want to stay in London but I have fallen back in love with my home city (I'll be attending York, instead, so quite different to London).
I did also apply for Bath, and while the city is very very nice, it is also extremely busy (on the day I went anyway) and small.
Also, I'm not sure what gender you are, but I have experienced sexual harassment here - so I'm not sure if your dad is worried about that (if you're a girl) so that MIGHT be something to look out for, but honestly women experience that across the UK so it isn't limited to London.
That's really the only bit of advice I can give - my own mother is weary of me leaving London and being so far away, but I don't think she's as worried as your dad is so she hasn't done much to try and convince me not to leave.
perhaps take a look at this article which outlines the different levels, and types of crime across unis: https://www.thecompleteuniversityguide.co.uk/student-advice/where-to-study/crime-rates-in-university-cities-and-towns
Hi, thanks for responding, i will definitely show him those statistics are try to convince him. I am a girl and i do think that's a big part of why he is so scared.
I am not scared and i really want to go, so he'll just have to deal with it.
thank you, congrats on going to York 😊
Reply 3
Hi, female UCL student here.
I come from a London borough so I actually had a slightly different problem with my own dad. I wanted UCL because the course was basically my dream course and he wanted me to go to my second choice, Edinburgh, to get out of London. Now I’ve almost completed my degree and he still tells me I should’ve chosen Edinburgh but I don’t regret my choice at all.
Having lived near the campus (which is likely where you’d be especially during first year) I can honestly say it wasn’t too bad.
The main thing is that being a very busy area you just have to be more aware of your surroundings e.g. pickpockets, cyclists etc. If you’re in student accommodation of any kind that definitely helps with safety. I’ve had many a late night study session on campus and made it home fine. If there’s an area of campus you’re allowed to be at a certain time there will be security.
Most of the main safety concerns with London, like any place, can be handled by just being aware that they are concerns and acting on that. Hold your phone tight and keep it in your pocket as much as possible. If you’re out late drinking/clubbing go home with your friends/the people you came with.
I’ve had three good years at UCL and loved it. It was a great experience and it wasn’t that affected by London being London. Ultimately it is your choice and it is your future if UCL is what you want then go for it.
I come from a London borough so I actually had a slightly different problem with my own dad. I wanted UCL because the course was basically my dream course and he wanted me to go to my second choice, Edinburgh, to get out of London. Now I’ve almost completed my degree and he still tells me I should’ve chosen Edinburgh but I don’t regret my choice at all.
Having lived near the campus (which is likely where you’d be especially during first year) I can honestly say it wasn’t too bad.
The main thing is that being a very busy area you just have to be more aware of your surroundings e.g. pickpockets, cyclists etc. If you’re in student accommodation of any kind that definitely helps with safety. I’ve had many a late night study session on campus and made it home fine. If there’s an area of campus you’re allowed to be at a certain time there will be security.
Most of the main safety concerns with London, like any place, can be handled by just being aware that they are concerns and acting on that. Hold your phone tight and keep it in your pocket as much as possible. If you’re out late drinking/clubbing go home with your friends/the people you came with.
I’ve had three good years at UCL and loved it. It was a great experience and it wasn’t that affected by London being London. Ultimately it is your choice and it is your future if UCL is what you want then go for it.
Reply 4
I'd second the suggestion to use university accommodation if you can. It may even help your dad to look at the accom profiles.
I also second that theft will be the main thing but you wouldn't need any extra special precautions, just your usual don't have your phone out on the street etc.
I also second that theft will be the main thing but you wouldn't need any extra special precautions, just your usual don't have your phone out on the street etc.
Original post
by Littleturtle3Hi, i am a 2025 applicant in the UK and i have received all my offers for architecture and i have narrowed my decisions down to UCL and Bath. The issue here is, that i already know that i really want to go to UCL. (I like Bath too, it just doesn't make me feel as excited to go to university as UCL does).
The problem is that i live outside of London in a small town and my dad is extremely anxious about my living in London as he thinks its too dangerous, i don't really agree with this as i think it depends on the area of London you are in and Bloomsbury does not seem that bad.
Should i let this effect my decision?
I know that this is not a super typical question about unis but i was wondering if anyone else had gone through a similar situation with their parents and what they ended up doing about it?
The problem is that i live outside of London in a small town and my dad is extremely anxious about my living in London as he thinks its too dangerous, i don't really agree with this as i think it depends on the area of London you are in and Bloomsbury does not seem that bad.
Should i let this effect my decision?
I know that this is not a super typical question about unis but i was wondering if anyone else had gone through a similar situation with their parents and what they ended up doing about it?
To provide some more context the area UCL is in (at least the "main" chunk of the campus) is very central, very upscale, and also surrounded by other universities (SOAS, Birkbeck, down the road LSE...) and major institutions (e.g. the British Museum, the British Library) and a big hospital.
If you're wandering around drunk off your face after dark and make yourself an easy target then you may well be the victim of crime but that's true of any city in the UK. I've never felt particularly unsafe around UCL (in terms of crime - in terms of traffic and the insane London cyclists on the other hand...), even in the evenings when I was staying near there and had to pop out to buy something from Lidl or whatever.
Note that UCL and Bath have extremely different architecture courses - UCL is very "arty"/conceptual whereas Bath is very technical. I would focus on these differences in making a decision.
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 6
I think parents worrying about their kids leaving home for the 'big city' is v common, just varies how they deal with it.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Parents want me to change unis
- Is £50 a week a reasonable rent to charge your adult child?
- Cycling Mikey
- Should i go to a uni far away
- Post-16 Education
- my dad said kpop wasnt real music
- Applying for college
- Parents not letting me use trust fund on a car
- (quite a long paragraph sorry) what should I do :(
- My parents don’t want me to go far for uni. What do I do?
- my bf addicted to weed/vapes and i hate it
- Friends? :)
- Sixth form choice (London)
- being alone
- Living solo at 16
- What should I do?? (vent)
- I’m not impressed by your grades if you go to private school RANT
- Parent moving to uni with me?
- Someone wanted me to boycott this place
- Blush, Bills & Boundaries - A self-care and wellness blog
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 weeks ago
Official University College London 2025 Applicant ThreadUniversity College London
368
1022
Last reply 7 months ago
Anyone received an offer for UCL Cognitive Neuroscience MScLast reply 9 months ago
How long does it take to get allocated accomodation at UCL?
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
