someone give this a quick mark out of 40!!

A deep fog seemed to settle across the row of dilapidated council houses, encasing the roofs with its silken hands. The sun seemed to be strangled within the thick smog, fighting for its life to shine light toward the Earth, until it retreated in defeat, aware that the smoke was a stronger opponent. What was originally restricted between the row of the crumbling townhouses, now seemed to spread - a pathogen travelling through every crack and crevice of the human cells till the victim felt consumed by illness.
I stared above, staring from the cracked window in the bottom floor, the steaming red cup in my hand insulating the air around me; It had only been a day since I had moved in, the interior of my rather dilapidated home filled with towering boxes of cardboard. My left eye twitched - something I had commonly noticed had started happening to me ever since I had moved into the area. I sighed, glancing towards the discarded tablet film on the floor. I hated the powdery feel of my allergy tablets, yet they were my only chance against submission to the hellish pollen. I was glad I hadn't mentioned this to my mother - she was forever preaching the old-wives tales she used to hear as a child, and I could foreshadow the words that would come out of her mouth if I mentioned my twitching eye.
'Hija, es un mal augurio' - I could hear my mother's chiding voice ring in my ears. I let out a small chuckle, and continued to look at the rather distasteful surroundings. The fog had really seemed to spread.
Was there a fire? The sky seemed sullen, swelling with grey clouds, swirling with grey smoke. Blindly, I brought the steaming cup to my lips, attempting to take a sip of the steaming concoction of black coffee - unfortunately, cream was a luxury that I could no longer afford with my starved paycheck. My fingers fumbled with the thin handle of the cup and it slipped.
Momentarily lost, I didn't register the spilt liquid, and stared with dumfounded shock at the hot liquid that steamed against my bare feet. The cup smashed against the ground, its fragments laden across the flooring, and pinching my skin. I yelled, jumping, late to register the damage that I had done.
I sighed - the small shards of glass seemed to have pierced deep within my skin, as small drops of blood began to emerge on the surface. I removed my foot from the target area, and stepped to the side, shaking my feet to shake off the shards as much as possible. I winced, as I wore my slippers, and walked across from the window to the doorway to the living room. It seemed best to buy a dustpan from the nearby shop - though the weather seemed to send a silent warning at me to stay inside.
As I stepped out into the barren estate, with the discarded aluminium cans, and the outgrown weeds, I shook my head to myself - though I was lucky enough to have even found an area to be housed in, something about the way the atmosphere was always dullish, as though chidden of the sun, seemed to irk me.
The same tarmac path elongated towards the shop. The skies hadn't seemed to clear since I had been standing at my windowsill - it felt oddly suffocating, the thick air scratching at my throat. The surroundings didn't seem to change - there was an omnipresence of something strangely paranormal. The silence of the area was strange - a contrast to the rowdy surroundings of my old neighbourhood. The trees seemed to crouch against each other, creating an arch of dry, and thirsting foliage. The entire area was starved of life and water.
Reaching the curb before the shop, I was momentarily reminded of the small pieces of glass encrusting my foot, and winced. I looked towards the ground, made aware of the problem that had been neglected in the back of my mind, and hurriedly limped around the corner. The small 24-hour shop was situated in the corner, and did not stand out amongst its surroundings - it was engulfed in vulgar graffiti, similar to many of the buildings in the estate.
still in progress - mark me ai marked this much as 36/40 but idk how accurate it is lolll any comments appreciated!