how do i ask him if we're serious?
hii!
i am six months into a relationship with my boyfriend (hes 26 im 24). I am off to uni soon, and he is working full time. We dont see each other often, and it is clear he's stressed with work. He's muslim Im not. I dont feel like a priority to him because of a variety of factors, i think his family know about me but he doesnt talk about it often, while i talk to my parents about him. He isnt super strict religiously (he had sex with other women before) so im hoping us dating isnt against his parents' wishes, which is why he maybe doesnt talk about me to them.
I know im off to uni soon, but I feel comfy enough moving in with him, i want to see him more often and talk loads more, but im scared he isnt taking me seriously, we have had a few chats about how i feel upset that we dont get time together, and he keeps saying things will get better. he says he wants to travel with me. but i still have trust issues because of cancelled plans and lack of interest he shows.
How do I ask him if we're serious? Its not like im asking him to marry me, but i want to know if I am serious to him and if he truly sees me as important to him, because i do not feel it just because we dont spend much time together and he doesnt arrange dates. I literaly tell him I will meet him after his work (an hour away for me) to just have a meal or something and he always says hes just too tired, too tired to even see me? it ****es me off and upsets me, so i want to know if i am serious to him! the first month was amazing, he always set up dates and flirted with me. Now it feels so stale.
i am six months into a relationship with my boyfriend (hes 26 im 24). I am off to uni soon, and he is working full time. We dont see each other often, and it is clear he's stressed with work. He's muslim Im not. I dont feel like a priority to him because of a variety of factors, i think his family know about me but he doesnt talk about it often, while i talk to my parents about him. He isnt super strict religiously (he had sex with other women before) so im hoping us dating isnt against his parents' wishes, which is why he maybe doesnt talk about me to them.
I know im off to uni soon, but I feel comfy enough moving in with him, i want to see him more often and talk loads more, but im scared he isnt taking me seriously, we have had a few chats about how i feel upset that we dont get time together, and he keeps saying things will get better. he says he wants to travel with me. but i still have trust issues because of cancelled plans and lack of interest he shows.
How do I ask him if we're serious? Its not like im asking him to marry me, but i want to know if I am serious to him and if he truly sees me as important to him, because i do not feel it just because we dont spend much time together and he doesnt arrange dates. I literaly tell him I will meet him after his work (an hour away for me) to just have a meal or something and he always says hes just too tired, too tired to even see me? it ****es me off and upsets me, so i want to know if i am serious to him! the first month was amazing, he always set up dates and flirted with me. Now it feels so stale.
Reply 1
do you kiss him or had sex with him
Reply 2
Original post
by Anonymousdo you kiss him or had sex with him
because thta shows how serious you guys are
Reply 3
Original post
by Anonymousbecause thta shows how serious you guys are
we kiss and we've made out intensly before, but we dont have the chance to have sex
Reply 4
Original post
by Anonymoushii!
i am six months into a relationship with my boyfriend (hes 26 im 24). I am off to uni soon, and he is working full time. We dont see each other often, and it is clear he's stressed with work. He's muslim Im not. I dont feel like a priority to him because of a variety of factors, i think his family know about me but he doesnt talk about it often, while i talk to my parents about him. He isnt super strict religiously (he had sex with other women before) so im hoping us dating isnt against his parents' wishes, which is why he maybe doesnt talk about me to them.
I know im off to uni soon, but I feel comfy enough moving in with him, i want to see him more often and talk loads more, but im scared he isnt taking me seriously, we have had a few chats about how i feel upset that we dont get time together, and he keeps saying things will get better. he says he wants to travel with me. but i still have trust issues because of cancelled plans and lack of interest he shows.
How do I ask him if we're serious? Its not like im asking him to marry me, but i want to know if I am serious to him and if he truly sees me as important to him, because i do not feel it just because we dont spend much time together and he doesnt arrange dates. I literaly tell him I will meet him after his work (an hour away for me) to just have a meal or something and he always says hes just too tired, too tired to even see me? it ****es me off and upsets me, so i want to know if i am serious to him! the first month was amazing, he always set up dates and flirted with me. Now it feels so stale.
i am six months into a relationship with my boyfriend (hes 26 im 24). I am off to uni soon, and he is working full time. We dont see each other often, and it is clear he's stressed with work. He's muslim Im not. I dont feel like a priority to him because of a variety of factors, i think his family know about me but he doesnt talk about it often, while i talk to my parents about him. He isnt super strict religiously (he had sex with other women before) so im hoping us dating isnt against his parents' wishes, which is why he maybe doesnt talk about me to them.
I know im off to uni soon, but I feel comfy enough moving in with him, i want to see him more often and talk loads more, but im scared he isnt taking me seriously, we have had a few chats about how i feel upset that we dont get time together, and he keeps saying things will get better. he says he wants to travel with me. but i still have trust issues because of cancelled plans and lack of interest he shows.
How do I ask him if we're serious? Its not like im asking him to marry me, but i want to know if I am serious to him and if he truly sees me as important to him, because i do not feel it just because we dont spend much time together and he doesnt arrange dates. I literaly tell him I will meet him after his work (an hour away for me) to just have a meal or something and he always says hes just too tired, too tired to even see me? it ****es me off and upsets me, so i want to know if i am serious to him! the first month was amazing, he always set up dates and flirted with me. Now it feels so stale.
Best thing to do is sit down with him and ask him how he feels about being in a relationship with you 😞 ❤️. Good communication is good 😊 in any relationship and discuss eachother issues and see if you can resolve anything with talking about it.
He is perhaps just taking more time with you to see if both of yous are going to have a long term relationship together before sleeping with you 💓 💓 💓 ,
You can have a good time staying in as don't have to go out but yeah it is good to actually have a meal out or go to see a movie 🍿 🎥 or even a few drinks 🍷 🍷 down at local pub 🍻. That's why you have to talk with him about it okay.
Trusting each other is a massive thing in a relationship ❤️ so making sure you have time to talk about anything, discuss financial issues, holiday etc etc is important ☺️.
You said you have trust issue with him due to cancellation of prior arrangements and not showing much interest in you 😞 😞 😞 reasons why you need to talk to him about things and if you still have any doubts about him after talking together about it then perhaps you better without him and move on...... That's something you can only decide.
Do you feel he's perhaps seeing someone else behind your back with you having the trust issue with him and cancelling stuff 😔 😭 😭.... Or is it just him not wanting you but find it hard to tell you and just keep having excuses.........
You both definitely need to talk about each other families and introduce yourselves to one another family and see what reactions are afterwards.
Have a very good talk about things with him and resolve it once and for all.
Reply 5
that is very true as you need to have a open and honest relation and need to trust with one another as if you do nto have trust then you have nothing at all. you may never know he could be scared as he might want to move foward but might not be brave enough to do it
Reply 6
also serious relationships take time to build
Reply 7
Original post
by Anonymouswe kiss and we've made out intensly before, but we dont have the chance to have sex
I don't want to be pessimistic, but if the problems with him making time for you are so significant that you haven't had the time to have sex, how do you see things improving on that front once you go to university? At six months you should still very much be in the honeymoon phase of this relationship. It's far too early to him to be annoying you because he can't make time for you. Even if he says this is serious and he'll make more time, where is the evidence that he wants to or is capable of doing that? Seems to me like even if he says it's serious, he hasn't done anything to make you think that's genuine. Actions speak far louder than words this early on, and I'm not sure you've seen the actions to justify being in a relationship with him at all if I'm perfectly honest.
Reply 8
Original post
by Crazy JamieI don't want to be pessimistic, but if the problems with him making time for you are so significant that you haven't had the time to have sex, how do you see things improving on that front once you go to university? At six months you should still very much be in the honeymoon phase of this relationship. It's far too early to him to be annoying you because he can't make time for you. Even if he says this is serious and he'll make more time, where is the evidence that he wants to or is capable of doing that? Seems to me like even if he says it's serious, he hasn't done anything to make you think that's genuine. Actions speak far louder than words this early on, and I'm not sure you've seen the actions to justify being in a relationship with him at all if I'm perfectly honest.
he did see me twice on my bday week, and got me lots of thoughtful gifts, and ive seen firsthand how bad his work currently is. I just dont know if thats all thats wrong, if he genuienely does want to see me, or hes just leading me on. Hes a hard guy to read.
and i dont care about sex, I do want flirting and romance of course, and make out sessions with him are amazing, but we cant just book a hotel or have sex in one of our houses when we live with parents. Its impractical.
Reply 9
i just dont know how to bring this up to him, and i dont want to be a burden and push him away from me.
Reply 10
Original post
by Anonymoushe did see me twice on my bday week, and got me lots of thoughtful gifts, and ive seen firsthand how bad his work currently is. I just dont know if thats all thats wrong, if he genuienely does want to see me, or hes just leading me on. Hes a hard guy to read.
and i dont care about sex, I do want flirting and romance of course, and make out sessions with him are amazing, but we cant just book a hotel or have sex in one of our houses when we live with parents. Its impractical.
and i dont care about sex, I do want flirting and romance of course, and make out sessions with him are amazing, but we cant just book a hotel or have sex in one of our houses when we live with parents. Its impractical.
Original post
by Anonymousi just dont know how to bring this up to him, and i dont want to be a burden and push him away from me.
It's not being a burden to raise entirely legitimate concerns about the amount of time that you spend together and whether or not you are a priority for him or not, particularly when all of that is quite rightly bothering you. I'd question whether or not it really is as impractical to have sex as you say, but if it's not a priority for you then that's neither here nor there. The other things you've raised are genuine concerns, though, and as I say, it's pretty unusual to have these sorts of issues this early in a relationship. It really does suggest that either he's not prioritising you properly, or he's not in a place where he's ready for a relationship at the moment. I understand someone being busy with work, but to the extent that these issues have arisen over a period of six months? I struggle to see how it is that work is the only explanation there, and I think it's entirely reasonable of you to raise it with him.
The way you raise it is to say that you're going to university soon, and you're concerned about where this relationship might be going in light of the fact that you don't see each other a lot and at times it doesn't feel to you like you're a priority for him. Gauge his reaction to that, have a conversation about it and go from there. Frankly if that sort of conversation pushes him away, that's a pretty clear indication in and of itself that this relationship doesn't have a future. I would trust your instincts on this and don't stay in this relationship just because it's the status quo. You deserve to be with someone who prioritises you more than this. That can be him, but he doesn't give you confidence that it will be, just move on.
Reply 11
Original post
by Anonymoushii!
i am six months into a relationship with my boyfriend (hes 26 im 24). I am off to uni soon, and he is working full time. We dont see each other often, and it is clear he's stressed with work. He's muslim Im not. I dont feel like a priority to him because of a variety of factors, i think his family know about me but he doesnt talk about it often, while i talk to my parents about him. He isnt super strict religiously (he had sex with other women before) so im hoping us dating isnt against his parents' wishes, which is why he maybe doesnt talk about me to them.
I know im off to uni soon, but I feel comfy enough moving in with him, i want to see him more often and talk loads more, but im scared he isnt taking me seriously, we have had a few chats about how i feel upset that we dont get time together, and he keeps saying things will get better. he says he wants to travel with me. but i still have trust issues because of cancelled plans and lack of interest he shows.
How do I ask him if we're serious? Its not like im asking him to marry me, but i want to know if I am serious to him and if he truly sees me as important to him, because i do not feel it just because we dont spend much time together and he doesnt arrange dates. I literaly tell him I will meet him after his work (an hour away for me) to just have a meal or something and he always says hes just too tired, too tired to even see me? it ****es me off and upsets me, so i want to know if i am serious to him! the first month was amazing, he always set up dates and flirted with me. Now it feels so stale.
i am six months into a relationship with my boyfriend (hes 26 im 24). I am off to uni soon, and he is working full time. We dont see each other often, and it is clear he's stressed with work. He's muslim Im not. I dont feel like a priority to him because of a variety of factors, i think his family know about me but he doesnt talk about it often, while i talk to my parents about him. He isnt super strict religiously (he had sex with other women before) so im hoping us dating isnt against his parents' wishes, which is why he maybe doesnt talk about me to them.
I know im off to uni soon, but I feel comfy enough moving in with him, i want to see him more often and talk loads more, but im scared he isnt taking me seriously, we have had a few chats about how i feel upset that we dont get time together, and he keeps saying things will get better. he says he wants to travel with me. but i still have trust issues because of cancelled plans and lack of interest he shows.
How do I ask him if we're serious? Its not like im asking him to marry me, but i want to know if I am serious to him and if he truly sees me as important to him, because i do not feel it just because we dont spend much time together and he doesnt arrange dates. I literaly tell him I will meet him after his work (an hour away for me) to just have a meal or something and he always says hes just too tired, too tired to even see me? it ****es me off and upsets me, so i want to know if i am serious to him! the first month was amazing, he always set up dates and flirted with me. Now it feels so stale.
what do you do when you makeout
Reply 12
Original post
by Anonymouswhat do you do when you makeout
as is it often or not also you shouldnt be scared for asking about hiw far you are with him .
Reply 13
Yes, I’d just have to agree that he doesn’t seem to be making the relationship much of a priority now.
If he doesn’t have capacity to have a conversation about it, then it’s going to be a struggle for you both.
If he doesn’t have capacity to have a conversation about it, then it’s going to be a struggle for you both.
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