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failing exam on purpose because of parents

so i take physics, maths computer science and further maths, i have been trying to revise for the past 2 months because i have my ucas mocks coming up and i need an A*A*AA because i want to apply to places like imperial and cambridge, and the thing is i know i can get the grades and i just need a little support from my parents but the thing is they just dont care. I am someone who revises for a long period of time and takes short breaks because thats the only way i can revise, but my parents dont understand that, everytime i try to revise and i mean everytime, my mom yells for me to do something, my mom never went to sixth form and didnt persue higher education, she comes from a developing country in Africa and had to quit school to make money for her and her family and because of that, all she knows is how to cook and take care of ones family but now she is trying to push her beliefs unto me that studying wont get you anywhere and that a woman needs to know how to cook, take care of her family and clean, i am the only one in my household who cleans, like the bathroom, im always washing dishes because im supposedly the familys dishwasher, im always cleaning my living room basically my whole house, and the only thing i dont do it cook because i know the moment i learn to do that, everything will be put on me to do, im also forced to take care of my little brother whos suffering form developmental issues so even when im not doing chores, im playing babysitter and its mentally draining cause hes either causing trouble, yelling screaming throwing stuff wetting everywhere but its always me who has to take care of everything. my dad is another case, he did a degree and masters and so he knows how important it is, he at times defends me when my mom starts her nonsense, but he is the worse of them all, he knows how important all this is to me so he plays white knight until something goes wrong in the house, if there's a spot i forgot to clean or if my siblings cause i mess he berates me, sais whatever he wants calls me names and stuff and always puts me down and he gets mad over the smallest things, even if im studying for an important test or anything like that, i have to put everything aside and go do what they want and its truly unfair because im the only one they do this to. its like the moment they sense that im trying to do something to better my life, they always want to do something to bring me down and my mom once said something that confirmed all of this. I have been trying my hardest to revise for the past 2 months, its now 16 days to my mocks, i know how much of an improvement i can make but with all this going on i think my grades may drop but even so i want to show them that they have caused all of this, i plan not to write anything for the papers im given and submit them blankly and i plan to use all of that against them, i know my teachers will raise eyebrows at all of this because my grades have been ranging froms As and Bs so they will question everything and also bring my parents in and thats what i want to happen, also luckily for maths, the teachers allow students who have failed or gotten a low mark when they believe can do well a retest and thats why im not too worried about this but even if thats not possible, ill just try harder for alevels and wont even bother myself showing up at home because i would be 18 then, so is it right for me to do all of this? sorry for spelling mistakes, im just too upset whilst writing this, im legit crying and shi

edit - im still revising on the side, im using every chance i can get to do that
(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 1

Original post
by Bluelilies
so i take physics, maths computer science and further maths, i have been trying to revise for the past 2 months because i have my ucas mocks coming up and i need an A*A*AA because i want to apply to places like imperial and cambridge, and the thing is i know i can get the grades and i just need a little support from my parents but the thing is they just dont care. I am someone who revises for a long period of time and takes short breaks because thats the only way i can revise, but my parents dont understand that, everytime i try to revise and i mean everytime, my mom yells for me to do something, my mom never went to sixth form and didnt persue higher education, she comes from a developing country in Africa and had to quit school to make money for her and her family and because of that, all she knows is how to cook and take care of ones family but now she is trying to push her beliefs unto me that studying wont get you anywhere and that a woman needs to know how to cook, take care of her family and clean, i am the only one in my household who cleans, like the bathroom, im always washing dishes because im supposedly the familys dishwasher, im always cleaning my living room basically my whole house, and the only thing i dont do it cook because i know the moment i learn to do that, everything will be put on me to do, im also forced to take care of my little brother whos suffering form developmental issues so even when im not doing chores, im playing babysitter and its mentally draining cause hes either causing trouble, yelling screaming throwing stuff wetting everywhere but its always me who has to take care of everything. my dad is another case, he did a degree and masters and so he knows how important it is, he at times defends me when my mom starts her nonsense, but he is the worse of them all, he knows how important all this is to me so he plays white knight until something goes wrong in the house, if there's a spot i forgot to clean or if my siblings cause i mess he berates me, sais whatever he wants calls me names and stuff and always puts me down and he gets mad over the smallest things, even if im studying for an important test or anything like that, i have to put everything aside and go do what they want and its truly unfair because im the only one they do this to. its like the moment they sense that im trying to do something to better my life, they always want to do something to bring me down and my mom once said something that confirmed all of this. I have been trying my hardest to revise for the past 2 months, its now 16 days to my mocks, i know how much of an improvement i can make but with all this going on i think my grades may drop but even so i want to show them that they have caused all of this, i plan not to write anything for the papers im given and submit them blankly and i plan to use all of that against them, i know my teachers will raise eyebrows at all of this because my grades have been ranging froms As and Bs so they will question everything and also bring my parents in and thats what i want to happen, also luckily for maths, the teachers allow students who have failed or gotten a low mark when they believe can do well a retest and thats why im not too worried about this but even if thats not possible, ill just try harder for alevels and wont even bother myself showing up at home because i would be 18 then, so is it right for me to do all of this? sorry for spelling mistakes, im just too upset whilst writing this, im legit crying and shi
edit - im still revising on the side, im using every chance i can get to do that


I’m sorry your going through all this and it must be be very frustrating. Although i get where you’re coming from, failing your mocks and not writing anything on your papers will only affect you, not your parents. it’s your life and in the future you will probably regret this decision when applying to unis. try to work hard and not let your anger get the best of you, i know your smart and will do well! just keep working hard 🩷

Reply 2

best of luck!

Reply 3

Original post
by Bluelilies
so i take physics, maths computer science and further maths, i have been trying to revise for the past 2 months because i have my ucas mocks coming up and i need an A*A*AA because i want to apply to places like imperial and cambridge, and the thing is i know i can get the grades and i just need a little support from my parents but the thing is they just dont care. I am someone who revises for a long period of time and takes short breaks because thats the only way i can revise, but my parents dont understand that, everytime i try to revise and i mean everytime, my mom yells for me to do something, my mom never went to sixth form and didnt persue higher education, she comes from a developing country in Africa and had to quit school to make money for her and her family and because of that, all she knows is how to cook and take care of ones family but now she is trying to push her beliefs unto me that studying wont get you anywhere and that a woman needs to know how to cook, take care of her family and clean, i am the only one in my household who cleans, like the bathroom, im always washing dishes because im supposedly the familys dishwasher, im always cleaning my living room basically my whole house, and the only thing i dont do it cook because i know the moment i learn to do that, everything will be put on me to do, im also forced to take care of my little brother whos suffering form developmental issues so even when im not doing chores, im playing babysitter and its mentally draining cause hes either causing trouble, yelling screaming throwing stuff wetting everywhere but its always me who has to take care of everything. my dad is another case, he did a degree and masters and so he knows how important it is, he at times defends me when my mom starts her nonsense, but he is the worse of them all, he knows how important all this is to me so he plays white knight until something goes wrong in the house, if there's a spot i forgot to clean or if my siblings cause i mess he berates me, sais whatever he wants calls me names and stuff and always puts me down and he gets mad over the smallest things, even if im studying for an important test or anything like that, i have to put everything aside and go do what they want and its truly unfair because im the only one they do this to. its like the moment they sense that im trying to do something to better my life, they always want to do something to bring me down and my mom once said something that confirmed all of this. I have been trying my hardest to revise for the past 2 months, its now 16 days to my mocks, i know how much of an improvement i can make but with all this going on i think my grades may drop but even so i want to show them that they have caused all of this, i plan not to write anything for the papers im given and submit them blankly and i plan to use all of that against them, i know my teachers will raise eyebrows at all of this because my grades have been ranging froms As and Bs so they will question everything and also bring my parents in and thats what i want to happen, also luckily for maths, the teachers allow students who have failed or gotten a low mark when they believe can do well a retest and thats why im not too worried about this but even if thats not possible, ill just try harder for alevels and wont even bother myself showing up at home because i would be 18 then, so is it right for me to do all of this? sorry for spelling mistakes, im just too upset whilst writing this, im legit crying and shi
edit - im still revising on the side, im using every chance i can get to do that

Have you spoken to your parents about wanting their support and your goals to revise more and achieve better results? If not, and you're feeling worried, it's definitely worth trying, even a small conversation like that can make a big difference. I understand how difficult it can be when your mum sticks to traditional beliefs, I was raised in a similar environment. But that doesn’t mean you should give up or stop pushing for what you believe in. You're doing amazing so far, so don’t let this stop you. Also mock exams are important because they help you figure out what universities might offer you a place. They also give you a chance to see whether your revision techniques are working. I don’t think it’s a good idea to ignore this mock as it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.
Don’t be worried. Just give it your best. If it doesn’t go well, that’s okay, it’s only a mock and not the real thing. What matters is that you keep trying, and with the effort you're putting in, I really believe your mum will eventually see how serious and important this is to you.
Also, how did you do in your GCSEs?

Reply 4

I've got a better plan for you.

Do as well as you can for your mocks.
Explain your situations to your teachers / head of year / head teacher. And ask them to give you 2 reports. Your actual grades, which they give to you and any uni you apply to. A false report saying you failed the exams - or whatever you want it to say - that you present to your parents.

You should start cooking. And doing the food shopping. Start after your mocks are over and put cooking on the back burner when you're busy academically, eg revising for actual A levels.
The aim is to prepare yourself for adult life. Because after your A levels are over you want to move out. And never live full time with your parents again.

Just imagine. The first day at uni (or at work - which might be a better option than uni, depending on you and what sort of career path you're looking at) and you're by far the best cook in your kitchen in Halls. With that being just one aspect of how you'll be a fully functioning adult instead of a child that's gone to uni.

You're going through hardship now, compared to a lot of 6th formers. This hardship is moulding you into a great adult.

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