i cant stop feeling lonely

ive just finished secondary school, im 17, I have a good best friend, and a bigger friend group that i see from time to time. But why do i still always feel lonely?
at the start of secondary I only really had 2 friends and they were always together but never hung out with me outside of school. thats when i first experienced true loneliness.
a few years later our friend group got bigger and I made my first friend that i would see regularly outside of school.
I was always extremely quiet and anxious in classes unless my friends were there.
and now as i reflect on school coming to an end i feel a pit in my stomach, I feel like I missed out.
none of my friends are big party people but recently there was a massive year group party and some of them were invited whilst i didn’t even know it was happening, they keep talking abt it and i cant help but to feel like i did at the start of school again, left out and miserable.
any advice would be appreciated

Reply 1

Lala_rocks

4

Original post

by Anonymous

ive just finished secondary school, im 17, I have a good best friend, and a bigger friend group that i see from time to time. But why do i still always feel lonely?
at the start of secondary I only really had 2 friends and they were always together but never hung out with me outside of school. thats when i first experienced true loneliness.
a few years later our friend group got bigger and I made my first friend that i would see regularly outside of school.
I was always extremely quiet and anxious in classes unless my friends were there.
and now as i reflect on school coming to an end i feel a pit in my stomach, I feel like I missed out.
none of my friends are big party people but recently there was a massive year group party and some of them were invited whilst i didn’t even know it was happening, they keep talking abt it and i cant help but to feel like i did at the start of school again, left out and miserable.
any advice would be appreciated

I’ve felt like this a lot . In secondary school my friendship group would pick on me for I was an easy target. I was outgoing and could start a conversation with anyone. I was school council president and my headteacher and head of year loved me . I was an average student not excellent grade but not out standing . So I took advantage of my personality being the outgoing one and the easy to talk too. It made me an easy target for them year 10-11 . When I made a joke they laugh at me and side eye saying “ your not even funny relax” they’d tell me I do the most I make a comment. But I was just being myself . There were time when I would ask them “do you want to go to the library to study” they’d say no but I see them at the library and going out for a meal on their stories right after I ask on them . That when I had an epiphany and realised my self confidence is frightening, and my love for myself was high . I told myself that these people are not my forever friends and acted so unbothered when they did things together. I knew that I was better and let me tell you the day you start to feel conceited is the day you start attracting the right people . Obviously people don’t like arrogant self absorbed people . However thinking your a bit better than them helps . You start thinking “lol their going out there how boring I would of went there instead” and not only that you start smiling at the satisfaction that your more mature . Being unbothered is so powerful . I remember I had these separate group of friends that started because of me they started to leave me out and when I started to act unbothered it’s ****ed them of . I started making comments like “ uh work is so jarring but Yunno got to get my money up🤧” they just be looking at you in awe like wtf this girl got her shiiiii together “help me get a job ☹️” . One core moment was my birthday . I told them that I booked an Airbnb and it would be for 2 night . They started getting ready and last minute I was like “sorry I think I’m going to stick to a girls night with my sisters , haven’t seen them in months 🤧” and they were like “ but I really wanted to go I was ready” and I was “ sorry just miss my sisters 😢” and I know it bothered them so much . One of my friends told that my other friend said “ xxxx thinks she’s better , acting all bougie” heck Yas biatch I am bougie . I told better than you , I act better than you , I have more class than you . And beginning of 2025 I became MIA. Meaning I never let them know what was going in my life . Never did I FaceTime or anything , and when I did I never told them my plans unless I was like “oh I got to feed my bunnies omddssss😫” they be like “bunnies !!!?! You got BUNNNIIESSS😟” “yassss biatch had them for 3 months now🤭” “wait I didn’t know you had bunnies!!??!??” . Or I be like “omg I went to see my fav celeb host at my fav club last night , immm sooooo drained 😫” “ wait you went to see DTB at the club , I thought that was our thing why didn’t you invite me !!!?😙” I be like “sorry last minute thing with my friends from colly…. Next time ok 😢” and they be like “your life is all over the place we don’t know anything about you☹️” then you’ll be 😈. Because they want to know everything about you but you say things so subtle and brush them off and now they are begging to be around you . But I always remembered they are not my forever friends more like a filler in your life , your cannon hasn’t started . Now I have friends I can trust in colly and I’m excited to go uni this year because they say that’s were you make your forever friends . I’m not mean just realistic . Your life ain’t over . Don’t let shiiiii friends get you down . You need to awaken your self love and the right people will come after you . Trust me 👁️👅👁️❤️❤️❤️❤️( sorry for bad grammar )

Reply 2

Lala_rocks

4

Remember that you need to change your mindset first

Reply 3

kgoldfalcon

10

Original post

by Anonymous

ive just finished secondary school, im 17, I have a good best friend, and a bigger friend group that i see from time to time. But why do i still always feel lonely?
at the start of secondary I only really had 2 friends and they were always together but never hung out with me outside of school. thats when i first experienced true loneliness.
a few years later our friend group got bigger and I made my first friend that i would see regularly outside of school.
I was always extremely quiet and anxious in classes unless my friends were there.
and now as i reflect on school coming to an end i feel a pit in my stomach, I feel like I missed out.
none of my friends are big party people but recently there was a massive year group party and some of them were invited whilst i didn’t even know it was happening, they keep talking abt it and i cant help but to feel like i did at the start of school again, left out and miserable.
any advice would be appreciated

You're not the only one mate - I was friends with about 3 ''actual'' friends and the rest were...i would say acquaintances that come and go but i didn't decide that until last year (i finished GCSEs last year) and now in college in which that group of secondary/high school friends have become definitely 3 (BUT i have new friends with more accurate interests to me in terms of academic interest/subjects) due to varying choice of A-Levels and timetable differences. I was never allowed out with friends during high school due to parents but thats okay. Being lonely is something that will develop positively into INDEPENDENCE if treated right (eg revision, personal hobbies, self care?? etc). At some points i did genially become very unsocial, especially during Summer Holidays as i never use my phone in which i got the daily ''oh he will reply in 5-7 'business' days'' 🤣. I don't work in a job by the way just a joke that my friends made about me...was very true. BUT i didnt care as many seemed to stop annoying bothering me as a was...well quite unbothered by many things.

Main point is: Don't get hung up on where you'd rather be, that you forget to make the most of where you are...LIVE A LITTLE as you have finished high school for the summer 💗💗

You can PM/DM me if you want to talk and maybe be friends. Im usually on quite often nowadays on TSR compared to my 5-7 'business day' replies haha.

Hope this is useful for you

(edited 10 months ago)

i cant stop feeling lonely

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