How to fix things with a girl when something went wrong

Basically a couple of weeks ago I asked out a girl I had a crush on at like midnight, atp we had been talking like every week for like 2 months and I thought it would be the perfect time to make my move, for context I've been friends with this girl for years, and originally she said yes, and then i was like super happy. But then a couple days later she send on whatsapp on like a 1 time message on saying how she only likes me as a friend in bold. Like and since we meet like once a month for like a get together its just been so awkward to talk to her. What should i even do

Reply 1

averageduck

Original post

by MSRK

Hello! I'm a girl so might be able to help. I'm gonna write in bullet points if that's okay with you:

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don't fall for any of that "make her jealous" crap, i.e. don't go out with other girls in spite

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do you have hope in ever dating her? If yes, hold out a bit longer with your feelings for her and do some self love like learn a skill or do running or read 1000 books

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if no/ not really then simply throw yourself into your other friends or interests and try to move on as best as you can

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let her know that it's alright she doesn't want to date you but that you'd like it if you still talked

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once you feel "over her" so to speak then you can start dating again. If you get a girlfriend then she may take this as a sign that you don't like her anymore for sure and start warming back up to you (platonically)

The main thing is that you let her know it's okay that she just wants to be friends and do this in a kind way, assuming you still want to be friends with her. Hope this helps!

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

Carry on being a good platonic friend as if you never made the pass and she never rejected you.
If she brings up the subject tell her that she's an intelligent woman and you respect her decision on this.

In parallel with this, work on becoming a more attractive man in terms of your internal world and how you speak and behave.

You should aim to have the mentality that you're delighted to have her as a purely platonic friend. And that she is a great asset to have every time you go to a social venue or social event with her. Because of the "social proof" you get by having her by your side as you enter.

You shouldn't apologise nor feel awkward about you making a pass at her. She's an attractive woman. You were honest to her how you felt. She declined your offer. That's absolutely fine. Neither of you did anything wrong. The less upset / emotional you are about her rejection, the better you'll be able to carry on as platonic friends.

There's an abundance of great women out there. Aim to get another woman as your one special partner.
It's likely that you make a lot of "typical nice guy" mistakes when you meet and interact with women. Replace those mistakes by thinking, talking and behaving like a more attractive man and you'll increase your chances of love and romance. There are video series by leading dating coaches that explain very well what you should be doing.

Reply 3

StriderHort

Asking someone out at midnight is a big mistake imo, it often looks like you're drunk or bored. What made you think it was the 'perfect' time?

Reply 4

Zarek

Its difficult to get friendship back on track following rejection. Just distance yourself as much as you can and focus on finding someone else. You can resume the friendship on a more equal basis once you’ve done this if it still matters

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 5

MSRK

Idk atp we were talking for like 3 hours

Reply 6

MSRK

Original post

by StriderHort

Asking someone out at midnight is a big mistake imo, it often looks like you're drunk or bored. What made you think it was the 'perfect' time?

It was like just after I got back from the monthly get together thing and i didn't want to ask in person coz there was other people there at the time and I'm under age for drinking