Steady relationship
I’m nearly 19 and would love to settle down and start a family soon after I finish university or even potentially longer after I start working for a few years/ finish a masters if I choose to do so.
I know it seems a while away but I know of a handful of women who met their husbands quite early on when they were in their early 20s. How can I go about meeting someone? I’ve already had my first boyfriend however things didn’t really go well and I don’t think we got off on a great start anyway. I suppose what I’m saying is how can I train myself to look for proper potential partners instead of falling prey to guys who are only after temporary lust and promiscuity.
Furthermore I’d like to think this has a bit to do with knowing myself because I feel I need to be sure of myself in order to know what I want in a potential spouse. I definitely wasn’t thinking about this in my first relationship despite having the mentality of ‘I date to marry’.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that there can be and are often particular pools or circles that people gravitate towards in the dating area. As a biracial half black half Hispanic girl who is generally quite attracted to Pakistani/ Arab men as well as my own ethnicity of Spanish/ Hispanic men, I feel like I’ve never truly wanted to restrict myself to just the types of my own ethnicity (Black and Hispanic). However I’ve noticed this comes with challenges as my second type are a different religion to me and often stay within their own communities.
Needles to say, I definitely would be happy if not would want to convert to Islam I’m just not sure I would be accepted.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can actively meet guys other than workplace/ uni. Unfortunately both my work and my unis are heavily female dominated so I have no chance there. Also I am not too social and due to being a commuter I don't spend much time on the campus before I have to g home. My friendships are diverse with my friends being some of the types I mentioned.
also before my ex, I also tried dating apps/ Snapchat and that was a complete fail and I dont want to go on those again.
I know it seems a while away but I know of a handful of women who met their husbands quite early on when they were in their early 20s. How can I go about meeting someone? I’ve already had my first boyfriend however things didn’t really go well and I don’t think we got off on a great start anyway. I suppose what I’m saying is how can I train myself to look for proper potential partners instead of falling prey to guys who are only after temporary lust and promiscuity.
Furthermore I’d like to think this has a bit to do with knowing myself because I feel I need to be sure of myself in order to know what I want in a potential spouse. I definitely wasn’t thinking about this in my first relationship despite having the mentality of ‘I date to marry’.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that there can be and are often particular pools or circles that people gravitate towards in the dating area. As a biracial half black half Hispanic girl who is generally quite attracted to Pakistani/ Arab men as well as my own ethnicity of Spanish/ Hispanic men, I feel like I’ve never truly wanted to restrict myself to just the types of my own ethnicity (Black and Hispanic). However I’ve noticed this comes with challenges as my second type are a different religion to me and often stay within their own communities.
Needles to say, I definitely would be happy if not would want to convert to Islam I’m just not sure I would be accepted.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can actively meet guys other than workplace/ uni. Unfortunately both my work and my unis are heavily female dominated so I have no chance there. Also I am not too social and due to being a commuter I don't spend much time on the campus before I have to g home. My friendships are diverse with my friends being some of the types I mentioned.
also before my ex, I also tried dating apps/ Snapchat and that was a complete fail and I dont want to go on those again.
Reply 1
I don't exactly have advice on the relationship aspect but on the fourth paragraph, as a Muslim you would definitely be accepted in most cases, however you shouldn't convert for the sake of a man - if you're to accept Islam you should intend to do it for yourself and for the sake of God.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousI don't exactly have advice on the relationship aspect but on the fourth paragraph, as a Muslim you would definitely be accepted in most cases, however you shouldn't convert for the sake of a man - if you're to accept Islam you should intend to do it for yourself and for the sake of God.
Reply 3
Original post
by Anonymousyes that's so true I have some Muslim friends and I've had experiences in different Muslim places which have made me feel welcome but in terms of looking for a Muslim partner I know that Muslims aren't really allowed/ supposed to date. Is this the same for men and women or just women?
This is the same for men and women. Obviously there's a 'talking stage' type period necessary but ultimately the intention should always be marriage.
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousThis is the same for men and women. Obviously there's a 'talking stage' type period necessary but ultimately the intention should always be marriage.
So how would you recommend I find Muslim guys to date because there are not many in my area but I have always been curious about Islam nevertheless as I have Muslim only female friends but it would seem weird to me to ask them for advice
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousSo how would you recommend I find Muslim guys to date because there are not many in my area but I have always been curious about Islam nevertheless as I have Muslim only female friends but it would seem weird to me to ask them for advice
Idrk what advice i'd give in that respect but if you're seriously interested in settling down and marrying a Muslim man you should look further into Islam for yourself first and foremost. Also, I reckon your muslimah friends would be more open to giving you advice than you'd expect if you explain the situation to them. I hope God guides you to what's good for you frfr.
Reply 6
Hi! just in regard to the interest in Islam, if you are interested in Islam, consider joining an Islamic Soc at uni and learning through there about the religion they would be more than happy to answer questions! and through this many mosques/Muslim community centres can help with young people looking to get married, however as comments above have advised, don't revert for the sake of marriage, revert because you genuinely connect with Islam 🙂
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousI know it seems a while away but I know of a handful of women who met their husbands quite early on when they were in their early 20s.
There are people like this, but you don't choose to meet the person you will go on to marry in your twenties and there's nothing you can really do to make that more likely. I met my wife when we were at university, and twenty or so years later our relationship is still going strong, but we're very different people to who we were when we met, and as much as we have worked on our relationship over time, there's also an element of luck in that as we grew older both our personalities and circumstances remained compatible. I have friends who also met at university and are now married. I have friends who met shortly after university and are now married. I have friends who only got together and got married relatively recently. I have friends who met their partner young, got married and subsequently divorced. There's nothing you can do to determine how long it is going to take you to meet the person that you're happy marrying. It's very much a matter of taking it person by person and relationship by relationship. Each relationship that ends teaches you something for the next one. You'll have a much better time of it if you focus on and enjoy each relationship as it comes. Being so focused on marriage isn't likely to help. You can obviously have those goals, as a lot of people do, but focusing more on enjoying your interactions with others and the relationships that come with them, regardless of where they might go in the long term, is a better approach generally speaking.
Reply 8
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