Should i go to a uni far away

Basically I want to go to falmouth uni. I currently live in Manchester and have firmed falmouth and put mmu as my insurance. The problem is my parents. They do not want me to go to falmouth even if i like the course more. They are saying there is nothing downthere and I won't be able to get any place to live as it will be too expensive. They don't have the most stable relationship and now my dad is saying they want to split up unless I go to mmu and stop the arguing. Also they are saying I won't be able to afford to live there if they split up. I have been arguing with them and they have been arguing at each other.

What do I do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

At the end of the day, this is your big life decision, not theirs. Them splitting up is their big life decision. They are grown adults, clearly not quite mature (no offense), who are responsible for their own decisions. If they split up it will never be your fault. Especially not your fault when you are prioritizing your future that does not affect theirs unless they choose that it does, which they are. They are choosing that your decision will affect them, that is on them, not you. This decision doesn't have to effect them but they are making it seem like it does by their own choice. It's just a manipulation tactic to get you to conform to what they want for your life.

Look into it more and make a decision based on what you find and form your own opinion, ignore their opinions. This is going to decide the next few years of your life, not theirs, so why should they decide?

If Falmouth's course is better for you, perfect! That's the first step. :]

Take a look at your maintenance loan, and work out how much of it will be going into university accommodation, see how much you have left for food, etc. Take a look at the cost of living down there, and make your own judgement on if it is doable. Get in contact with Fal and ask how they help student's who end up struggling with money during the course.

Take a look at financing options available. Make sure you get a good student bank account with a good overdraft; I know Fal offers one or two bursaries if your parents income is on the lower end and also a hardship fund for students struggling with money during the course.

They also offer advice and breakdowns on what you'll need to consider here:
https://www.falmouth.ac.uk/experience/support/money-matters

My sister went to Falmouth, in fact, she's going to be starting her Masters there after graduating in July. We live somewhere the London area, around 9-10 hours away from Falmouth by train, compared to 11hrs from Manchester. (both to Falmouth from car are 6hrs drive!)

My parent's are split up and one paid nothing towards her going. We're also poor 🎉 Despite this, she is fine. She met her partner there and recently just got home to her house she shares with them and another mutual friend after going on a cruise together. (Her partners parents paid for the cruise, so it doesn't really say much about money situation, but the point is is that she's currently happy and afloat despite our situation.)

She did her first year in university accommodation, which is expensive wherever you go because uni accommodation is like that. They also did struggle to find a house the next year, and started off in a house with 4 other friends.

Looking for a job was also difficult as lots of people are trying to get one, but they managed in the end. Well, her partner did. She is struggling with something else which prevents her from doing so currently. However, during her degree she had a "part-time job" from the university itself, where she got paid for being a Student Ambassador.

Falmouth does have things to do! While it doesn't have an amazing nightlife like you'd find in London, the city neighboring it, Truro, is really pretty and quite lively. Falmouth is a smaller university compared to ones in cities, but that has never stopped students from enjoying themselves. It's going to be a lot different from Manchester, quieter in some senses. But that might also make it a lot less overwhelming when being so far from home. I'm going to university this year in Glasgow, a bit silly of me as it is a big jump from my small town and I'm someone who gets overwhelmed in London.

Thing is, no matter where you go, things will work out, some will not. You will run into issues, including financial. That is life. This is also normal for students, and everyone's experience with differ. You are going to university, this is the time lot's of people figure out their independence. It seems if you stay near your parents, this will not be the only time they refuse to let you be your own person and live your own life. While costs do matter, how suited the course is to your future matters more. And hey, if you regret going to Fal for whatever reason, transferring after your first year is also always an option.

Whether you go to Fal or MMU, make it your choice!

But, please, pleeease remember your parent's situation is their responsibility alone. It is their relationship, not yours. You are not responsible for their actions following your decision.

Reply 2

Flamingo10

So which university has better job prospects? The better the job the more likely you are to be able to work and live where you want to. Knowing where Falmouth is I would make a guess and say that you would have more choices of jobs in Manchester than Cornwall. I don't know what course you are doing but if networking by meeting people is important for the job after university then Manchester will have more opportunities.

From what you have written it looks as if you are going to need to be more or less independent from your parents once you leave university so the job that you can get after the course may be more important than whether you like the course more?

Reply 3

Reality Check

Original post

by Anonymous

They don't have the most stable relationship and now my dad is saying they want to split up unless I go to mmu and stop the arguing. What do I do?

Your dad really shouldn't have attempted to emotionally blackmail you like this - it's completely unacceptable.

I'd get away as fast as I could, frankly.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Flamingo10

So which university has better job prospects? The better the job the more likely you are to be able to work and live where you want to. Knowing where Falmouth is I would make a guess and say that you would have more choices of jobs in Manchester than Cornwall. I don't know what course you are doing but if networking by meeting people is important for the job after university then Manchester will have more opportunities.
From what you have written it looks as if you are going to need to be more or less independent from your parents once you leave university so the job that you can get after the course may be more important than whether you like the course more?

I'm doing product design at mmu and sustainable product design at falmouth. They both have a placement year and I think the job prospects are high for both. And falmouth does have a good employability team? Idk I really like the course at falmouth but yeah I get ur point

Reply 5

Falmouth Uni

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Hello hello! Firstly, that's a really tricky situation you're in, and the advice you had from Anon 2 was really sensible and considered. It sounds like their sister's had a great experience - but we actually really do believe no two students are the same.

Manchester and Falmouth have very different experiences for you as a student, in addition to changes between courses. Falmouth will be much calmer, with a different scene outside of your studies. We're more of a weird and wonderful gigs, festivals, food popups, beach swims and personal growth vibe, rather than clubbing! Check out The Cornish Bank, Verdant tap room and Falmouth Week for a bit of a flavour. Students' part time work tends to be in hospitality (bar work, restaurants and in hotels) in Falmouth, but our placement year students do loads of amazing things. One of this year's has just finished an internship with Disney+...!

It sounds like Falmouth would represent a total change for you as a person. You can chat directly with other students on the course you're interested in on our website to get more of a 1:1 flavour - they will respond in 24 hours or less.

If you have any other nitty gritty questions please just get in touch with us. We can usually organise a conversation with the course leader for the course you're interested in too, if you'd like? You can do this here on our website.

P.S. We have a travel bursary this year, which could help with any costs you have visiting us. You can find out more here and see all of our financial support here.

Good luck!