Dating as a teen?

-Context am 16 in high school
Idk but I feel like loads of people around me have already had like 2 boyfriends or more- like a lot of my friends and some other girls in my year
I literally have never had a long conversation with a guy in my life before- except family- and this really is worrying me because its not that I am shy but I just never really am faced with a scenario where I have formed a friendship with a guy let alone dating someone.
It may be partially due to the boys in my year are kinda awkward and those who aren't only talk to the pretty girls.
Will it be different when I go to college? Do I need to put myself out there a bit more?
I just feel like im missing out whilst people around me are having first kisses and going on dates and having someone they can talk to about everything and I just really want that and Im so worried im never going to.
Please tell me someone felt the same but things changed as they grew up?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

-Context am 16 in high school
Idk but I feel like loads of people around me have already had like 2 boyfriends or more- like a lot of my friends and some other girls in my year
I literally have never had a long conversation with a guy in my life before- except family- and this really is worrying me because its not that I am shy but I just never really am faced with a scenario where I have formed a friendship with a guy let alone dating someone.
It may be partially due to the boys in my year are kinda awkward and those who aren't only talk to the pretty girls.
Will it be different when I go to college? Do I need to put myself out there a bit more?
I just feel like im missing out whilst people around me are having first kisses and going on dates and having someone they can talk to about everything and I just really want that and Im so worried im never going to.
Please tell me someone felt the same but things changed as they grew up?

It’s not that deep

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Original post

by Anonymous

-Context am 16 in high school
Idk but I feel like loads of people around me have already had like 2 boyfriends or more- like a lot of my friends and some other girls in my year
I literally have never had a long conversation with a guy in my life before- except family- and this really is worrying me because its not that I am shy but I just never really am faced with a scenario where I have formed a friendship with a guy let alone dating someone.
It may be partially due to the boys in my year are kinda awkward and those who aren't only talk to the pretty girls.
Will it be different when I go to college? Do I need to put myself out there a bit more?
I just feel like im missing out whilst people around me are having first kisses and going on dates and having someone they can talk to about everything and I just really want that and Im so worried im never going to.
Please tell me someone felt the same but things changed as they grew up?

girly itll happen when it does, not cause you want it to, i was very much similar, my friends were always kinda better looking than me and skinner, but i went i turned 17 i had a bf for a few months, but nearly 19 now and im very glad we’re broke up and i didn’t have a bf all throughout being a teenager, have fun and if it happens then it does if not that’s okay too, don’t stress about it

Reply 3

Anonymous #4

Original post

by Anonymous

-Context am 16 in high school
Idk but I feel like loads of people around me have already had like 2 boyfriends or more- like a lot of my friends and some other girls in my year
I literally have never had a long conversation with a guy in my life before- except family- and this really is worrying me because its not that I am shy but I just never really am faced with a scenario where I have formed a friendship with a guy let alone dating someone.
It may be partially due to the boys in my year are kinda awkward and those who aren't only talk to the pretty girls.
Will it be different when I go to college? Do I need to put myself out there a bit more?
I just feel like im missing out whilst people around me are having first kisses and going on dates and having someone they can talk to about everything and I just really want that and Im so worried im never going to.
Please tell me someone felt the same but things changed as they grew up?

Well. I am 21 and have never dated nor had any "firsts". I also don't have any friends, which is a personal preference. I am quite happy by myself. It all depends on the person, haha.

Though, I will say, just wanting a relationship just because you might be missing out is an awful way to think about it. You'll find that person when they come along! Don't look for someone mainly because you want to experience dating, you'll know it's your time when you want to date because someone makes you feel special.

If you're worried it's because you're not talking to many guys, try finding situations where you'll meet new people like a Youth group or summer schools. Once you get to college in a few years that'll also be a time you'll be meeting a lot of people; my sibling, for example, did not date until she went to college at 20, where she met her partner in the college discord server. To be fair, she went to an all-girls high school.

Reply 4

surf_lozz

7

I was 26 before I tried sex. I was 41 next time. Your time will come and lots fun memories to be made no regrets. Just enjoy getting to know you learning to love and be comfortable with yourself and own company. Embrace your own hungry mind body soul and imagination

Reply 5

Mohammed_2000

19

Focus on your education. You’re practically working towards your GCSEs the subjects and qualifications required to go to college, university to pursue the next steps of what you want to pursue and become in the future. Work on becoming the best version of yourself. Your only 16 you have plenty of time, you’ll meet the right one.

Reply 6

Crazy Jamie

19

Original post

by Anonymous

Please tell me someone felt the same but things changed as they grew up?

This was similar to my experience, albeit I'm a guy. I went to an all boys school with a mixed sixth form, so had very little contact with girls until sixth form. I've never really lacked confidence, but the problem once I got into sixth form is that I had no idea how to interact with or speak to girls, whether as friends or anything else. As a teenager, that's daunting, and I completely understand your feeling of being left behind when you watch others doing things that you do not know how to do, or how to even start doing. But there are a few things to keep in mind.

First, no one has any idea what they're doing in school. School relationships are a mess of hormones and rampant emotions. Sure, you can learn things from them and all experience is helpful to some degree, but the reality is that no one is mature enough in school relationships for them to be properly impactful in terms of their effect on your life going forwards. There are very few (and I really do mean very few) school relationships that last long term, but even those relationships don't last long term because they started early or of things that were done in school. It's more about how the couple grow and mature later. In short, whilst there's no harm in getting some experience in school, you really shouldn't feel like you're missing out on anything. Because, frankly, you're not. Things are marginally better in college/sixth form, but honestly before that I just flat out wouldn't bother.

Second, whenever you do start exploring this side of things, you do pick things up very quickly. This forum is obviously built around people asking for relationship advice, but at its core it's all pretty straightforward. You talk to people. You find them attractive. For the most part, you will realise when they find you attractive. You go out with them. You kiss them. You have sex with them. And all sorts of other steps in between. It is both complicated and yet really not at the same time. It's nothing that you won't pick up easily when you do start exploring that side of things.

For my part, I had quite a few female friends in that first year of sixth form. Went out with one of them for a couple of months with no intimacy save for some very awkward kissing and hand holding. In my second year I had two more relationships, both of which were more intimate. But as I say, looking back on it none of us had any real idea what we were doing. I then went to university and met a girl very early on who ended up being my wife, and we're still happily married now over twenty years after meeting. And even we didn't really know what we were doing for the first few years, and are still learning things about each other now. You have so much time for this, and there is no world in which you'll regret not having more experience of relationships, intimacy and sex as a teenager. You're old enough to do it, but in practice you're not old enough to do it properly or to be good at it (something you'll realise when you get older and, hopefully, do get better at it). Have and enjoy that experience if you want it and it comes your way as a teenager, but absolutely don't feel like you're missing out on anything if you don't, because you're really not.

Reply 7

Anonymous #5

Original post

by Anonymous

-Context am 16 in high school
Idk but I feel like loads of people around me have already had like 2 boyfriends or more- like a lot of my friends and some other girls in my year
I literally have never had a long conversation with a guy in my life before- except family- and this really is worrying me because its not that I am shy but I just never really am faced with a scenario where I have formed a friendship with a guy let alone dating someone.
It may be partially due to the boys in my year are kinda awkward and those who aren't only talk to the pretty girls.
Will it be different when I go to college? Do I need to put myself out there a bit more?
I just feel like im missing out whilst people around me are having first kisses and going on dates and having someone they can talk to about everything and I just really want that and Im so worried im never going to.
Please tell me someone felt the same but things changed as they grew up?

FIRST AND FOREMOST girl you're a pretty girl.
Second, dating's always weird. I'm 17, no boyfriend, a couple potentials, but I'm purposely putting them off. If you're dating in highschool (based off of my friends' experiences), it's not going to last. Once everyone comes to that conclusion, especially senior year, you're not dating because you actually like somebody - you're dating to get rid of inexperience, to be awkward now so the second pancake comes out better. I personally don't think that's a good enough reason to date. I'm also kind of immature, so I'd rather take now as time to be a kid, feel prepared for a relationship, then jump in. A lot of my older friends who didn't date found people quite easily, and didn't feel like they missed anything by not dating in highschool. I've heard some people say they "like the purity of saving themselves". I've also heard people say that they "perfer an experienced partner". Usually, if you find a partner that you like, I would say that you should treat the issue on a case by case basis. I'm also just as young as you are so maybe this is not helpful idk

Reply 8

Username123ab

17

Not that important, average age to still be a virgin gets higher by the day, 90% of gen z are too awkward to be in public

Dating as a teen?

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