Guy I met online trying to meet up with me
He’s one of the better of my three online boyfriends lol so I don’t want to be really mean to him or just block him out of nowhere.
But he’s somehow got from me drunkenly flirting over text and video calls to believing we’re in a relationship and going to date and now wants to meet up with me 💀
I’ve given every polite rejection I can (“I don’t have the money”, “I need to focus on uni”, “my family don’t like me travelling alone”) and he wants me to go to Canada or Ireland or Luxembourg to meet up with him.
I’ve told him no in every fathomable polite euphemism and I don’t want to be excessively brutal because he’s a nice person and extremely depressed lol
But he’s somehow got from me drunkenly flirting over text and video calls to believing we’re in a relationship and going to date and now wants to meet up with me 💀
I’ve given every polite rejection I can (“I don’t have the money”, “I need to focus on uni”, “my family don’t like me travelling alone”) and he wants me to go to Canada or Ireland or Luxembourg to meet up with him.
I’ve told him no in every fathomable polite euphemism and I don’t want to be excessively brutal because he’s a nice person and extremely depressed lol
Reply 1
Speaking from being on guy’s position before. Don’t ghost him. But sounds like you need be blunt but fair. ‘I see you as a platonic good friend & appreciate our chats in the past which I value but emotionally we are on different wavelengths but hope you find what you’re looking for’ … or similar . Wish you well
Reply 2
Be blunt! also i hope for your sake the three "boyfriends" you have know they are one of three... youre setting up for normalising cheating in your next future "irl"/real relationship. Just saying. Its either polyamory if they know, or cheating if they don't. Dont play w peoples hearts, so yes be honest with this guy.
Reply 3
The reality is that if the polite rejections haven't worked, you need to be clear with him. You don't need to be brutal about it. Just be clear. The reality is that he is wrapped up in this reality (or probably more like a fantasy) of the two of you being together, and the best thing for both of you is that you make it very clear to him that you're in different places (both physically and emotionally). There really is no benefit to him in dragging this out. There is no way that you can avoid hurting him in the short term, but in the longer term the only realistic solution is for you to be clear with him about this. You could just block him, and no doubt he will get the same message that way, but that would be excessively brutal. If you are clear with him and he continues irrespective, that's when blocking him becomes the sensible thing to do.
Reply 4
18
Nothing wrong with trying to initiate a meetup after a period of conversation.
But given you've mentioned he's an online boyfriend, and the skull emoji on the thought of meeting, comes across to me as though you have zero intention of ever having a relationship in real life.
Why those three countries? Does he live in one of those, or are those three countries places you have both talked about visiting, if you are "dating"?
If he's depressed, suggest he go to counselling. I can only assume that you're in different countries so that the time zones might play a role here.
You've tried to say no, and while he certainly seems more keen in the "relationship" than you, the best approach I can think of, is to just tell him "Hey (name), I really appreciate all the conversations we've had, shared, and discussed over (period of time). But I've got to focus on my studies for my next career path, and I can't commit to a visit at this stage. Youre a (insert positive words about the guy), but I think it's best for the both of us, that we just remain friends, chat, call, etc. I'm sorry".
Or scratch it all and say something else, but from your heart 🙂 Good luck!
But given you've mentioned he's an online boyfriend, and the skull emoji on the thought of meeting, comes across to me as though you have zero intention of ever having a relationship in real life.
Why those three countries? Does he live in one of those, or are those three countries places you have both talked about visiting, if you are "dating"?
If he's depressed, suggest he go to counselling. I can only assume that you're in different countries so that the time zones might play a role here.
You've tried to say no, and while he certainly seems more keen in the "relationship" than you, the best approach I can think of, is to just tell him "Hey (name), I really appreciate all the conversations we've had, shared, and discussed over (period of time). But I've got to focus on my studies for my next career path, and I can't commit to a visit at this stage. Youre a (insert positive words about the guy), but I think it's best for the both of us, that we just remain friends, chat, call, etc. I'm sorry".
Or scratch it all and say something else, but from your heart 🙂 Good luck!
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