How to stop being jealous of people who haven't gone through anything?
not intending to judge anyone by the way, i have tried to stop this mindset but to no avail which is why im asking.
since coming on this website i have seen a lot of really smart people which of course, is a result of hard work and effort and is very admirable and inspirational.
but i've also seen a lot of people just seeming to have great lives, good parents, typical teenage problems paired with a lot of validation. i've seen judgmental people who don't seem to have any life experience to open their minds up and have empathy and that all gives me the impression that they don't seem to have gone through anything tough in their lives. how can i stop feeling jealous of them? i know it's all relative but for some reason it makes me feel a sense of injustice and gets me really annoyed. it's not just on this website, it's also on social media but i assumed social media was just where people put all the good things and hid the bad. now that i'm seeing it so casually, it is just trifling that some people actually are not pretending, that's straight up their life.
i didn't seem to have this problem at school because i just didn't believe that there could be anyone that hasn't gone through it. maybe it was the area i went to school in or something but there were people at my school who had gone through horrible things and in turn were very mature and understanding, they didn't seem to have that judgment mindset or anything like that, they were kind to everyone and very grateful when good things did end up happening, despite all the hardships they had gone though. no immaturity or judgment or invalidation. this is the mindset i have too, but now that time goes by and i see what other teenagers my age are doing, i'm actually realising that some people have just been allowed to grow up without any major hardship or trauma (as much as i dislike using that word). that is just insane to me and makes me feel so much jealousy.
but there are pros to it that i'm happy i've gone through stuff because i've come out a lot stronger and less judgmental but at the same time i kind of wish the rest of my life at least from now on can be sunshine and rainbows like some of the people i see online.
since coming on this website i have seen a lot of really smart people which of course, is a result of hard work and effort and is very admirable and inspirational.
but i've also seen a lot of people just seeming to have great lives, good parents, typical teenage problems paired with a lot of validation. i've seen judgmental people who don't seem to have any life experience to open their minds up and have empathy and that all gives me the impression that they don't seem to have gone through anything tough in their lives. how can i stop feeling jealous of them? i know it's all relative but for some reason it makes me feel a sense of injustice and gets me really annoyed. it's not just on this website, it's also on social media but i assumed social media was just where people put all the good things and hid the bad. now that i'm seeing it so casually, it is just trifling that some people actually are not pretending, that's straight up their life.
i didn't seem to have this problem at school because i just didn't believe that there could be anyone that hasn't gone through it. maybe it was the area i went to school in or something but there were people at my school who had gone through horrible things and in turn were very mature and understanding, they didn't seem to have that judgment mindset or anything like that, they were kind to everyone and very grateful when good things did end up happening, despite all the hardships they had gone though. no immaturity or judgment or invalidation. this is the mindset i have too, but now that time goes by and i see what other teenagers my age are doing, i'm actually realising that some people have just been allowed to grow up without any major hardship or trauma (as much as i dislike using that word). that is just insane to me and makes me feel so much jealousy.
but there are pros to it that i'm happy i've gone through stuff because i've come out a lot stronger and less judgmental but at the same time i kind of wish the rest of my life at least from now on can be sunshine and rainbows like some of the people i see online.
Reply 1
Original post
by shamefulpastnot intending to judge anyone by the way, i have tried to stop this mindset but to no avail which is why im asking.
since coming on this website i have seen a lot of really smart people which of course, is a result of hard work and effort and is very admirable and inspirational.
but i've also seen a lot of people just seeming to have great lives, good parents, typical teenage problems paired with a lot of validation. i've seen judgmental people who don't seem to have any life experience to open their minds up and have empathy and that all gives me the impression that they don't seem to have gone through anything tough in their lives. how can i stop feeling jealous of them? i know it's all relative but for some reason it makes me feel a sense of injustice and gets me really annoyed. it's not just on this website, it's also on social media but i assumed social media was just where people put all the good things and hid the bad. now that i'm seeing it so casually, it is just trifling that some people actually are not pretending, that's straight up their life.
i didn't seem to have this problem at school because i just didn't believe that there could be anyone that hasn't gone through it. maybe it was the area i went to school in or something but there were people at my school who had gone through horrible things and in turn were very mature and understanding, they didn't seem to have that judgment mindset or anything like that, they were kind to everyone and very grateful when good things did end up happening, despite all the hardships they had gone though. no immaturity or judgment or invalidation. this is the mindset i have too, but now that time goes by and i see what other teenagers my age are doing, i'm actually realising that some people have just been allowed to grow up without any major hardship or trauma (as much as i dislike using that word). that is just insane to me and makes me feel so much jealousy.
but there are pros to it that i'm happy i've gone through stuff because i've come out a lot stronger and less judgmental but at the same time i kind of wish the rest of my life at least from now on can be sunshine and rainbows like some of the people i see online.
since coming on this website i have seen a lot of really smart people which of course, is a result of hard work and effort and is very admirable and inspirational.
but i've also seen a lot of people just seeming to have great lives, good parents, typical teenage problems paired with a lot of validation. i've seen judgmental people who don't seem to have any life experience to open their minds up and have empathy and that all gives me the impression that they don't seem to have gone through anything tough in their lives. how can i stop feeling jealous of them? i know it's all relative but for some reason it makes me feel a sense of injustice and gets me really annoyed. it's not just on this website, it's also on social media but i assumed social media was just where people put all the good things and hid the bad. now that i'm seeing it so casually, it is just trifling that some people actually are not pretending, that's straight up their life.
i didn't seem to have this problem at school because i just didn't believe that there could be anyone that hasn't gone through it. maybe it was the area i went to school in or something but there were people at my school who had gone through horrible things and in turn were very mature and understanding, they didn't seem to have that judgment mindset or anything like that, they were kind to everyone and very grateful when good things did end up happening, despite all the hardships they had gone though. no immaturity or judgment or invalidation. this is the mindset i have too, but now that time goes by and i see what other teenagers my age are doing, i'm actually realising that some people have just been allowed to grow up without any major hardship or trauma (as much as i dislike using that word). that is just insane to me and makes me feel so much jealousy.
but there are pros to it that i'm happy i've gone through stuff because i've come out a lot stronger and less judgmental but at the same time i kind of wish the rest of my life at least from now on can be sunshine and rainbows like some of the people i see online.
I mean this website is not an accurate cross section of the teenage population. It's going to be the people who have in general the highest academic ability, as no-one wants to go on a site filled with lots of (some being arrogant) people with straight 9s or A stars if they haven't achieved those results (or at least not many). These people in turn will have been exponentially more likely to have been brought up in a stable upbringing with little problems in their life.
Reply 2
11
oh thank you. that's really true. it explains why there's a difference from what i see at school vs what i see on this site. high performers tend to be high performers because of the stability rather than it just being coincidental. it doesn't represent everyone. that actually helps a lot. thank you 
Reply 3
Original post
by shamefulpastoh thank you. that's really true. it explains why there's a difference from what i see at school vs what i see on this site. high performers tend to be high performers because of the stability rather than it just being coincidental. it doesn't represent everyone. that actually helps a lot. thank you
nws!
Reply 4
If it makes you feel better, things are going to get a lot more difficult for everyone over the next thirty years or so.
Reply 5
11
Original post
by anosmianAcrimonyIf it makes you feel better, things are going to get a lot more difficult for everyone over the next thirty years or so.
that's true, i guess that helps 🙂 but i feel like at times adverse childhood experiences can lead to more issues in life whereas people that have their first issues in their 40s+ already have the foundation they need to overcome the things they face without lasting effects (not saying that's the case for everything and everyone, i think maybe i'm thinking of trivial things than life changing things) but i just can't shake that feeling and that's the thing that makes me the most jealous. but i have to remind myself that anyone can face issues for all sorts of reasons and there will always be someone living better than them. like there are still people out there, even celebrities, who have had tough times growing up and have overcome it with a sense of mental strength. and the people from my school sill exist and they deal with the same thing. same with the people at my old youth centre. there are always people who have dealt with hard things and everyone is different because of it. even if some people have had better lives, there will always be someone who is better off and anything can happen to anyone at any time.
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