Friendship&relationship
Hello, I am wondering if Iactully tell them that thair actions is making me unconfetable.
So I have a friend group of 5 people, 2 girls and 3 boys, including me...
Originally, each one of them only knew me, but then I got them to know each other and things developed from then.
Long story short, one of my friends, who is a boy, had a crush on kne of the girls in our friend group, which we all had no problem with.
But after a while, when things became better between them both and they started to share their feelings, they started to act differently
Like they started showing love to each other and act as if we are invisible around them even though we could be sawt the five of us togather
I mean, I would also say, "Maybe that's ok.
But then they started physically touching each other, not in a waird way but like the girl ours her foot on to of his. And he does the same sometime, and u know they cuddle and stuff.
In my brain, this should be done privately"sorry but I don't want to see couples hugging and doing stuff in front of me."
They should do it in their own time, not in front of others.
You could be thinking well why don't you distance yourself if this is making u unconfertable, well simply it's becouse we were all friends togsther and we still meet up at lunch break or freew lessons times.
So should I ask them to respect my presence and don't do these things infornnt of Me?
I mean, do you guys feel unconfertable when u see people hugging touching and stuff infront of you?
So I have a friend group of 5 people, 2 girls and 3 boys, including me...
Originally, each one of them only knew me, but then I got them to know each other and things developed from then.
Long story short, one of my friends, who is a boy, had a crush on kne of the girls in our friend group, which we all had no problem with.
But after a while, when things became better between them both and they started to share their feelings, they started to act differently
Like they started showing love to each other and act as if we are invisible around them even though we could be sawt the five of us togather
I mean, I would also say, "Maybe that's ok.
But then they started physically touching each other, not in a waird way but like the girl ours her foot on to of his. And he does the same sometime, and u know they cuddle and stuff.
In my brain, this should be done privately"sorry but I don't want to see couples hugging and doing stuff in front of me."
They should do it in their own time, not in front of others.
You could be thinking well why don't you distance yourself if this is making u unconfertable, well simply it's becouse we were all friends togsther and we still meet up at lunch break or freew lessons times.
So should I ask them to respect my presence and don't do these things infornnt of Me?
I mean, do you guys feel unconfertable when u see people hugging touching and stuff infront of you?
Reply 1
Ours*puts
Reply 2
You're totally valid for feeling that way. It's great to be happy for your friends, but when their behavior starts affecting the group dynamic or making others uncomfortable, it’s okay to speak up.
Reply 3
I think you would look like a bit of an idiot complaining about this and v much risk being sidelined.
When people say they are uncomfortable with public displays of affection they are generally talking about couples really aggressively kissing or groping etc 'get a room you two!' etc
But like hand holding or touching feet? I think you'd be considerably overstepping socially if you tried to pressure them out of that and you should probably be asking why this is upsetting you so much. You're basically demanding they pretend they aren't a couple for your benefit which is almost certain to make things awkward and a good chance they'd just stop hanging about with you.
When people say they are uncomfortable with public displays of affection they are generally talking about couples really aggressively kissing or groping etc 'get a room you two!' etc
But like hand holding or touching feet? I think you'd be considerably overstepping socially if you tried to pressure them out of that and you should probably be asking why this is upsetting you so much. You're basically demanding they pretend they aren't a couple for your benefit which is almost certain to make things awkward and a good chance they'd just stop hanging about with you.
Reply 4
Original post
by StriderHortI think you would look like a bit of an idiot complaining about this and v much risk being sidelined.
When people say they are uncomfortable with public displays of affection they are generally talking about couples really aggressively kissing or groping etc 'get a room you two!' etc
But like hand holding or touching feet? I think you'd be considerably overstepping socially if you tried to pressure them out of that and you should probably be asking why this is upsetting you so much. You're basically demanding they pretend they aren't a couple for your benefit which is almost certain to make things awkward and a good chance they'd just stop hanging about with you.
When people say they are uncomfortable with public displays of affection they are generally talking about couples really aggressively kissing or groping etc 'get a room you two!' etc
But like hand holding or touching feet? I think you'd be considerably overstepping socially if you tried to pressure them out of that and you should probably be asking why this is upsetting you so much. You're basically demanding they pretend they aren't a couple for your benefit which is almost certain to make things awkward and a good chance they'd just stop hanging about with you.
First of all, who said holding hands was a problem to me...
Secondly An idiot person who would think I am an idiot by feeling unconfertable because I am sure there are millions of people who would feel the same
I do have a gf, and we meet up lots of times with them, but we never do the actions that they do around friends, and mainly when we are sitting in a group chatting and stuff
Do you really think it's totally OK to watch actions of porn in front of u when you are trying to enjoy ur time with friends?
Becouse I personally don't want to watch them doing ****.
Lastly, i am not demanding anything if they want to not respect our presence, then yes, they should leave and find somewhere else to do the **** they are doing
And if they stopy hanning out with me aim totally fine with that.
U know ur massage had shown me how messed up some peoples mindsets really are.
U think it's fine to watch couples kissing and stuff when you sat there in front of them
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousFirst of all, who said holding hands was a problem to me...
Secondly An idiot person who would think I am an idiot by feeling unconfertable because I am sure there are millions of people who would feel the same
I do have a gf, and we meet up lots of times with them, but we never do the actions that they do around friends, and mainly when we are sitting in a group chatting and stuff
Do you really think it's totally OK to watch actions of porn in front of u when you are trying to enjoy ur time with friends?
Becouse I personally don't want to watch them doing ****.
Lastly, i am not demanding anything if they want to not respect our presence, then yes, they should leave and find somewhere else to do the **** they are doing
And if they stopy hanning out with me aim totally fine with that.
U know ur massage had shown me how messed up some peoples mindsets really are.
U think it's fine to watch couples kissing and stuff when you sat there in front of them
Secondly An idiot person who would think I am an idiot by feeling unconfertable because I am sure there are millions of people who would feel the same
I do have a gf, and we meet up lots of times with them, but we never do the actions that they do around friends, and mainly when we are sitting in a group chatting and stuff
Do you really think it's totally OK to watch actions of porn in front of u when you are trying to enjoy ur time with friends?
Becouse I personally don't want to watch them doing ****.
Lastly, i am not demanding anything if they want to not respect our presence, then yes, they should leave and find somewhere else to do the **** they are doing
And if they stopy hanning out with me aim totally fine with that.
U know ur massage had shown me how messed up some peoples mindsets really are.
U think it's fine to watch couples kissing and stuff when you sat there in front of them
I'm not entirely sure why you made this thread and asked open questions if you only wanted to hear answers that agreed with your position. The view that StriderHort expressed is entirely reasonable and one that many people (including me) would agree with.
You didn't say that you had an issue with holding hands, but you did say that you had an issue with them touching feet, which is about as harmless as displays of affection can be. You also mentioned cuddling and said that the touching was not in a weird way. All of that is very far from porn. The reality is that most people wouldn't have an issue with couples doing those sorts of things, and frankly when you're younger most people wouldn't have an issue with kissing either. There is a line there for everyone, but part of social interactions generally is judging when something that bothers you is sufficiently significant that it warrants asking the person to stop, or whether you being bothered by it is likely to be more unusual, in which case you might either tolerate it or move yourself away. I agree with StriderHort that on the examples you gave, I expect that most people wouldn't have an issue with it, and you probably do risk ostracising yourself by bringing it up. That's not a criticism of you. No one is doubting that you are genuinely bothered by this. And if they do start kissing particularly passionately or taking things too far, then that may well tip things in favour of saying something. But based on the information in your original post, I would agree that this isn't significant enough to bring it up with them. Whether you listen to that answer or just assume I'm wrong because my view doesn't align with yours is entirely up to you.
Reply 6
It sounds like you're the only one who's bothered by this, which means it might be more a you problem than a them problem.
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousFirst of all, who said holding hands was a problem to me...
Secondly An idiot person who would think I am an idiot by feeling unconfertable because I am sure there are millions of people who would feel the same
I do have a gf, and we meet up lots of times with them, but we never do the actions that they do around friends, and mainly when we are sitting in a group chatting and stuff
Do you really think it's totally OK to watch actions of porn in front of u when you are trying to enjoy ur time with friends?
Becouse I personally don't want to watch them doing ****.
Lastly, i am not demanding anything if they want to not respect our presence, then yes, they should leave and find somewhere else to do the **** they are doing
And if they stopy hanning out with me aim totally fine with that.
U know ur massage had shown me how messed up some peoples mindsets really are.
U think it's fine to watch couples kissing and stuff when you sat there in front of them
Secondly An idiot person who would think I am an idiot by feeling unconfertable because I am sure there are millions of people who would feel the same
I do have a gf, and we meet up lots of times with them, but we never do the actions that they do around friends, and mainly when we are sitting in a group chatting and stuff
Do you really think it's totally OK to watch actions of porn in front of u when you are trying to enjoy ur time with friends?
Becouse I personally don't want to watch them doing ****.
Lastly, i am not demanding anything if they want to not respect our presence, then yes, they should leave and find somewhere else to do the **** they are doing
And if they stopy hanning out with me aim totally fine with that.
U know ur massage had shown me how messed up some peoples mindsets really are.
U think it's fine to watch couples kissing and stuff when you sat there in front of them
Nah not biting, load of twaddle
Reply 8
Original post
by Crazy JamieI'm not entirely sure why you made this thread and asked open questions if you only wanted to hear answers that agreed with your position. The view that StriderHort expressed is entirely reasonable and one that many people (including me) would agree with.
You didn't say that you had an issue with holding hands, but you did say that you had an issue with them touching feet, which is about as harmless as displays of affection can be. You also mentioned cuddling and said that the touching was not in a weird way. All of that is very far from porn. The reality is that most people wouldn't have an issue with couples doing those sorts of things, and frankly when you're younger most people wouldn't have an issue with kissing either. There is a line there for everyone, but part of social interactions generally is judging when something that bothers you is sufficiently significant that it warrants asking the person to stop, or whether you being bothered by it is likely to be more unusual, in which case you might either tolerate it or move yourself away. I agree with StriderHort that on the examples you gave, I expect that most people wouldn't have an issue with it, and you probably do risk ostracising yourself by bringing it up. That's not a criticism of you. No one is doubting that you are genuinely bothered by this. And if they do start kissing particularly passionately or taking things too far, then that may well tip things in favour of saying something. But based on the information in your original post, I would agree that this isn't significant enough to bring it up with them. Whether you listen to that answer or just assume I'm wrong because my view doesn't align with yours is entirely up to you.
You didn't say that you had an issue with holding hands, but you did say that you had an issue with them touching feet, which is about as harmless as displays of affection can be. You also mentioned cuddling and said that the touching was not in a weird way. All of that is very far from porn. The reality is that most people wouldn't have an issue with couples doing those sorts of things, and frankly when you're younger most people wouldn't have an issue with kissing either. There is a line there for everyone, but part of social interactions generally is judging when something that bothers you is sufficiently significant that it warrants asking the person to stop, or whether you being bothered by it is likely to be more unusual, in which case you might either tolerate it or move yourself away. I agree with StriderHort that on the examples you gave, I expect that most people wouldn't have an issue with it, and you probably do risk ostracising yourself by bringing it up. That's not a criticism of you. No one is doubting that you are genuinely bothered by this. And if they do start kissing particularly passionately or taking things too far, then that may well tip things in favour of saying something. But based on the information in your original post, I would agree that this isn't significant enough to bring it up with them. Whether you listen to that answer or just assume I'm wrong because my view doesn't align with yours is entirely up to you.
No, I apreasate what u say it gives me an over vew of what people think. 👍
Reply 9
Original post
by anosmianAcrimonyIt sounds like you're the only one who's bothered by this, which means it might be more a you problem than a them problem.
It's not really my other friend feels the same way
Reply 10
21
While it can be a bit tiresome when couples develop in friendship groups, it’s part of life, their displays of affection are not extreme and I wouldn’t raise it. Plus I don’t think you’d get a good outcome from doing so
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