Friendship advice needed <3

Okay so, I moved quite a lot. I used to live in New Jersey where I had the most amazing friends, we would hang out everyday and have sleepovers during summer and then my parents ended up moving to the UK. Icl it was hard at first but I ended up making a couple who I could properly hang out with and then my mom decided to move two more times in the UK and im honestly so burnt out. I had a great sixth form experience however, since I was not here for secondary most of my sixth form friends already have solid friend groups with girls they've known much longer. From what ive noticed even if I do make close friends they almost always drift apart when things change like school ect. and it is so frustrating because I would rather have at least 1 close longterm friend compared to 15 short term ones. Im taking a gap year as well so it's going to be a longgg year, I just really crave friendships and I do put a lot of effort into them. My question is how people even make friends at this age? like not just acquaintances u say hi and bye to but proper friends? and I really dont want to force something not genuine, its honestly so depressing seeing everyones insta story whilst they are at vacay with their friends and im just home.. I am so so grateful that I have the best cousins and they are my best friends but they live in another country entirely.

Reply 1

HoldThisL

I feel you. I have had the same group of friends since sixth form, and I feel immensely lucky to have them because (as is often the case) we met by chance and if we never met...who knows what I'd be doing now

When you say make friends 'at this age' I assume you only mean 18ish? Believe me, it gets a lot harder to make friends than it is now and, if anything, the next 3 years (of university, I assume?) will be the easiest time to make friends before work, distance, and generally declining time for socializing set in. Even if not, whilst a gap year might be a quiet time, finding some social activities locally or getting a job could be a good start for you

As far as I'm concerned though you're absolutely right to not want to force anything, but that means the only real way is to put yourself out there (socials, sports, clubs, in class) and hope to strike connections

The element of your parents moving is a really tough one and unfortunately, you can't control it but hopefully for you that is about to change. As an adult, you have the deciding power when it comes to staying put once you can support yourself and that should be good for you. To have moved so many times and still made friends at each place is a feat, especially in the UK. I'm not sure how this matches your experience but I find Americans are much more outgoing and inviting to strangers (although I also find them flakier and less likely to form long term friendships) whereas Europeans are better at long term friendships but its more exclusive

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Friendship advice needed <3

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