My son has just finished his first year at Durham and has found lots to do, lots of activities through college and college bars but also just enjoying the nightclubs, it’s def not nightlife of other big cities but he enjoys the closeness of the small city. His friends are a mix from state and private schools and that’s really not a big thing, though he is in a hill college, maybe different in Bailey colleges, though he’s met a couple of people from Hatfield and they’ve been lovely too. I think in all unis you can have some class issue but you tend to find a friend group that will fit you and at the end of the day that’s all you need.
Sorry I can’t help with other uni insights. Good luck with your choices, it’s an exciting time.