Hot topic debate: Parental Punishment: Where Should We Draw the Line?

18

Most people have experienced some form of discipline from their parents growing up, whether it's being grounded, or yelled at, to more extreme cases like spankings. The goal of discipline is usually to teach children right from wrong and help them learn. But where do we draw the line between acceptable discipline and harmful behavior? When does discipline cross the line and become hurtful instead of helpful?

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Reply 1

5hyl33n

Volunteer Section Leader, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Discipline crosses the line when the child shows even the slightest signs of being afraid of their parents. A child should feel safe, supported, and able to make mistakes without fearing emotional or physical retaliation. Fear may stop a behavior temporarily, but it rarely teaches understanding and can be damaging in the long-term.

Reply 2

averageduck

15

Original post

by anxious&paranoid

Most people have experienced some form of discipline from their parents growing up, whether it's being grounded, or yelled at, to more extreme cases like spankings. The goal of discipline is usually to teach children right from wrong and help them learn. But where do we draw the line between acceptable discipline and harmful behavior? When does discipline cross the line and become hurtful instead of helpful?
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I think that parents need to change their disciplining style depending on the situation and evolve it as they watch their child grow. That being said, physical, verbal, psychological abuse as well as damage of property (not including illegal substances possessed by the child) are not okay. Discipline becomes hurtful when the discipline turns from constructive criticism or slight complaints to a personal attack on the child. It should be a parent's priority to understand their child and their actions but also teach them the consequences in an ethical manner.

Reply 3

anxious&paranoid

OP

18

Would this mean that younger children like toddlers, 3 - 5 year olds, have to be disciplined with gentle parenting, as even the slightest raise of noise can startle them? I read a research article some time ago which claims that gentle parenting doesn't work as it was too 'gentle and permissive'.

(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 4

5hyl33n

Volunteer Section Leader, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post

by anxious&paranoid

Would this mean that younger children like toddlers, 3 - 5 year olds, have to be disciplined with gentle parenting, as even the slightest raise of noise can startle them? I read a research article some time ago which claims that gentle parenting doesn't work as it was too 'gentle and permissive'.

That's not quite what I'm saying. There’s a big difference between a child being startled and being genuinely scared.

This might be a bit controversial, but I don’t believe we need to cater to every single emotional need of our children. Doing so might actually lead to adults who are overly sensitive and self-centered.

It also reminds me of the whole 'textbook parenting' trend. I’m not totally against it, but I do find it worrying when some parents seem completely lost in a situation unless they’ve consulted a parenting guide first.

Reply 5

Kanushi09

13

A line that no parent should ever cross when you punishing a child is psychical, emotional and psychological abuse. Wheter for toddlers or teens, its all the same. We are all human and children are the most vulnerable human because they are just starting their life. They don't know what their doing. Not saying that parent or any other adult does, but when you grow up with your personal expriences moral valuse and attidues, they know way more than a child. Maybe if your child is in danger or going to do something real stupid, you pull them out or shout to get their attetnion would work but that's probably the only time. In simple words, psyhical (hitting, slapping, breating, throwing objects, using objects) instills fear. Sure you get them ti stop but they wouldnt want to come to you when they have problems or did something stupid as their scared that paernts will react badly which leads to sneakniess, delquiency and end up in dangerous situations. Emtionally (threating, hurtful words, insulting humilating and so on) and psycholgically (emtional maniputltion, blackmailing, narccism, blaming ) will just make them feel stupid, embraaed and ashamed of what they did. It might stop them from doing it but it also could lead to mental problems.

Hot topic debate: Parental Punishment: Where Should We Draw the Line?

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