Pls help
guys i need some advice as i feel like my friends are sick of me complaining, so me and the ex broke up nearly a year ago and i do genuinely feel over it and him, he was my first boyfriend but we would never have worked out and im totally okay with that, like yk i do feel over it, but suddenly hes started posting on his insta story, going on lads holiday and having fun and being happy, whenever i see his face or his stories my heart sinks and i feel nauseous, i dont know why, maybe its the dread that the story is going to be with him and other girls, but i know we’re not together and i dont want to be together but if i did see a story like that i know it would kinda upset me, i dont really know what to do, im temped to unfollow him or block him but i know ill be too curious and im nosey so id want to see, but even then if i did remove him on insta he might notice so then he knows im still hurt and bothered about seeing him, sorry this is so long, will i still always feel this way seeing him? or maybe its because at the moment i feel somewhat stagnant, ive just finished a levels and looking for a job and hopefully im going uni in october so im not really doing much day to day, obs i go out with family and friends but thats about it, i thought that after a year it wouldn’t hurt seeing him, do you think he thinks about me sometimes too?
Reply 1
This is all perfectly normal. You can largely be over someone but still have emotional reactions like this when you see posts online or similar. One obvious reason for that might be because you're transitioning from A-Levels at the moment, and it's attractive to think about a previous time when it seemed like you had it all figured out. And that will naturally come with concerns or wondering about whether he has a girlfriend etc. All very normal.
In terms of what you do from here, your priority must be your own wellbeing. It genuinely does not matter at all what he thinks. Whether he might think you're not over him, or thinks that you are over him, or doesn't think about you at all makes literally no difference at all to you. To my mind, you're going through this transitionary phase, which is a little tricky, it's not helping you to see his updates, so the obvious answer is to block him. Just remove that source of negativity from your life. It seems like a difficult decision in the age of social media, but I genuinely don't think it's a difficult decision at all. His updates are having a negative effect on you, so remove them from your life and focus on your friends, family, interests, and everything else that you can actually control. It's that simple.
In terms of what you do from here, your priority must be your own wellbeing. It genuinely does not matter at all what he thinks. Whether he might think you're not over him, or thinks that you are over him, or doesn't think about you at all makes literally no difference at all to you. To my mind, you're going through this transitionary phase, which is a little tricky, it's not helping you to see his updates, so the obvious answer is to block him. Just remove that source of negativity from your life. It seems like a difficult decision in the age of social media, but I genuinely don't think it's a difficult decision at all. His updates are having a negative effect on you, so remove them from your life and focus on your friends, family, interests, and everything else that you can actually control. It's that simple.
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