My Best Friend
I care deeply about my best friend, but lately, I’ve been feeling like the effort and value I place in our connection isn’t fully reciprocated. We talk often and share a lot, but we’re not part of the same friend group, which can make things feel a bit distant. I’ve developed feelings for him over time—this is MLM, by the way. We’ve shared some flirty moments, hugs, little kisses, and more personal conversations. Things have even gone further at times, though it’s hard to talk about openly. The thing is, I’m not looking for a full-on relationship with him. I just want to feel more seen, appreciated, and valued for what we do share. If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, I’d really appreciate hearing it.
Reply 1
10
Sounds like mixed messages from both ends.
I think you need to establish what your current relationship is and what you want it to be from your perspective, and what that'll mean and look like for you and and then have a sit down and speak to him about what he wants and see if your both on the same page, be aware, it might not go how you expect.
How did the relationship start? Who initiated it? What's the context? in college or at work? That might effect some of this too.
From your post, you want a more emotionally intimate relationship but not a more physical one. Some might describe that as a 'boyfriend without the benefits' in some ways. If you want a more or purely platonic relationship and make him more a "friend", then you should probably reconsider the physical side to avoid the mixed messages for both of you. That is probably adding to the confusion.
If you want a boyfriend, and feel your getting there or are in the position to step up into an exclusive relationship, then tell him how you're feeling and what you want from him and take it from there. See how he responds. If its not how you would hope, then you'll need to ask yourself what you want to do.
He may not see your relationship the same way as you. He may see you as FWB or just a friend, given hence his lack of emotional engagement. Or it could be his personality, you'd know that better than us so he may not express himself in the same way. He may feel the same way as you, so this could help you both as well step it up to something more exclusive. but someone has to make the first move.
Ultimately, think what you want and what that'll mean for you and both, tell him and see what he says. It might go how you want, or it might not.
I think you need to establish what your current relationship is and what you want it to be from your perspective, and what that'll mean and look like for you and and then have a sit down and speak to him about what he wants and see if your both on the same page, be aware, it might not go how you expect.
How did the relationship start? Who initiated it? What's the context? in college or at work? That might effect some of this too.
From your post, you want a more emotionally intimate relationship but not a more physical one. Some might describe that as a 'boyfriend without the benefits' in some ways. If you want a more or purely platonic relationship and make him more a "friend", then you should probably reconsider the physical side to avoid the mixed messages for both of you. That is probably adding to the confusion.
If you want a boyfriend, and feel your getting there or are in the position to step up into an exclusive relationship, then tell him how you're feeling and what you want from him and take it from there. See how he responds. If its not how you would hope, then you'll need to ask yourself what you want to do.
He may not see your relationship the same way as you. He may see you as FWB or just a friend, given hence his lack of emotional engagement. Or it could be his personality, you'd know that better than us so he may not express himself in the same way. He may feel the same way as you, so this could help you both as well step it up to something more exclusive. but someone has to make the first move.
Ultimately, think what you want and what that'll mean for you and both, tell him and see what he says. It might go how you want, or it might not.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousI care deeply about my best friend, but lately, I’ve been feeling like the effort and value I place in our connection isn’t fully reciprocated. We talk often and share a lot, but we’re not part of the same friend group, which can make things feel a bit distant. I’ve developed feelings for him over time—this is MLM, by the way. We’ve shared some flirty moments, hugs, little kisses, and more personal conversations. Things have even gone further at times, though it’s hard to talk about openly. The thing is, I’m not looking for a full-on relationship with him. I just want to feel more seen, appreciated, and valued for what we do share. If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, I’d really appreciate hearing it.
If its right, you feel it right. If it doesnt feel right, its compromise. Which will eventually fade away
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