Loneliness

2

How do you meet people. I always struggle around people, never knowing what to say. Always doubting myself, maybe over sharing things which are deep. I don't have any friends, it doesn't seem like anyone wants to know me.

Reply 1

TheROOKZ

10

Hey there! Look, it may not seem like it but you're not alone - meeting people and getting to build friendships and relationships is difficult and painful believe me. 2-3 years ago, I struggled so hard with making convos and friends and buidling relationships but you have to try. Honestly, start casual and over time get deep and personal with the people that see and accept you for who you are - it may be long and sometimes relationships and friendships u make will switch up and change but once u find the people and group of friends that can gel with u, ull be accepted absolutely 🙂 Hope this hhhelps btw and if u need smone to talk to - uve got all of us here including me :smile:

.

Reply 2

33G

OP

2

Original post

by TheROOKZ

Hey there! Look, it may not seem like it but you're not alone - meeting people and getting to build friendships and relationships is difficult and painful believe me. 2-3 years ago, I struggled so hard with making convos and friends and buidling relationships but you have to try. Honestly, start casual and over time get deep and personal with the people that see and accept you for who you are - it may be long and sometimes relationships and friendships u make will switch up and change but once u find the people and group of friends that can gel with u, ull be accepted absolutely 🙂 Hope this hhhelps btw and if u need smone to talk to - uve got all of us here including me :smile:

.

😀 Thank you for your response, it's good to hear from someone that has been there. It's weird because I feel uncomfortable around people but im longing for that connection. Obviously it probably takes time to form bonds but the thing with me is I'm way to serious a lot of the time. I just want to have fun and meet friends along the way and love life but proving harder. Its that initial meet I think but I struggle in any social situation, I always have

Reply 3

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post

by 33G

How do you meet people. I always struggle around people, never knowing what to say. Always doubting myself, maybe over sharing things which are deep. I don't have any friends, it doesn't seem like anyone wants to know me.

I think you'd be best off trying to meet people in a natural environment. Look to joining a club or an evening class of some description. Have a think of the kind of things that interest you... or something you've always wanted to try but have been putting it off (for whatever reason). Ever thought about joining a running club? How about something like Art / Drama? Maybe a dance class or even volunteering at a charity of some sort? If you join an evening class, most times people are pretty welcoming there... although it's important to have a genuine interest in whatever the activity is there.

The activity at the club will immediately give you something in common with everyone else there, and will also provide a safe talking point. Asking someone how to do something is an easy (if obvious) ice breaker. Quite often, you'll also be required to go in different groups, so that gives you an opportunity to interact with most people there. Moreover, they often have some kind of social event from time to time.

OK, so you're at your new club/ class and you want to get to know some of your new class mates... what should you talk about? Most people (especially girls / women) love to talk about themselves, and their "oh-so-interesting" lives... so nod along and pay attention to whatever rubbish they're rabbiting on about. The key thing to do here is you need to seem pleasantly intrigued without coming across as "nosey" or like you're giving them the Spanish Inquisition. Stay away from any deep subjects like religion, politics or world crises / disasters, and keep the conversation light and friendly. If you get stuck, you can use the FOREplay mnemonic, which is useful for that "getting to know you" chit-chat for most occasions, I'll explain:-

•

F= Family:- What city / country are they from? Do they have any siblings, pets etc.

•

O- Occupation:- What do they do or want to do as a living? Is it "just a job", a career or a passion?

•

R= Recreation:- What are their other hobbies / interests? Can also chat about the latest EastEnders plot or whatever's trending on Netflix / Reality TV

•

E= Education:- What were their school / Uni days like? Where and what did they study? Were they good or bad days etc.

Talking about sports is fine with guys (until you reveal you're a Man Utd guy and he's a Man City boy lol). Ditto with other "guy" stuff like cars... less likely to work with girls, and don't talk about fashion (unless you really know your Gucci's from your Armani's. No one wants to hear about a major crisis you're dealing with. People (especially girls) hate uncomfortable silences... so if you feel one coming on, make your excuses and cut the conversation short (you can always chat to them a bit later or some other time).

Oh, and don't over think things by wondering what they're thinking about you... just go in and assume that they already know that you're the Article Don Gorgon. Kinda like an "act like a king to get treated like a king" dynamic.

(edited 8 months ago)

Reply 4

33G

OP

2

Thank you for the piece of advice. I'm definitely think im going to join a club. I will get looking. I know I need to do this for me. I just have to put myself out there, definitely the first step to a new better me 😀

Reply 5

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post

by 33G

Thank you for the piece of advice. I'm definitely think im going to join a club. I will get looking. I know I need to do this for me. I just have to put myself out there, definitely the first step to a new better me 😀

No worries bro 🙂

Best of luck (you'll smash it) and if you need any further help, let us know

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