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I can’t do anything right

Hi, I’m over 18 and still living at home. Recently, my dad and I built a new desk together. At one point, I decided I wanted to take the initiative and put the desk in my room by myself.

I made sure to be safe. I changed from open-toe sandals to trainers just in case anything heavy dropped, and I took my time moving it slowly and carefully. I genuinely just wanted to prove to myself (and maybe to him) that I’m capable of doing things on my own.

But when my dad heard the noise, he came in and basically told me I was foolish for trying to do it without help. He didn’t care that I was being careful or that I was trying to show responsibility. He just dismissed it as naive and stupid.

It’s not just this one moment. I feel like I’m constantly being controlled. Whenever I try to speak up or explain myself, he just shouts over me, and I’m not allowed to have my own voice. I feel like I’m always being talked down to or treated like I don’t know what I’m doing.

It’s honestly making me feel like a failure. I try to be responsible, to show initiative, and it just ends up backfiring. I feel like I can’t win no matter what I do.

Has anyone else gone through this?

Reply 1

Username123ab

Yep, you grow up super sheltered and basically not allowed to do anything for yourself whilst also being mocked for not knowing how to do the things you were never allowed or shown how to do at an appropriate age to learn them, then one day, usually at about 18, it randomly gets switched up to telling you it's your own fault for never learning how to do basic tasks. Unfortunately you have to move out and have a private place to teach yourself those basic tasks where you won't be mocked or yelled at if you do it wrong the first time. I say this as a former 18 year old multiple times watcher of "how to use a washing machine in 5 easy steps" YouTube tutorial lol