Was I wrong to complain about money to rich friend

So I have a really wealthy friend, his family are worth like £50 million and he himself already has a few million in his trust fund.

We’re pretty good friends known eachother since uni and recently I’ve been going through money troubles (my credit card is maxed out and also my current account overdraft is maxed) and interest on both is like 35-40% APR so I’m unable to keep up with interest payments etc which means every month I become even more in debt and now I’m stuck in a cycle.

I was just casually complaining to him over text like “f****ck I’m so broke now man” and sent him a screen shot of my bank account and credit card showing how much debt I have saying “idk how I’m gonna pay this off” etc…

I genuinely was just doing this for conversation and in a way laugh about it and have someone to talk it through with.. but it’s been a couple days and he hasn’t replied.

Now I’m worried he may have thought I was trying to ask him for money given he is rich (I 100% wasn’t I just wanted to chat about it with a friend) but do you think he may have assumed I was begging or trying to use him/subtly ask him to give me money?

Should I say anything to him and do you think I should keep things like this to myself going forward and not talk about it with friends? I’m quite an open person so I would open up about this just to talk it through, not to beg for money from friends

Reply 1

Mikeju

No you gotta do what you need to do

Reply 2

ageshallnot

Original post

by Anonymous

So I have a really wealthy friend, his family are worth like £50 million and he himself already has a few million in his trust fund.
We’re pretty good friends known eachother since uni and recently I’ve been going through money troubles (my credit card is maxed out and also my current account overdraft is maxed) and interest on both is like 35-40% APR so I’m unable to keep up with interest payments etc which means every month I become even more in debt and now I’m stuck in a cycle.
I was just casually complaining to him over text like “f****ck I’m so broke now man” and sent him a screen shot of my bank account and credit card showing how much debt I have saying “idk how I’m gonna pay this off” etc…
I genuinely was just doing this for conversation and in a way laugh about it and have someone to talk it through with.. but it’s been a couple days and he hasn’t replied.
Now I’m worried he may have thought I was trying to ask him for money given he is rich (I 100% wasn’t I just wanted to chat about it with a friend) but do you think he may have assumed I was begging or trying to use him/subtly ask him to give me money?
Should I say anything to him and do you think I should keep things like this to myself going forward and not talk about it with friends? I’m quite an open person so I would open up about this just to talk it through, not to beg for money from friends

If you're paying 35-40% interest you need to sort that out asap.

Reply 3

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

I don't know, sending a picture of your bank account is kind of weird. It's one thing to lament to a friend you have no money (I do it all the time lol...), it's another (pretty odd) thing to send a screenshot of your bank account to them, even if they weren't very rich. And given they are probably did come across as you asking for money, whether you intended to (consciously or subconsciously) or not.

As above your financial situation is more than just not having money, if you are maxed out on credit at very high interest rates that suggests you're borrowing more than you can afford to repay while having poor credit to begin with (as otherwise why couldn't you get a better rate for your credit borrowing...) and that's a problem. You may need to look realistically at your finances and your outgoing expenses and look to cut back in places and/or look for ways to earn more (working more hours for example) to solve the underlying issue.

You probably should speak to a financial advisor e.g. at your bank or the CAB about your debt issues for the more immediate term of managing that, before they spiral further. They may be able to advise you on ways to consolidate bits of debt or otherwise manage it day to day but it sounds like there's a deeper problem at play than just "had to spend all my overdraft this month and my credit card last month due to XYZ out of the blue things happening back to back".

Reply 4

Dunnig Kruger

Yes it was a mistake to mention your financial situation to your friend.
Friendship should be kept independent of money.

Contact your friend and apologise to him for sending that screenshot. And for going on about your debts.
And try to never go on about your personal financial situation to him ever again.

Reply 5

Kathy89

"Hey, maybe you got me wrong, I wasn't asking for money, I just needed a shoulder to cry on.
Sorry if I made you feel like I'm using you. I value our friendship more than money and I hope I didn't make you feel bad or used, it wasn't my intention..."

Or something like that... I hope it could help.

I must also add that it is not nice of him ignoring you without talking about it. I feel like he may be not feeling good about being rich.

Reply 6

Pgavaza

Definitely it wasn’t cool to send a screenshot of your bank statement . It would send the wrong signal to him that you were indirectly asking for money ti solve your problem . It would help to apologize to him . Yeah those interest rates are too high and should be addressed as others have pointed out above

Reply 7

StriderHort

Yeah that looks a lot like begging for money, people don't generally send each other bank statements to hammer home a point. The unsubtle hinting would annoy some people a lot more than just directly asking them for help.

As others have said, these sort of interest rates just aren't suitable or sustainable to carry long term debts on, you'll end up paying so much more than you even borrowed just in interest. It might be worth considering independent advice with a view to stopping the card/s, freezing the intertest and entering some kind of pay down plan.