Feeling genuinely sick about leaving for university

So I leave for uni Saturday morning. I’ve been crying about it all week, and I have no appetite. Whenever I think about actually leaving on that day it just gets me. And knowing that my mum will be left (and my cats and little brother) really upsets me. I do want to go to university, but I really don’t want to leave my family. I feel like I’m not ready, and if I’m like this now how will I cope when Im actually at university? It’ll cost quite a lot to go home, so I can’t do it regularly. I imagine I’ll only be able to go home once before Christmas. My sister said they during freshets she’ll come visit me (she’s going to uni currently, about 2 hours away from mine) and I’m also concerned that if I see her I’ll just start crying again.

Will this feeling go away? It’s making me rethink my choice to go to uni. It’s annoying because my degree is required for the job I want to do.

Reply 1

McGinger

Read - Freshers' week: What I wish I knew before going to university - BBC News

Feeling nervous is totally normal - everyone else will be as well. Unis are very used to that feeling and everything about Freshers etc is designed to help you settle in and start to get to know everyone. Once you get there and get going, you will wonder what you were so worried about.

Reply 2

Kingston Eve

Official Rep

Original post

by me143

So I leave for uni Saturday morning. I’ve been crying about it all week, and I have no appetite. Whenever I think about actually leaving on that day it just gets me. And knowing that my mum will be left (and my cats and little brother) really upsets me. I do want to go to university, but I really don’t want to leave my family. I feel like I’m not ready, and if I’m like this now how will I cope when Im actually at university? It’ll cost quite a lot to go home, so I can’t do it regularly. I imagine I’ll only be able to go home once before Christmas. My sister said they during freshets she’ll come visit me (she’s going to uni currently, about 2 hours away from mine) and I’m also concerned that if I see her I’ll just start crying again.
Will this feeling go away? It’s making me rethink my choice to go to uni. It’s annoying because my degree is required for the job I want to do.

Hey @me143,

Although the idea of going to university can definitely be intimidating, it's important to remember that what you're feeling now is completely normal. When I first came to Kingston, I was nervous to leave my family as well - especially since I knew I wouldn't be able to see them until Christmas and we'd never spent that long apart before. However, within a week or two I had settled into university life and was enjoying my independence. I still had occasional periods of homesickness, but I knew my family were just a call away no matter where I was. Your family want you to succeed; try not to think of your time at uni as 'leaving' them and instead think of it as a long vacation. Your first term will fly by! 🙂

Best of luck,
Eve (Kingston Rep).

Reply 3

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

Original post

by me143

So I leave for uni Saturday morning. I’ve been crying about it all week, and I have no appetite. Whenever I think about actually leaving on that day it just gets me. And knowing that my mum will be left (and my cats and little brother) really upsets me. I do want to go to university, but I really don’t want to leave my family. I feel like I’m not ready, and if I’m like this now how will I cope when Im actually at university? It’ll cost quite a lot to go home, so I can’t do it regularly. I imagine I’ll only be able to go home once before Christmas. My sister said they during freshets she’ll come visit me (she’s going to uni currently, about 2 hours away from mine) and I’m also concerned that if I see her I’ll just start crying again.
Will this feeling go away? It’s making me rethink my choice to go to uni. It’s annoying because my degree is required for the job I want to do.

Hi @me143,

Being anxious about starting university is a very common feeling and you are not the only one to feel like this so do not worry! It can feel very daunting, especially moving away to a complete new place where you don't know many people. When I moved to Liverpool for uni, I did not know a single person here, however after just one day I had already met some really nice people that I am now living with in a house for second year!

It is completely normal to miss your family and pets as you are so used to having them around all the time but like you have mentioned, you will have opportunities to see them and it would be great if your sister could come and visit you! My brother is at uni in Salford so only about 40 minutes away and if he has come to visit or I have gone over it is so nice to see a familiar face!

The feeling will go away, it might feel like it wont but I can assure you it will and you will start to feel better about it all when you are moved in! Try and make your room all homely and get some picture frames is my best advice. You don't want to be sat in a dark dingy room, so even something as simple as some lights, or pictures can make it a lot better!

I hope this response has helped slightly, let me know if you have any other questions, I am more than happy to help!

Thanks, Matt 🙂
Official LJMU Student Rep

Reply 4

University of Bradford

Official Rep

Original post

by me143

So I leave for uni Saturday morning. I’ve been crying about it all week, and I have no appetite. Whenever I think about actually leaving on that day it just gets me. And knowing that my mum will be left (and my cats and little brother) really upsets me. I do want to go to university, but I really don’t want to leave my family. I feel like I’m not ready, and if I’m like this now how will I cope when Im actually at university? It’ll cost quite a lot to go home, so I can’t do it regularly. I imagine I’ll only be able to go home once before Christmas. My sister said they during freshets she’ll come visit me (she’s going to uni currently, about 2 hours away from mine) and I’m also concerned that if I see her I’ll just start crying again.
Will this feeling go away? It’s making me rethink my choice to go to uni. It’s annoying because my degree is required for the job I want to do.

Hi @me143. Its completely normal to feel this way considering your so far away from home. As soon as you start making new friends and learning new things and experiencing university life then you will not feel as sad. While your at University you can get a part time job to help with cost of transport when going back home to see your family! You will settle in soon so do not worry, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Kiran

Reply 5

Popcornthepuppy

Original post

by me143

So I leave for uni Saturday morning. I’ve been crying about it all week, and I have no appetite. Whenever I think about actually leaving on that day it just gets me. And knowing that my mum will be left (and my cats and little brother) really upsets me. I do want to go to university, but I really don’t want to leave my family. I feel like I’m not ready, and if I’m like this now how will I cope when Im actually at university? It’ll cost quite a lot to go home, so I can’t do it regularly. I imagine I’ll only be able to go home once before Christmas. My sister said they during freshets she’ll come visit me (she’s going to uni currently, about 2 hours away from mine) and I’m also concerned that if I see her I’ll just start crying again.
Will this feeling go away? It’s making me rethink my choice to go to uni. It’s annoying because my degree is required for the job I want to do.

Hii, I'm leaving on Sunday and I'm feeling pretty similar 😭😭 I wish you the best of luck!!

Although it can feel like uni might be the wrong decision, the best thing is to definitely try! You'd regret it if you were too anxious to go and didn't end up leaving constantly wondering if you'd make the right decision. If you really hate uni and can't cope dropping out is always an option!! And then you could reapply to a uni closer to home next year. There's also often the ability to transfer to another uni next year and continue the course so you may be able to continue your degree but commute at a closer uni and just stick it out for a year!

As for transport it's annoying it so expensive but research other options such as coaches and then you can come home often on weekends! For example, it will cost me £80+ on the train to get home but less than £10 using flixbus or national express!! Or although it may take a long time you could possibly get a bus from your uni towards home and then get a train where it may be cheaper in some way if that makes sense? Or maybe you could meet your family halfway between uni and home?

Another thing that may be helpful to know is even if you can't travel back, you'll still be home at least 5 months of the year with your family as we have long holidays!

Obviously it doesn't always substitute real life but you can always call your family as well!

Goodluck and Try think of positives of going away such as getting the degree fr your dream job! But remember if you can't cope you aren't trapped!! You've got this 🤞

Reply 6

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post

by me143

So I leave for uni Saturday morning. I’ve been crying about it all week, and I have no appetite. Whenever I think about actually leaving on that day it just gets me. And knowing that my mum will be left (and my cats and little brother) really upsets me. I do want to go to university, but I really don’t want to leave my family. I feel like I’m not ready, and if I’m like this now how will I cope when Im actually at university? It’ll cost quite a lot to go home, so I can’t do it regularly. I imagine I’ll only be able to go home once before Christmas. My sister said they during freshets she’ll come visit me (she’s going to uni currently, about 2 hours away from mine) and I’m also concerned that if I see her I’ll just start crying again.
Will this feeling go away? It’s making me rethink my choice to go to uni. It’s annoying because my degree is required for the job I want to do.

Hi @me143

It's totally normal, and this feeling wont go away immediately. I found that video calling my parents helped a lot, or I'd watch the same TV shows as them and text them my opinions live!

It's going to be a really weird transition, and the first few weeks you will be stressed, sick, overtired, and wishing you were back home so someone could take care of you. Make sure you have a well stocked medicine box with plenty of lemsip!

Rebecca (Lancaster Student Ambassador)

Reply 7

University of Bath

Official Rep

@me143 @Popcornthepuppy -

Everything you have been feeling is totally normal, so please don't worry, and however nerve-wracking it feels, once you settle into a routine things will get a lot more familiar to you and it won't be half as difficult as you're fearing. Just give yourself time to settle in.

It would be lovely to hear how you have been finding life at your unis in Freshers' week if you have the chance and are happy to share so others going through a similar journey can learn from it!

Best of luck with this week and beyond 🙂

University of Bath

Reply 8

University of Salford Student Rep

Official Rep

Original post

by me143

So I leave for uni Saturday morning. I’ve been crying about it all week, and I have no appetite. Whenever I think about actually leaving on that day it just gets me. And knowing that my mum will be left (and my cats and little brother) really upsets me. I do want to go to university, but I really don’t want to leave my family. I feel like I’m not ready, and if I’m like this now how will I cope when Im actually at university? It’ll cost quite a lot to go home, so I can’t do it regularly. I imagine I’ll only be able to go home once before Christmas. My sister said they during freshets she’ll come visit me (she’s going to uni currently, about 2 hours away from mine) and I’m also concerned that if I see her I’ll just start crying again.
Will this feeling go away? It’s making me rethink my choice to go to uni. It’s annoying because my degree is required for the job I want to do.

Hi there 😊

Just jumping on here to let you know these feelings won't last, you will find your feet and you absolutely will be okay 💝going to university is a big change and many people struggle with this transition period. It's important to keep reaching out to others and talking about these feelings, just like you're doing now - see you're already doing great!

Like with any big change the build up to the event can be the worst bit. There's lots of time for different worries to pop into your head which can start to pile up and create these feelings of overwhelm. It's okay to cry and have feelings of sadness about moving away from your home life, but thinking about why you are doing this and all the amazing additions to your life you have coming up might help to overcome this. Like you say, getting this degree will help you for the job you want to do, so it's amazing that you're taking the steps now to achieving this! Additionally, just like these close bonds you have with your family and pets, there is a whole world of new people for you to meet and surround yourself with and hopefully form some close friendships with too ❤️

Your home isn't going anywhere and neither is the support from your family. There is the option to visit, or for them to visit you, and whilst this can be expensive and a little more limited you can still book a time in your calendar for when the next visit will be so you have it to look forward to. Hopefully your sister can stop by as a little perk, but there will be plenty of exploration in your new environment to keep you busy if not 😊 how about planning in some days for you where you will go explore your local city or the surrounding areas, and then you can call your family to tell them all about it and show them some photos in the evening? This could be a good thing to invite any new flatmates to go do with you too!

You can cope and things will change. It may take time and may not be instant, but that doesn't mean you can't do it and there are lots of people there to help you along the way. There are so many support systems available at university which I really recommend reaching out to if you're struggling. At my university there is a wellbeing and counselling service who provide all sorts of support, such as phone line support, self-help resources or counselling sessions. I have used these myself for both short and longer term support and this has really helped me over the years - they are there to help you cope and will advise the best support so please reach out to your own university services if you need to and look after yourself 😊 if you're struggling to find any services reach out to your Programme Leader, Students Union, or really any staff at the uni and they will point you in the right direction, it really is okay to ask for help whenever you need.

I hope this gives you some reassurance. We are all stronger than we think and university is great time to discover this ☺️ keep your head up, look after yourself, reach out when you need and go for it - you've got this! 💫

Becky
University of Salford Student Rep

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