Just started uni…
Ive just started uni, moved in yesterday and it’s harder than I thought. It’s only my first full day and I have bee lucky with flatmates tbat arw nice, but I don’t fully click with them (I’m aware flatmates don’t often fully click). Theyre all big om nights out whereas I am not at all, I love peaceful activities and early nights but we’re all going to a party tonight that’s 10-2, im personally dreading it as we went to the pub yesterday and that was bad enough. I really want to meet more people and I think I’ll find my people but I’m finding it hard to make conversation with people other than the same old questions, especially if they say they don’t have hobbies etc. any advice on conversation starters and homesickness will be greatly appreciated. Every time I look at a picture of my cat or even think about home I want to cry and just go home which I know will get easier with time but any general tips would be great! Thanks for reading this mini rant 
Reply 1
Original post
by Lettuce272Ive just started uni, moved in yesterday and it’s harder than I thought. It’s only my first full day and I have bee lucky with flatmates tbat arw nice, but I don’t fully click with them (I’m aware flatmates don’t often fully click). Theyre all big om nights out whereas I am not at all, I love peaceful activities and early nights but we’re all going to a party tonight that’s 10-2, im personally dreading it as we went to the pub yesterday and that was bad enough. I really want to meet more people and I think I’ll find my people but I’m finding it hard to make conversation with people other than the same old questions, especially if they say they don’t have hobbies etc. any advice on conversation starters and homesickness will be greatly appreciated. Every time I look at a picture of my cat or even think about home I want to cry and just go home which I know will get easier with time but any general tips would be great! Thanks for reading this mini rant
sorry to hear about what ur going through but trust me it gets better!! the people you befriend at the start of uni in most cases won’t be ur lifelong friends it tends to take a year or so in uni to finally find ur people, first weeks are the hardest you just have to pull through it :- ) uni is a big place and there is really someone for everyone regarding homesickness i tend to remind myself that this is what’s best for me and that you should always leave your comfort zone! hope the upcoming weeks go smoothly for you
Reply 2
20
Just remember that early days are often just people showing off or being far too 'peppy just from nervousness. It will all calm down, and in a few weeks you may discover that actually one or two of your flatmates are not what they first seemed and you quite like them. And - once you get going on Freshers stuff, introduction sessions for your course, first lectures etc etc, you will meet lots of other people, so no need to over-worry about 'friends' quite yet. I met my best friend from Uni standing on a train platform in the first week of teaching - we were on entirely different courses and would never have met any other way. It'll happen, don't worry. The first weekend is weird - it isnt how its going to be longer-term, honest.
Tip - every day write yourself a sticky note about something nice that happened. Walking through autumn leaves, something silly someone said, an interesting moment in class, you discovered the best toasted sandwich on campus etc. Stick all the sticky notes on the wall. After a couple of days, you will have positive things to look at and think about instead of feeling worried about it all.
Tip - every day write yourself a sticky note about something nice that happened. Walking through autumn leaves, something silly someone said, an interesting moment in class, you discovered the best toasted sandwich on campus etc. Stick all the sticky notes on the wall. After a couple of days, you will have positive things to look at and think about instead of feeling worried about it all.
Reply 3
Original post
by Lettuce272Ive just started uni, moved in yesterday and it’s harder than I thought. It’s only my first full day and I have bee lucky with flatmates tbat arw nice, but I don’t fully click with them (I’m aware flatmates don’t often fully click). Theyre all big om nights out whereas I am not at all, I love peaceful activities and early nights but we’re all going to a party tonight that’s 10-2, im personally dreading it as we went to the pub yesterday and that was bad enough. I really want to meet more people and I think I’ll find my people but I’m finding it hard to make conversation with people other than the same old questions, especially if they say they don’t have hobbies etc. any advice on conversation starters and homesickness will be greatly appreciated. Every time I look at a picture of my cat or even think about home I want to cry and just go home which I know will get easier with time but any general tips would be great! Thanks for reading this mini rant
Hi @Lettuce272
Sorry to hear about the situation that you have found yourself in. Do not worry tho as it is completely normal and many people will be feeling like you are!
You are right in saying that it is very hit and miss with getting along with flatmates but aslong as they are nice to you and you get on with them enough to be able to have conversations and go to the pub with them etc then that is more than enough! Have you started your course properly yet? When you start your course you will be introduced to many more new people and you will all have a common interest so it will be easier to click with people! Everyone exaggerates on the drinking aspect of uni and it gets made to feel like you have to go out partying all the time when in actual fact that is not the case!
Have you considered joining a club or a society? They are a great way to meet people and do something fun that doesn't involve alcohol! There are clubs and societies for all kinds of different things it doesn't have to be sports related, your uni. might have a freshers fair coming up or it might have already passed but you will be able to join at any point in the year.
Homesickness is a very normal thing to experience at uni, it is a big change but it will get better trust me! Keeping yourself busy and doing little things here and there to distract yourself is my best advice. As mentioned anything from a walk or going to get some food with a friend are good things to do! It always takes me a week or 2 to get back into the swing of things when I come back up to Liverpool so don't feel as though it is a bad thing if it takes you couple of weeks to adjust!
I hope this response has helped, let me know if you have any other questions, I am more than happy to help!
Thanks, Matt 🙂
Official LJMU Student Rep
Reply 4
Original post
by Lettuce272Ive just started uni, moved in yesterday and it’s harder than I thought. It’s only my first full day and I have bee lucky with flatmates tbat arw nice, but I don’t fully click with them (I’m aware flatmates don’t often fully click). Theyre all big om nights out whereas I am not at all, I love peaceful activities and early nights but we’re all going to a party tonight that’s 10-2, im personally dreading it as we went to the pub yesterday and that was bad enough. I really want to meet more people and I think I’ll find my people but I’m finding it hard to make conversation with people other than the same old questions, especially if they say they don’t have hobbies etc. any advice on conversation starters and homesickness will be greatly appreciated. Every time I look at a picture of my cat or even think about home I want to cry and just go home which I know will get easier with time but any general tips would be great! Thanks for reading this mini rant
First of all, what you’re feeling is completely normal. Those first few days at uni can feel really overwhelming, and it definitely takes time to find your people. It’s a good start that your flatmates are nice, even if you don’t click with them straight away. That doesn’t mean you won’t make other friends who share your interests.
If big nights out aren’t your thing, that’s totally fine. There are lots of other ways to meet people: joining societies, going to study groups, volunteering, or just chatting to someone in lectures. You’ll often find others who also prefer quieter activities, and those friendships can turn out to be really meaningful.
When it comes to conversations, simple works best. Ask about their course, how they’re finding their first week, or even where they’re from. Most people are just as nervous and often relieved when someone else takes the first step.
Homesickness is also very common at the start. Having small comforts from home, like photos or snacks, helps, and calling family or friends when you need to is completely okay. Try to balance that with giving uni life a chance – it really does get easier once you settle into a routine.
You’ve only just arrived, so give yourself some time. Uni isn’t about finding your best friends in the first couple of days. Real connections come naturally over time, so be kind to yourself and trust that things will fall into place. 💜
Jhoan
Digital Media - Final Year
London Metropolitan University
Reply 5
Hi Lettuce,
If its any consolation, its perfectly normal to feel how you're feeling and whilst its not nice at the time, it will get easier.
I too had flatmates who loved going out/staying up late etc, whereas I have always been more of an introvert who's worst nightmare would be a party late at night/early in the morning with a big crowd!
Your flatmates will likely soon get to know more about what you're like and what you like/do not like to do - this does not mean you will be left out. As soon as my flatmates clicked that I wasn't a party animal who didn't drink, they were absolutely fine and chilled out about it - turns out I wasn't the only one in the flat who was an introvert, either.
Its great that you're putting yourself out there to meet people, but please don't force yourself to do anything you really don't want to do. Perhaps on one of the nights of Welcome Week, suggest a games night or a movie night, or a trip out to town to get dinner in Nandos etc - there are also a lot of things you can do to meet others which don't involve partying and going out such as joining a society, becoming a student ambassador or taking up a new sport.
When things get more familiar and you settle into a routine, things will fall more into place and you'll be fine 🙂
I hope this helps -
University of Bath
If its any consolation, its perfectly normal to feel how you're feeling and whilst its not nice at the time, it will get easier.
I too had flatmates who loved going out/staying up late etc, whereas I have always been more of an introvert who's worst nightmare would be a party late at night/early in the morning with a big crowd!
Your flatmates will likely soon get to know more about what you're like and what you like/do not like to do - this does not mean you will be left out. As soon as my flatmates clicked that I wasn't a party animal who didn't drink, they were absolutely fine and chilled out about it - turns out I wasn't the only one in the flat who was an introvert, either.
Its great that you're putting yourself out there to meet people, but please don't force yourself to do anything you really don't want to do. Perhaps on one of the nights of Welcome Week, suggest a games night or a movie night, or a trip out to town to get dinner in Nandos etc - there are also a lot of things you can do to meet others which don't involve partying and going out such as joining a society, becoming a student ambassador or taking up a new sport.
When things get more familiar and you settle into a routine, things will fall more into place and you'll be fine 🙂
I hope this helps -
University of Bath
Reply 6
Original post
by Lettuce272Ive just started uni, moved in yesterday and it’s harder than I thought. It’s only my first full day and I have bee lucky with flatmates tbat arw nice, but I don’t fully click with them (I’m aware flatmates don’t often fully click). Theyre all big om nights out whereas I am not at all, I love peaceful activities and early nights but we’re all going to a party tonight that’s 10-2, im personally dreading it as we went to the pub yesterday and that was bad enough. I really want to meet more people and I think I’ll find my people but I’m finding it hard to make conversation with people other than the same old questions, especially if they say they don’t have hobbies etc. any advice on conversation starters and homesickness will be greatly appreciated. Every time I look at a picture of my cat or even think about home I want to cry and just go home which I know will get easier with time but any general tips would be great! Thanks for reading this mini rant
There is no rule that you have to be mates with your flatmates. Some people make friends in the boat club or on the football pitch or music room or lecture hall. You should explore and try to join clubs and societies that interest you.
Good luck
Reply 7
Original post
by Lettuce272Ive just started uni, moved in yesterday and it’s harder than I thought. It’s only my first full day and I have bee lucky with flatmates tbat arw nice, but I don’t fully click with them (I’m aware flatmates don’t often fully click). Theyre all big om nights out whereas I am not at all, I love peaceful activities and early nights but we’re all going to a party tonight that’s 10-2, im personally dreading it as we went to the pub yesterday and that was bad enough. I really want to meet more people and I think I’ll find my people but I’m finding it hard to make conversation with people other than the same old questions, especially if they say they don’t have hobbies etc. any advice on conversation starters and homesickness will be greatly appreciated. Every time I look at a picture of my cat or even think about home I want to cry and just go home which I know will get easier with time but any general tips would be great! Thanks for reading this mini rant
Hey,
What you're feeling is completely normal, especially since you just moved in. It's a huge change, and there is a lot to take in all at once. The first few days are often the hardest, and the fact that you're being so proactive and thoughtful about it is a great sign.
You're right, it's totally okay if you don't fully click with your flatmates, and it's also okay to have different interests. You'll definitely find your people; it just takes time.
Making a Conversation
It’s normal to get tired of the same old questions! A way to start a conversation and move beyond the basics is to ask open-ended questions specific to your shared situation.
•
"How are you finding the course so far?"
•
"Are you planning on joining any societies or clubs?"
•
"What do you think of the campus?"
•
"Have you found the library/gym/best coffee spot yet?"
Hope this helps!😊
Rachel
(Third Year)
Undergraduate Multimedia Journalism
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