Very anxious about leaving for uni

I feel so trapped. I've been crying on and off for weeks about leaving for uni and I'm leaving tomorrow morning.

I feel sick about leaving my hometown and my family particularly my twin sister. My family is now fed up with me being upset and calling my crying "ridiculous" as I have such an opportunity. And I'm not thinking enough of the positives.They think I'm just going to ruin it by being upset but I can't help it that I just want to stay home!

Furthermore, I was feeling better by reassuring myself I can come home on weekends when I want to, yet my parents have discouraged this saying I won't make any friends f I come home on weekend (I disagree tho) so now I feel unwelcome to come home when I feel like and idk when I'll next see my family as I've asked if we can make plans and they brush if off sayig I won't want to see them cos I'll be too busy. But honestly I don't want the same uni experience they have, going out everyday id rather have a much more chill time which they don't understand. It makes me feel so much more upset. they do not at all understand how I'm feeling and dismiss my feelings.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore I do want to go to uni but now I feel unsupported and don't know how I'll get through it. I feel like if I struggle they'll just say I'm not trying hard enough but they don't understand

Does anyone have advice on how to cope with homesickness on your own??

Reply 1

cksiu

Universities Forum Helper

Original post

by Popcornthepuppy

I feel so trapped. I've been crying on and off for weeks about leaving for uni and I'm leaving tomorrow morning.
I feel sick about leaving my hometown and my family particularly my twin sister. My family is now fed up with me being upset and calling my crying "ridiculous" as I have such an opportunity. And I'm not thinking enough of the positives.They think I'm just going to ruin it by being upset but I can't help it that I just want to stay home!
Furthermore, I was feeling better by reassuring myself I can come home on weekends when I want to, yet my parents have discouraged this saying I won't make any friends f I come home on weekend (I disagree tho) so now I feel unwelcome to come home when I feel like and idk when I'll next see my family as I've asked if we can make plans and they brush if off sayig I won't want to see them cos I'll be too busy. But honestly I don't want the same uni experience they have, going out everyday id rather have a much more chill time which they don't understand. It makes me feel so much more upset. they do not at all understand how I'm feeling and dismiss my feelings.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore I do want to go to uni but now I feel unsupported and don't know how I'll get through it. I feel like if I struggle they'll just say I'm not trying hard enough but they don't understand
Does anyone have advice on how to cope with homesickness on your own??

Many foregoner has the same feeling with you. It is not to be ashamed of.

Uni life is a taster of individuality. It takes time to adjust after living for 18 or so years with the family, especially you have a twin sister.

Friends (hallmates, flatmates and classmates) may organise weekend activities but most of the time they would have their own weekend schedules/plans so you will be free, going home is a good time-out if not too far away. You won't lose any friend merely because of visiting the family.

Most important is to share your feelings with your uni friends, I am sure they will be understanding and supportive. So do you. Good luck.

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 2

UEA Rep Daniel

Official Rep

Original post

by Popcornthepuppy

I feel so trapped. I've been crying on and off for weeks about leaving for uni and I'm leaving tomorrow morning.
I feel sick about leaving my hometown and my family particularly my twin sister. My family is now fed up with me being upset and calling my crying "ridiculous" as I have such an opportunity. And I'm not thinking enough of the positives.They think I'm just going to ruin it by being upset but I can't help it that I just want to stay home!
Furthermore, I was feeling better by reassuring myself I can come home on weekends when I want to, yet my parents have discouraged this saying I won't make any friends f I come home on weekend (I disagree tho) so now I feel unwelcome to come home when I feel like and idk when I'll next see my family as I've asked if we can make plans and they brush if off sayig I won't want to see them cos I'll be too busy. But honestly I don't want the same uni experience they have, going out everyday id rather have a much more chill time which they don't understand. It makes me feel so much more upset. they do not at all understand how I'm feeling and dismiss my feelings.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore I do want to go to uni but now I feel unsupported and don't know how I'll get through it. I feel like if I struggle they'll just say I'm not trying hard enough but they don't understand
Does anyone have advice on how to cope with homesickness on your own??

Hi there,

What you’re feeling is completely normal — lots of students get homesick, especially in the first few weeks, even if people don’t always talk about it. It just shows how much you care about your family and your twin, which is a strength, not something “ridiculous.”

A few things that can really help are keeping small routines from home (like a favourite meal, TV show, or walk), scheduling regular calls with your family, and reminding yourself that it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Uni doesn’t have to mean going out every night — plenty of people prefer a calmer, more relaxed experience and still make great friends.

Most importantly, it does get easier with time. Once you settle into your course and meet a few people, the homesickness usually feels less overwhelming. And if it gets too heavy, every uni has wellbeing support you can turn to — you don’t have to manage it all alone.

You’ve already shown courage by sharing how you feel, and that’s a good step forward.

Daniel
PhD Biology

Reply 3

Analyst89

There is a lot of support out there such as:

-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day

-Mind, 0300 123 3393

-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm

-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm

-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service

-Crises, 741741, text service

-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress

-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927

-No Panic, 0800 138 8889

-Relate, they have a chat advisor

-NHS mental health, 111

-Side by side: https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk/ (online community help)

-Kooth, www.kooth.com, a chat, message website

-7cups, www.7cups.com, 24/7 online chat

-Support line, 01708 765200, email: [email protected]

-Anxiety UK, 03444 775 774, 9:30am to 17:30pm Mon to Friday, a text service 07537 416905

-Young minds, www.youngminds.org.uk

-Calm, calm.com

-Mental Health 24/7: 0800 008 6516

-Young minds, text "YM" to 85258, for free, 24/7 support

-hubofhope website, useful contact information for your local area.

-Nightline, usually run by your university

You can self refer yourself to talking therapies on the NHS website.

Young minds website has a variety of information for mental health, from anxiety, depression, panic attacks, stress to loneliness etc.

Heads above the waves website has great information, advice and resources regarding a variety of mental health issues.

Calm app
Headspace app

There is the mind forum

Also Facebook groups

You can join support groups

There must be sanctuary hubs based on your local area

You can contact a crises team if things get very bad

Plenty of resources online, infor mation regarding well being.

Natural methods such as taking a walk, talking to a friend, exercising, engaging in a hobby