Lonley
Ive been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
Reply 1
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
It sounds like you’re going through a very difficult time right now, and I want to reassure you that you are not alone in this. Many students find the first few weeks at university overwhelming, and it can take time to settle in, make connections, and feel comfortable.
You’ve already taken a really positive step by reaching out and by putting yourself out there socially, even when it feels difficult. That shows strength and resilience.
I would encourage you to access the well-being and support services we have at the university, where you can talk confidentially about how you are feeling and get guidance on ways to manage anxiety and build connections. You may also want to speak to your personal tutor for academic and pastoral support.
There are also lots of societies, student groups, and events where you can meet people with similar interests; sometimes, it just takes a little while to find your community. Please don’t feel you have to go through this alone; support is here for you.
If at any point you are struggling to cope, please reach out to a trusted person immediately or contact professional help. If you ever feel unsafe, please call emergency services.
You’ve worked hard to get here, and with the right support, things can get better. Please do consider booking an appointment with the wellbeing team so we can help you through this.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
Hi, I am so sorry to hear that your feeling this way. Please try to breathe and stay calm in these situations. I was a previous student myself so I know how hard it can be to make friends. My advice would be to give it time. It has only been a couple days. These things take time. I would also say attend more society events, you will be able to speak to likeminded individuals. Please do not drop out. You have your whole life ahead of you! things will get better, I was in the exact same position and now my uni friends are my friends for life.
Kiran
Reply 3
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
Hi there,
I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I understand how you are feeling as I was in a similar position in the first week of university. University is a big chance and adjustment, so it's natural to feel down about it but it's important to know you are not alone in this. There are many students feeling similar and in the same boat.
Something I learnt which I wish I got told before starting university, is to be patient. Making friends, adjusting to moving out and settling in will take time. I expected to meet my friends from day 1 but it can take longer, we are all different. We have some useful tips on making friends here.
Well done for putting yourself out there and that is the best thing you can do. Putting yourself out there over time will get you feeling more confident, which is a bonus! There are many other events to make friends as well as other opportunities. You will have opportunities to go out for lunch with your class mates and attend other uni events down the line. Have you though about joining a society, these are great to meet like minded people.
Lastly, it's always great to familiarise yourself with student support from early on and knowing that there is support for you if needed. Give it some time and you will be fine. You've got this!
Best wishes,
^Zac
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
Hi Anonymous 👋
I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. That is a normal feeling though. Some people already know each other or have had some opportunities to meet each other which makes them form groups easily.
It's only been a few days and it will take time to settle in and make friends. During my first week, I felt homesick and would feel upset but later did feel more settled in and also met my best friend there as well. It's not just you, everyone can feel nervous so its good to make the first interaction.
I tend to be nervous at times as well but I met my best friend last year when we were both running a little late and I helped her calm down and then we sat next to each other in every class and now are best friends! However some people still have not made friends at University and that is normal 🙂
It is better to make true friends in your 2nd year rather than make friends who are there due to convenience so take your time making friends and have hope. Don't feel down as everyone is different and take their time with friends. I met my best friend in my first week but I have friends from different universities who worry about making friends and are now in their second year but still struggling which is normal though.
I hope this helps to put you at ease ☺️
Essex Student Rep - Lavanya 💜
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
Hey,
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. What you're experiencing is completely valid, and it's a huge thing to go through. Please know that you are not doing anything wrong. This is a common feeling many new students face.
Everyone's path at uni is different, and the fact that you're making an effort is a huge success in itself. Friendships don't happen overnight; they take time to grow.
It's okay to take a break from all the noise. Maybe find a quiet spot on campus that you like, or simply take a moment to breathe.
If these feelings get too much, remember that there are people who can help. You can always talk to someone at a support hub or the wellbeing team. It's perfectly okay to reach out. 😊
Rachel
(Third Year)
Undergraduate Multimedia Journalism
Reply 6
Hi, allow me to share my fresher's experience which was absolutely awful. I didn't like the people on my corridor in halls at all. They were all into football, rugby and house music. I was into indie and not remotely into sports at all. It rained the whole week, creating a miserable atmosphere. I went to a couple of fresher's parties, but they were gate crashed by much older students preying on the girls and were awful. This probably doesn't happen now, but it did then. At the end of the week I wanted to leave and then had a row with someone in my hall who kept playing music so loud I couldn't sleep. I only made friends after a few weeks, mainly on my course and another person in my hall who I didn't meet initially.
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
Hi there,
I am so sorry to hear about your struggles adjusting to uni life and the difficulties you are facing. It takes a while to click with people and a longer time still to build genuine friendships, so give yourself more time to adjust and don't be too hard on yourself 😣 I was in a similar position in my first year and did not really know what to do with myself. It was not only until the middle of my 2nd year where I began making more friends and connecting to the people within my course and even outside my course. If how you are feeling is really affecting your day to day life and really need someone to speak to, you might want to consider making an appointment with your uni's wellbeing support service.🤗
Have you met any of your flatmates or course mates yet? That is usually the best way to start, since you will be in close contact with each other everyday.
Give yourself sometime to adjust and take some small steps in exploring the area or trying new things 🙂 I hope this helps.
Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)
Reply 8
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
Hi there,
I am so sorry that you have bene feeling this way so far at uni. I know you have received some great replies to this already, but I also just wanted to reassure you in any way that I can.
Freshers week can be a really tricky time and I understand that it feels so hard right now, but it will get better. Once everything settles down and uni properly starts, people will find their groups and you will end up finding some people that are your kind of people. Try and stick it out if you can as you will feel so much better around Christmas time.
I also just wanted to add a couple of ways that I have met people while at uni just in case this helps you at all. I met a few people through joining a society so I would really recommend joining one of these if there are any that you are interested in. There are usually a list of societies available on the SU website, so have a look and see if there are any trial sessions that you can attend.
Also, have a look and see if there are any events on at your uni. This doesn't have to be typical club freshers events, but sometimes the SU will put on events where you can meet people for a coffee, or try something new like going to an ice hockey match for example!
You could also have a look on social media as you can often meet people on there too, and it can sometimes feel less daunting than meeting them in person! It's worth a look on Facebook as there are usually various groups associated with your uni.
Overall, I would say to keep going. It sounds like you have done all of the right things so far, and if you keep being yourself you will find people.
I hope some of this helps and good luck with the rest of your time at uni.
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Reply 9
Original post
by AnonymousIve been here at uni for a few days. I always knew I was socially anxious and akward but I did try putting myself out there ans talking to people even at an event I went yesterday. But it just idk it doesnt work no one is interested in me i see people I groups and I feel so so lonley I cry a lot and honestly I dont want to go home id be a shell of myself there. I dont want to drop out cause ive worked too hard to get here but this feeling its just too much and idk what Im doing wrong.
I can really feel how hard this is for you and I just want to say straight off, you’re not doing anything “wrong.” Uni is such a massive adjustment, and it’s completely normal to feel lonely or like you’re not fitting in straight away, especially if you’re socially anxious. You’ve worked so hard to get here, and the fact you’re still putting yourself out there even when it feels tough shows real courage.
Although I didn’t move away for uni, I did leave home at 18, and I remember how scary and isolating it can feel being somewhere new with no familiar faces. One thing to keep in mind is that so many other students are feeling the same way, even the ones who look like they’re already settled into groups. It’s still so early, and friendships take time to grow.
Try not to put pressure on yourself to “get it right” straight away. Sometimes it’s the small, everyday conversations, like grabbing a coffee with someone, chatting about your course, or sitting with someone in a lecture…that naturally turn into real friendships over time. Staying connected with your family and friends at home helps too, because they’re still your support system and can give you comfort when things feel overwhelming.
Most importantly, if the loneliness and stress start to feel like too much, please don’t suffer in silence. Your uni’s wellbeing team is there to support you, and talking things through with someone can make such a difference.
You’ve already done the hardest part by showing up and trying. Be gentle with yourself, give it time, and trust that it will get easier, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now!
Good luck! Sophie 🙂
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