How to find friends who care about you - loneliness

Why is it so difficult to find people who care about you in this life?

I know everyone has their own life to live but it's not healthy to have no friends or a very limited social life.

Whenever I've tried to get close to people and build a friendship they always end up pulling away from me and cutting me out their life, which confirms my belief that I'm just not wanted anywhere.

People always say 'start a hobby' or 'join a club and you'll make friends' yet whenever I do, no one wants to develop a close friendship with me. Pretty much everyone I try to form a friendship with always takes forever to reply and when they do it's like they're just not interested because they're 'busy' yet readily available to everyone else.

The only time people seem keen to talk is when they want something from me, whether it be resources of some kind or help with something and when I assert my boundaries and say I'd like more from the one-sided dynamic they make excuses and say it's because they've got a lot going on, even though I know they're still spending time with others.

At this point, the antidepressants seem the only thing keeping me sane (that, and my artwork). I do have hobbies and I can function alone, I just want people in my life who care about me.

Do you have any advice on how to make these meaningful connections or how to find people who care about you?

Reply 1

Has0909

i understand what you are going . Throughout my life i had friends who i thought were actual friends but were actually fake . and when i did make actual friends , they gave up on our friendship. i am not angry with them because they were the best friends that ever existed in my life and i will miss them . but unfortunately it is part of life as people go on different paths and sometimes that means letting go of friendships and putting less effort and energy for those friendships. i can promise you that you will find friends who like you for you , just like i did in the past . and so my advice is for you to find people with similar interests and start having small conversations and have patience as this will help your friendship grow
good luck

Reply 2

Analyst89

Are you at sixth form, college, university?

I befriended a few people back to my college days, sat next to them, found commanalities, formed friendships from there.

I understand, it is not simple as joining clubs, societies, meet ups, facebook groups, activities etc.

Have you tried to join something based on art?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Analyst89

Are you at sixth form, college, university?
I befriended a few people back to my college days, sat next to them, found commanalities, formed friendships from there.
I understand, it is not simple as joining clubs, societies, meet ups, facebook groups, activities etc.
Have you tried to join something based on art?

I've just started at university though I'm technically a mature student given I'm not 18. There is an art/painting society which I could join. It might be a good idea. At the very least, it's a start I guess.