how do i give up my dream of studying medicine

i’m on my gap year resitting my levels and flunked my ucat getting 1850 Band 2. i did terrible in my a-levels because i had to get surgery around exam season - ending up with ABD. it’s clear there’s very little hope for me as my GCSES aren’t crazy either - 99888777766.
i don’t think there’s any point anymore, i’m just really disappointed and hate myself and don’t know what to do. i’ve wanted to study medicine since i was a child and can’t think of any other field to go into, all i’ve wanted to be since forever is a doctor. i don’t want to do nursing, i don’t want to do any research based degree - i just can’t force myself to enjoy those fields/jobs.
please has anyone got any advice, ive never felt so lost and confused in my life