I hate my life choices

Golden_Roof

13

Done

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 1

Scotland Yard

Universities Forum Helper

20

Original post

by Golden_Roof

I hate my life. I retook A Levels Maths and went from an D to an A and all that effort just to do a degree that I don't even like. I chose Finance, Accounting and Management with a Placement Year at the University of Nottingham cuz I researched and found that Accounting is a stable career but it isn't. The current UK Job market is very bad, graduates on benefits, graduates can't find any jobs. I don't have any experience so it will be very difficult for me. I like sciences yet I chose such a boring degree such as Accounting for what??? Money??? If I can't even get a job then how will I even make money. I hate this. I got no friends here. I'm not even sleeping properly, waking up in the middle of the night randomly and not even eating properly. I hate it. I thought if I go to a good university like Nottingham then I can have a chance at life but I regret it so much. I hate it. I'm doing a course I don't even like and I genuinely hate it so much. Idk how I will survive these 4 years. I already took a gap year so I just feel like a failure for another one. I emailed Cardiff and Aston asking if they have any spaces on their Optometry courses and I'm just waiting for their response. I genuinely hate this and am so close to just giving up and dropping out of uni but ik that if I do I will heavily regret it and not be able to find a job. Please help me. What can I do? I love sciences. Idk I chose money over passion but now heavily regret that choice. Please help me.

Hi there,

There's a lot to unpack here so I'm sorry if I missed anything. But basically, you're having a not so fun time, doing a career you don't like in a place you don't like, with not-so ideal job prospects, and also you don't want to take a gap year because you'll feel like a failure? Let's deal with them one by one.

You're obviously not eating well and suffering from insomnia as a result of everything else. This is temporary and as soon as you start dealing with the other issues, or you formulate a plan, these things will go away. But I appreciate that these things can be a struggle, particularly the insomnia, so please try to talk to someone that cares about you (your family, old friends, etc) about what you've been struggling with recently. A listening ear is a truly wonderful thing that helps more than you'd think. I have found that with insomnia, doing some light exercise helps. I used to take many long night walks around my campus and they helped me get to sleep or, at the very least make me more accepting of my insomnia.

You're doing a career you don't like in a place you don't like. It happens, more often than you think. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world. It can be hard to be positive, but you've learnt what I think is the invaluable lesson that money isn't everything i life, and also that prestigious universities might not be the right fit for you. The good news is that all of this you can very much fix. You can drop out, go to open days and apply to courses you like and actually want to do, in places you like. Obviously this is a hard thing to do and figure out, but you can do it by putting in the time. And clearly you'll be miserable if you just chase the money instead of your passions so please take the time to find out what you want to do instead of making yourself miserable!

Job prospects aren't great and you need work experience. This is true of accounting, this is true of most things these days. So since the job market is going to be tricky, you might as well study something you enjoy. Also, no matter what you choose to study, the trick is to get job experience at university. If you do a programme with a year in industry, that'd be fab, but even if you do a regular degree then try to secure an internship or some sort of employment (maybe even volunteering) over the holidays or alongside your degree. Your university's career service should be able to point you in the right direction when looking to find work experience to build up your CV and make yourself stand out as a graduate, and the earlier you start, the better!

And you don't want to take a gap year because you'll feel like a failure? You won't be a failure. Many people take their time deciding what they want to do, and that's totally fine. There is someone on my degree who was 23 in year 1. I know of a law student at my uni in his 50s, and no one really cares about either of them not being the traditional uni age, because taking gap years doesn't make people failures. In fact I think in your situation, dropping out and taking a gap year to decide what else to study would probably be the successful choice. So many people soldier on through degrees they don't like, because they don't want to accept they made a mistake or they thing they're too late to do something about it. It takes courage to say that you were wrong and to actually try to fix it, and so that is the opposite of failure, at least in my eyes.

TL,DR: find a listening ear, figure out what you want to study and go for it, because chasing money instead of passion is a recipe for misery, and you won't be a failure for needing to take a gap year.

Reply 2

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Golden_Roof

I hate my life. I retook A Levels Maths and went from an D to an A and all that effort just to do a degree that I don't even like. I chose Finance, Accounting and Management with a Placement Year at the University of Nottingham cuz I researched and found that Accounting is a stable career but it isn't. The current UK Job market is very bad, graduates on benefits, graduates can't find any jobs. I don't have any experience so it will be very difficult for me. I like sciences yet I chose such a boring degree such as Accounting for what??? Money??? If I can't even get a job then how will I even make money. I hate this. I got no friends here. I'm not even sleeping properly, waking up in the middle of the night randomly and not even eating properly. I hate it. I thought if I go to a good university like Nottingham then I can have a chance at life but I regret it so much. I hate it. I'm doing a course I don't even like and I genuinely hate it so much. Idk how I will survive these 4 years. I already took a gap year so I just feel like a failure for another one. I emailed Cardiff and Aston asking if they have any spaces on their Optometry courses and I'm just waiting for their response. I genuinely hate this and am so close to just giving up and dropping out of uni but ik that if I do I will heavily regret it and not be able to find a job. Please help me. What can I do? I love sciences. Idk I chose money over passion but now heavily regret that choice. Please help me.

Hey there! Thank you for being so honest in your post, and I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I am aware it cannot be an easy situation to be in, and I will try help as much as I can.

I would say firstly, your wellbeing matters most. You are not weak or a failure for having taken a gap year or for feeling overwhelmed right now. It is absolutely normal and you should not beat yourself up over it. These feelings are just signs that you need support, and not that you have lost all hope permanently. You have to understand that you have been under immense pressure since A levels and so you are bound to feel this way, and none of that makes you a failure. We definitely all have those moments where we overlook our passions for one reason or the other, but the good thing is, doing that does not in any way mean you are stuck. You may regret it but I can assure you that you are not stuck.

I would definitely recommend you explore your academic options. You stated that you have already emailed Cardiff and Aston, which is proactive so that is great. So as you are awaiting a response, you could also speak to your course director or academic advisor about switching to another course within Nottingham if possible. Taking an internal transfer is very common so you would not be the only one. You could also opt out of the placement year if you feel like it will end up being too much for you. It may not seem like it, but you do have far more flexibility. If you can possibly see the four years through, there is also always the option of a Post Graduate degree in a field you are actually interested in. All these options are just me showing you, that you are not as stuck as it may seem.

Regarding the job market and experience, not being in the best place emotionally/mentally makes situations worse than they seem. Even if finance/accounting is not what you want, and you realise you do not have the experience, there are many ways around that. For example, part-time work, volunteering, internships, networking and even student societies. Any of these help employability, regardless of the industry. And they are also good ways to meet people, and potentially make friends. I understand that all these are not that easy and actually, when you are not interested in the degree it makes it that much more difficult. But you find that when you step outside of the classroom, some of these degrees are more interesting than they seem. So it is always worth giving it a shot for the sake of experience.

Additionally, just because you chose this course does not mean you killed your chances. Like I said, so many people transfer to optometry, pharmacy, biomedicine, psychology. Others starts over after first year with credit transfer or utilise postgraduate conversion routes. Your A level in Maths and your interest in sciences still matter.

I would also recommend speaking to someone for support. This could even be your University Support Services. The good thing about speaking with them specifically is that they can help with your distress and discuss academic options. Remember to put your mental health first!

Lastly, you are not out of time. Plenty of students take two gap years, change courses, foundation years or even rerouting into healthcare or science later. Employers will never reject someone for changing direction, especially those with a genuine interest.

I hope this was helpful, and if there is any way I can help - please let me know. 😄

Ru
BCU student rep.

Reply 3

University of Bath

Official Rep

14

Original post

by Golden_Roof

I hate my life. I retook A Levels Maths and went from an D to an A and all that effort just to do a degree that I don't even like. I chose Finance, Accounting and Management with a Placement Year at the University of Nottingham cuz I researched and found that Accounting is a stable career but it isn't. The current UK Job market is very bad, graduates on benefits, graduates can't find any jobs. I don't have any experience so it will be very difficult for me. I like sciences yet I chose such a boring degree such as Accounting for what??? Money??? If I can't even get a job then how will I even make money. I hate this. I got no friends here. I'm not even sleeping properly, waking up in the middle of the night randomly and not even eating properly. I hate it. I thought if I go to a good university like Nottingham then I can have a chance at life but I regret it so much. I hate it. I'm doing a course I don't even like and I genuinely hate it so much. Idk how I will survive these 4 years. I already took a gap year so I just feel like a failure for another one. I emailed Cardiff and Aston asking if they have any spaces on their Optometry courses and I'm just waiting for their response. I genuinely hate this and am so close to just giving up and dropping out of uni but ik that if I do I will heavily regret it and not be able to find a job. Please help me. What can I do? I love sciences. Idk I chose money over passion but now heavily regret that choice. Please help me.

Hi Golden,

Scotland Yard has already given you some very good advice and I would genuinely second what they've said. Your wellbeing matters first and foremost and so I would suggest focussing on yourself for a bit - see your uni's wellbeing team, talk to your parents/friends, and try to ensure you eat three good meals a day so you don't become too drowsy or weak during the day. Get into a good routine and maintain good sleep hygiene (i.e. limit screens before you want to go to bed, have darkness, chamomile tea, light exercise etc), then you will be able to think more clearly about what you'd like to do next.

I'd also like to emphasise that you would not be a failure for taking another gap year. What other A-Levels did you take aside from Maths? Would they make you eligible to apply for Optometry next year? If so, then one suggestion would be to do a gap year with the aim of getting some part-time work, perhaps as an optical assistant working alongside an optician, or even just in a restaurant or a supermarket to save up for uni, and when the main cycle comes, apply to some courses you'd like afresh.

Life is not a race. You are young and you have plenty of time to work out the right path for you, and sometimes you need to try things out to see if they work for you - its okay if they don't. People generally don't have everything they want to do worked out as soon as they leave A-Levels/college, sometimes we just have to make the best decisions we can with what we know at the time.

So if you really dislike your current situation and it is making you ill, then you have the power to change it. Nobody will think badly of you for putting your own needs and goals first.

I hope this adds - best of luck with your next steps.

Reply 4

Wired_1800

20

Original post

by Golden_Roof

I hate my life. I retook A Levels Maths and went from an D to an A and all that effort just to do a degree that I don't even like. I chose Finance, Accounting and Management with a Placement Year at the University of Nottingham cuz I researched and found that Accounting is a stable career but it isn't. The current UK Job market is very bad, graduates on benefits, graduates can't find any jobs. I don't have any experience so it will be very difficult for me. I like sciences yet I chose such a boring degree such as Accounting for what??? Money??? If I can't even get a job then how will I even make money. I hate this. I got no friends here. I'm not even sleeping properly, waking up in the middle of the night randomly and not even eating properly. I hate it. I thought if I go to a good university like Nottingham then I can have a chance at life but I regret it so much. I hate it. I'm doing a course I don't even like and I genuinely hate it so much. Idk how I will survive these 4 years. I already took a gap year so I just feel like a failure for another one. I emailed Cardiff and Aston asking if they have any spaces on their Optometry courses and I'm just waiting for their response. I genuinely hate this and am so close to just giving up and dropping out of uni but ik that if I do I will heavily regret it and not be able to find a job. Please help me. What can I do? I love sciences. Idk I chose money over passion but now heavily regret that choice. Please help me.

The first step imho to solving a problem is establishing that there is one. You have taken the first step and I can simply congratulate you for that move.

The next few steps, however, are important and I suggest that you approach them with caution. You have clearly articulated your problems such as a disconnect with your uni course, a lack of friendships at uni and an overall poor standard of living there.

I would suggest that you first consider what you actually want to study. You don't have to be super focus on a career but you should have a broad area such as engineering, medicine, education, law, finance, history.

From there, you consider the subject areas that can lead you towards that pathway. As you mentioned, you like sciences but the key question is which one(s)? All of them? Biology is different to Chemistry and widely different to Maths or Physics. If you like all of them, then you can consider a degree in Natural Sciences that combines multiple disciplines together.

Once you have clarity on your desired pathway, then look for unis that offer those subject areas. This would be the next step but be careful to choose a uni that you actually want to be at such as the social life, community feel, student body, clubs/societies etc.

A controversial topic is to look at the coverage and ratio of international to local students. In big cities, there is a higher chance of being with international students more than local students. There is nothing wrong with international students but there is a stereotype that some groups tend to stick within their cultural groups. Hence, it would be better for you, in my view, to look for unis with a healthy proportion of local students.

Finally, you should not worry about taking another gap year. This is a toxic misconception that leads some young people astray. Some think that it is better to do a course they don't like within a uni that they are unhappy in because of the expectations. It is better to get it right and go next year (or this year, if you can get a place) than to have a horrid 3 or 4 years degree.

I wish you the best and hope you achieve what you are looking for

Reply 5

ARU Graduate

Official Rep

7

Original post

by Golden_Roof

I hate my life. I retook A Levels Maths and went from an D to an A and all that effort just to do a degree that I don't even like. I chose Finance, Accounting and Management with a Placement Year at the University of Nottingham cuz I researched and found that Accounting is a stable career but it isn't. The current UK Job market is very bad, graduates on benefits, graduates can't find any jobs. I don't have any experience so it will be very difficult for me. I like sciences yet I chose such a boring degree such as Accounting for what??? Money??? If I can't even get a job then how will I even make money. I hate this. I got no friends here. I'm not even sleeping properly, waking up in the middle of the night randomly and not even eating properly. I hate it. I thought if I go to a good university like Nottingham then I can have a chance at life but I regret it so much. I hate it. I'm doing a course I don't even like and I genuinely hate it so much. Idk how I will survive these 4 years. I already took a gap year so I just feel like a failure for another one. I emailed Cardiff and Aston asking if they have any spaces on their Optometry courses and I'm just waiting for their response. I genuinely hate this and am so close to just giving up and dropping out of uni but ik that if I do I will heavily regret it and not be able to find a job. Please help me. What can I do? I love sciences. Idk I chose money over passion but now heavily regret that choice. Please help me.

Hey,

I can really feel how much this is weighing on you and first off, please know you’re not a failure for feeling this way. You’ve clearly worked incredibly hard to get where you are, and it’s completely understandable to feel frustrated and lost when things don’t turn out how you expected!

It’s also not too late to change paths. A lot of people realise after starting uni that their course isn’t right for them…it’s actually more common than you’d think. The most important thing is that, if you decide to change, you do it for the right reasons and not just because you’re feeling trapped in the moment.
I was in a similar spot myself, really torn between a few different career paths before finally choosing ODP. What helped me was taking a bit of time out to properly research the courses that interested me. I looked into what the day-to-day job actually involved, what the entry roles were like, how the career could progress, and, most importantly, whether it was something that actually excited me. Ultimately, I picked the one that gave me that sense of purpose and curiosity, not the one that just looked “secure” on paper.

If you love science, definitely explore that. Look into the modules, the workload, and even talk to students currently on the courses you’re considering, you’ll get a much clearer idea of what feels right. You could even speak to a careers adviser at your uni before making any big moves, they can help you explore your options and figure out a plan that works for you.
And just remember, it’s never too late to change direction. You’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience. Once you find something you actually enjoy, everything…motivation, confidence, even your wellbeing, starts to fall into place a bit more naturally.

You’ve already proven you can work hard and push through tough situations (that D to an A in Maths is huge). You’ll get through this too…it’s just about finding the path that actually feels like yours.

Good luck! Sophie 🙂

Reply 6

4mbs

7

I was at loughborough doing A&FM w a placement year too and I feel exactly the same. That course actually drained the life out of me and I hated it but had gone for it knowing its a good basis and something to fall back on. Im currently not in uni anymore because of how much I disliked it and lboro not being very forgiving when wishing to transfer courses, feeling super lost just like you :/

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

you're not alone, but I am not really sure on what advice to give you so I'll wish you good luck

Reply 8

Golden_Roof

OP

13

Yh so after thinking about it for a long time, I realised its better to use up 1 year than to do 4 years of something I won't like. In the grand scheme, one year isn't that much tbf its like if I took a foundation year for example so nothing really too bad. Thank you everyone for your kind words and direction.

I hate my life choices

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