When do I know it is time to come home from my year abroad?

4

I hate my year abroad so much. I feel like i cannot breathe and am being suffocated half the time. I am having no fun, I don't like teaching, I have barely enough money for food, my anxiety is so bad and as someone who has always struggled with mental health immensely, this is by far the worst it has ever been. I am finding all the necessary paperwork really hard to complete, I feel completely isolated and lonely and i have no idea how to make friends. I am not even really learning any of the language because I barely interact with people.
All in all, it's a horrible experience
I have to do a year abroad for my degree, if I don't do it this year they would make me do it next year. Furthermore, if I left I would have to pay a lot of money to either cover the rest of my rental contract or to break it off, and a lot of money to repay my student loan and university fees for the year (I think, I would have to do this, according to Google)
Essentially I hate it here, so so much but I don't know at what point I have to accept my mental health is so bad that I need to just suck it up any pay however many thousands of pounds to go home so I don't just became more and more suicidal
I don't know what to do, I'm at my wits end :frown:

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 1

Evil Homer

TSR Community Staff

20

Original post

by kesjames

I hate my year abroad so much. I feel like i cannot breathe and am being suffocated half the time. I am having no fun, I don't like teaching, I have barely enough money for food, my anxiety is so bad and as someone who has always struggled with mental health immensely, this is by far the worst it has ever been. I am finding all the necessary paperwork really hard to complete, I feel completely isolated and lonely and i have no idea how to make friends. I am not even really learning any of the language because I barely interact with people.
All in all, it's a horrible experience
I have to do a year abroad for my degree, if I don't do it this year they would make me do it next year. Furthermore, if I left I would have to pay a lot of money to either cover the rest of my rental contract or to break it off, and a lot of money to repay my student loan and university fees for the year (I think, I would have to do this, according to Google)

Trigger Warning

I don't know what to do, I'm at my wits end :frown:

Just to let you know I've added a Trigger Warning for some of the content in this post.

I'm so sorry to hear you've had such a difficult experience. I'm hoping @PAPYRUS HOPELINE should be able to reach out to you soon.

Does the university you're studying with have a support system/advisor to reach out to? It could be good to speak to them soon just in-case you decide to really explore coming home early, they would be in the best position to advise you on the practical impacts.

Reply 2

PAPYRUS HOPELINE

Official Rep

10

Original post

by kesjames

I hate my year abroad so much. I feel like i cannot breathe and am being suffocated half the time. I am having no fun, I don't like teaching, I have barely enough money for food, my anxiety is so bad and as someone who has always struggled with mental health immensely, this is by far the worst it has ever been. I am finding all the necessary paperwork really hard to complete, I feel completely isolated and lonely and i have no idea how to make friends. I am not even really learning any of the language because I barely interact with people.
All in all, it's a horrible experience
I have to do a year abroad for my degree, if I don't do it this year they would make me do it next year. Furthermore, if I left I would have to pay a lot of money to either cover the rest of my rental contract or to break it off, and a lot of money to repay my student loan and university fees for the year (I think, I would have to do this, according to Google)
Essentially I hate it here, so so much but I don't know at what point I have to accept my mental health is so bad that I need to just suck it up any pay however many thousands of pounds to go home so I don't just became more and more suicidal
I don't know what to do, I'm at my wits end :frown:

Hi there,

Firstly, you've done really well to be so open and honest about how you're feeling. It can take a lot to open up and ask for advice and support but it's so important that when you recognise you are struggling, that you don't sit with those feelings and thoughts alone.

We'd echo the earlier reply in considering whether there is support within your university that may be able to help you understand your options, and the practicalities of any decision you might make in relation to your course.
It may also be that they have the ability to put some mental health and wellbeing support in place for you too, and while it can often differ what that support might look like depending on your University, given how much you're struggling -there is a duty of care to be expected there if you feel able to be open with them about your thoughts of suicide especially.
(That may be something that you've already explored, of course).

The fact that you're reaching out here, that you're being so honest both with yourself and with others within this community suggests there's a part of you that is trying really hard to not allow your mental health to deteriorate further, and in doing that you're working really hard in trying to keep yourself safe.
It's absolutely ok to recognise when your mental health and your safety need to come first, and if you're finding that your studies and being abroad are directly impacting on your mental health, and causing your thoughts of suicide to worsen too then it sounds like this is something that's important to get some support with - to allow you to make the most informed choice but also the choice that prioritises your needs.

At HOPELINE247, we're here to support with managing thoughts of suicide and keeping safe from suicide.
We're not sure if you're currently studying outside the UK, or if you're within the UK having travelled here for your studies - however, due to our remit we are only able to support people within the UK.
If you're currently within the UK, we'd really encourage you to consider reaching out to us directly if you feel it would be helpful to get some confidential and anonymous support.
You can call us on 0800 068 4141, text HOPE to 88247, email [email protected] or webchat via www.papyrus-uk.org. We're open 24/7.

If you're currently outside of the UK, you could take a look at helplines that may be able to support you right now using www.findahelpline.com which allows you to select where you are in the world and see which services are available to you.

Wherever you are, you can still access resources and advice via our website here too:-
PAPYRUS - Advice & Resources

We really hope you're able to get the support and the advice that helps you to make the best decision for you in regard to your studies, and please know that there is support out there should you need to reach out.

HOPELINE247 💜

Reply 3

youth_budget

4

Original post

by kesjames

I hate my year abroad so much. I feel like i cannot breathe and am being suffocated half the time. I am having no fun, I don't like teaching, I have barely enough money for food, my anxiety is so bad and as someone who has always struggled with mental health immensely, this is by far the worst it has ever been. I am finding all the necessary paperwork really hard to complete, I feel completely isolated and lonely and i have no idea how to make friends. I am not even really learning any of the language because I barely interact with people.
All in all, it's a horrible experience
I have to do a year abroad for my degree, if I don't do it this year they would make me do it next year. Furthermore, if I left I would have to pay a lot of money to either cover the rest of my rental contract or to break it off, and a lot of money to repay my student loan and university fees for the year (I think, I would have to do this, according to Google)
Essentially I hate it here, so so much but I don't know at what point I have to accept my mental health is so bad that I need to just suck it up any pay however many thousands of pounds to go home so I don't just became more and more suicidal
I don't know what to do, I'm at my wits end :frown:

If your mental health is deteriorating to the point that you feel suffocated or unsafe, that is the signal that something has to change. You don’t have to “push through” a situation that is actively harming you. Universities have duty-of-care responsibilities, and most would rather help you take a break or come home safely than see you reach a crisis.

When do I know it is time to come home from my year abroad?

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