Recently started uni should I dump my boyfriend

And how is your career going now?
And how is your life in general? Are you living life to the full? Going on lots of adventures and mini-adventures? Living in a heaven on earth?

And how is your career going now? How is it going compared to the people on your course that had a rather more active social and romantic life than you did at uni?
And how is your life in general? Compared to them? Are you living life to the full? Going on lots of adventures and mini-adventures? Living in a heaven on earth?

And how is your career going now? How is it going compared to the people on your course that had a rather more active social and romantic life than you did at uni?
And how is your life in general? Compared to them? Are you living life to the full? Going on lots of adventures and mini-adventures? Living in a heaven on earth?

Wow, are you implying that boyfriends are the steadying forces that prevent women from straying into wilderness and sleeping around? Hey, just because you couldn't help yourself it doesn't mean that other young women can't exercise more self control and focus or that they even have that tendency to begin with.

What you on about, I was saying I made a huge mistake breaking up just because I went to uni

Do not do this, I broke up with my bf for uni just because many of my friends did and regretted it soon after, he went on and found someone else and I ended up sleeping around and generally feeling rubbish

Your phrasing did make it sound like you were moralising and reinforcing a stereotype about women going wild after a breakup. It came across as if you were implying that women need a boyfriend to have self-control or not go off the rails, rather than just expressing your own regret about your situation.

Your phrasing did make it sound like you were moralising and reinforcing a stereotype about women going wild after a breakup. It came across as if you were implying that women need a boyfriend to have self-control or not go off the rails, rather than just expressing your own regret about your situation.

Madie girl's post didn't come over to me as if she were moralising or reinforcing a stereotype. It didn't come across to me as if women need a boyfriend in order to have self control or not go off the rails.

It came across as her telling us what she did in a similar situation to what the original poster was in and telling us how things worked out for her.

Madie girl's post didn't come over to me as if she were moralising or reinforcing a stereotype. It didn't come across to me as if women need a boyfriend in order to have self control or not go off the rails.
It came across as her telling us what she did in a similar situation to what the original poster was in and telling us how things worked out for her.
"Sleeping around" in the context of being am undergraduate student is not going off the rails. And it isn't losing self control.
It's just going on a series of intimate mini-adventure with a variety of men. With it also being Madie girl gaining experiences that will stand her in good stead in the long term.
"Feeling rubbish" after breaking up with the first big love is a rite of passage. It's something that just about everyone goes through. What differs a lot is how quickly people pick themselves up and start functioning well enough in their lives after the first big break up.
It seems that the original poster and Madie girl will be quite different in how they process the break-up with their pre-uni boyfriends. That's fine. There's no right and wrong here. Just different people being different.

I agree. I didn't even slightly read it as her moralising or reinforcing a stereotype.

Well all I was saying the grass isn't greener on the other side, i was just expressing my regret at dumping my boyfriend and sleeping around it really was a massive mistake hence I was urging anyone not to break up with their partner just for the sake of uni

I'm not condemning any life choices like sleeping around. Some people might see it as intimate mini-adventures, and that's totally valid, although I'd be lying if I'd say that lifestyle appeals to me even remotely because I see nothing of value in it. But i'm challenging the idea that women need a steady boyfriend to avoid making mistakes, which, depending on the phrasing or how one is looking at it, can imply things like "sleeping around" and "feeling rubbish". The way the original post was phrased made it read to me like it was implicitly reinforcing that stereotype. However, I do appreciate the clarification that followed which was more precise and didn't carry that assumption - I see it as a sign of self-reflection and growth.

The reason you might not see the implicit assumption is because you haven't had to live it or defend yourself against it, as a man. But for many women, there's this stereotype that they need a boyfriend or man to feel grounded and in control, and I think that's something worth challenging. I grew up being told I needed a boyfriend and that I had to be attractive for one (thankfully not by my parents) even though I had no idea what for. That's exactly the kind of messaging I refuse to internalise or be talked out of noticing when it appears.

I've recently started uni and I am having loads of fun but I feel trapped in a relationship, he is back home nearly 2 hours away doing an apprenticeship, all of my friends I know have dumped their partners. He wants to visit but I am getting more more irritated by him messaging me, what should I do?

I've recently started uni and I am having loads of fun but I feel trapped in a relationship, he is back home nearly 2 hours away doing an apprenticeship, all of my friends I know have dumped their partners. He wants to visit but I am getting more more irritated by him messaging me, what should I do?