What does the phrase &#x27;seeing someone&#x27; actually mean?

OP

SamTheMan

Now you're considering kissing... Before you only mentioned sex.
It's not through sex that you make a relationship more close, more important or more official. You can end up seeing someone, going out with someone, dating someone, becoming their boyfriend/girlfriend without sex coming into the equation. Mainly because a relationship is about more than just sex.
Thinking that sex is what will make your relationship count or decide that you're no longer just friends is a bit immature.

i agree.

Reply 62

OP

but really tho, when u agrue with your girl-mates, do you ever buy them a rose to make it up?
and if you go out as mates, does the guy always have to pay?

Reply 63

eurasianfeline

13

magiccarpet

but really tho, when u agrue with your girl-mates, do you ever buy them a rose to make it up?
and if you go out as mates, does the guy always have to pay?

my ex never bought me flowers to make up...in fact he's only bought me 3 things...flowers on v-day to ask me out, a teddy (from mcdee's) on my birthday after we broke up when we met up and talked in mcdee's, and a tigger stuff toy from Disney store for xmas (after breakup as well...trying to get me back)

and in case u're wondering...we broke up cos he cheated on me with my "friend".

most of the time i think guys tend to pay...but sometimes it's the other way round. guys don't ALWAYS have to pay...but most of the time i think guys would WANT to pay. who knows...mb i'm wrong. :rolleyes:

Reply 64

frost105

eurasianfeline

my ex never bought me flowers to make up...in fact he's only bought me 3 things...flowers on v-day to ask me out, a teddy (from mcdee's) on my birthday after we broke up when we met up and talked in mcdee's, and a tigger stuff toy from Disney store for xmas (after breakup as well...trying to get me back)

and in case u're wondering...we broke up cos he cheated on me with my "friend".

most of the time i think guys tend to pay...but sometimes it's the other way round. guys don't ALWAYS have to pay...but most of the time i think guys would WANT to pay. who knows...mb i'm wrong. :rolleyes:

I think it all depends on how well you know someone. my mate insists on going dutch on a date if they have both arranged it, if he arranges it he pays and if she arranges a date then she pays (all very confusing!). Me and my fella usually split most things or take it in turns to pay.

Reply 65

OP

eurasianfeline

my ex never bought me flowers to make up...in fact he's only bought me 3 things...flowers on v-day to ask me out, a teddy (from mcdee's) on my birthday after we broke up when we met up and talked in mcdee's, and a tigger stuff toy from Disney store for xmas (after breakup as well...trying to get me back)

and in case u're wondering...we broke up cos he cheated on me with my "friend".

most of the time i think guys tend to pay...but sometimes it's the other way round. guys don't ALWAYS have to pay...but most of the time i think guys would WANT to pay. who knows...mb i'm wrong. :rolleyes:

hi there,
i will love to talk to you, cos he's from hong kong as well.

he says his culture doesnt allow him to be seen as weak therefore he cannot go out with a girl more intelligent than him as he feels weak, and even though he fancies me he cannot go out with me, especially as i did his coursework and now he feels weak.
is this true, or a load of bull? he says any hk girl woul d know and they all act dumb for getting guys.is it true?

as for the other stuff u said, he says we are not going out. but he always pays for me and takes me out, and buys me perfume, he just bought me a rose. i think its a bit much for just mates, dont u?

thanks xx

Reply 66

OP

would any of you buy a rose for your best girl mate?

Reply 67

It doesn't mean that he wants an exclusive relationship though does it.

Incidentally I have two male mates who have both bought me flowers when I've been feeling down or on a special occasion before now. It didn't mean they wanted to get in my knickers it just means they are really sweet guys.

Reply 68

OP

anyway. after the arguement and the rose he bought me he seems not to be speaking to me again.

Reply 69

frost105

Why dont you just forget about him and put the whole thing down as experience?

Reply 70

OP

the thing is, now i lov the guy. i dont know why he is such a bastard. do you think he hates me?no but them why would he grovel and apologise and drive for 1 hour just to talk to me and buy me a rose if he hated me?

Reply 71

frost105

Then I pity you for loving someone who can treat you so shoddily. Love isnt the be all and end all. Respect and trust are 2 very important ingrediants which you 2 seem to lack.

Reply 72

OP

we dont have trust. he trusts me but i dont trust him cos he keeps lying. he told me he only fancied me for a week then he realised my intelligence intimidates him hence dumped me by saying 'i need some time to sort myself out. i need to get to know you better'. what kinda dump is that? i thought we were together?this happened 4 months ago!

Reply 73

magiccarpet

the thing is, now i lov the guy. i dont know why he is such a bastard. do you think he hates me?no but them why would he grovel and apologise and drive for 1 hour just to talk to me and buy me a rose if he hated me?

You are seeing it in black and white but there are plenty of shades of grey. From what you've said I don't think he hates you, but he doesn't think that much of you anyway. You are good to have around because he has someone that he knows he can get attention from, and you are useful to him because you would do anything for him, so he wants to keep you sweet incase he ever needs you.
However if he loved you he wouldn't treat you like **** all the time would he?

Also theres the added factor that you're not going to have sex with him (I havent dreamed you saying this have I? Its for religious reasons right?) some guys can't get over that. It would probably be different if you were both older and he saw the relationship as longterm but he doesn't seem to.

This relationship isn't going anywhere and in your heart of hearts you know this, its so unhealthy that you are spending your time stressing about him. its saturday night you should be out having a good time with friends.

Reply 74

OP

viviki

You are seeing it in black and white but there are plenty of shades of grey. From what you've said I don't think he hates you, but he doesn't think that much of you anyway. You are good to have around because he has someone that he knows he can get attention from, and you are useful to him because you would do anything for him, so he wants to keep you sweet incase he ever needs you.
However if he loved you he wouldn't treat you like **** all the time would he?

Also theres the added factor that you're not going to have sex with him (I havent dreamed you saying this have I? Its for religious reasons right?) some guys can't get over that. It would probably be different if you were both older and he saw the relationship as longterm but he doesn't seem to.

This relationship isn't going anywhere and in your heart of hearts you know this, its so unhealthy that you are spending your time stressing about him. its saturday night you should be out having a good time with friends.

why would he ask me about my sexual preferences if he wasnt attracted o me?he says he finds me attractive but cant go out with me cos im too smart thus he feels weak and he didnt speak to me for 2 weeks after doing his coursework cos he felt weak and ashamed. and then when he gave me the rose and kept apologising and sayin how he felt awful i feel so so bad i jut started crying. also, when he asked out that girl(the married one) on valentines day and didnt speak to me, i got mad at him and now the girl is angry cos she thinks i think she is a slut.should i call him? i think he's angry again.

i want to stay home tonite. i dont know. im too depressed. :frown:

btw thanks for your relationship advice, im feeling like there's 3 people in the relationship!

Reply 75

So if he feels so weak why did he let you do it all for him. He could have done his coursework for himself. i'm not saying he isn't attracted to you, but if he was that bothered you would be in a proper relationship. it just seems like he wants to keep his options open to him, stop making excuses for him for a second and you might be able to see whats going on. Everyone who posts in one of your threads says the same thing but you don't want to listen.

Reply 76

OP

he said it seemed a good idea at the time. then we went for a drink after the work got handed in and he was 100% fine. then i spoke about my ex and was crying and then for two weeks he was ignoring me. i think mayb it was u who said he asked out the girl on valentines day (who is MARRIED who can only be a mate) to annoy me, as he thoght i got mad cos he said she had the best breasts. but then if he was making me jealous then he must like me.

i txt him ''hi i wish we can be friends but im not attracted to you in that way.just so u kno, sorry.x'' (but actually i am)then he told ppl i got jealous about the married girl, and told people there was never anything between us because we r too different' then we had a fight, made up and he said later 'im glad we made upi'l txt u 2mo' but he didnt . i txt him ''hi luv how r u tday, i cant believe u drove down last night. wish we have finish al the fighting. i sort things out with the married girl and said thereis a misunderstanding.how was ur day.xx''and he didnt reply.

do you think i should just be honest and say i lov the guy?

Reply 77

OP

yar im gona text him now

Reply 78

Nooooo

You don't seem to have any self respect where he is concerned at all. I certainly wouldn't ever tell anyone who discussed me behind my back with people and ignored me for weeks for no reason that I loved them. you need to move on not give him more power over you.

Reply 79

OP