I have no friends at uni :(
Ugh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
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Reply 1
Moving to uni and making new friends is tough. Keep going out and meeting new people, join clubs and keep socialising. Don't expect to click with people instantly or find your perfect person immediately. Just try to enjoy yourself and have fun
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousMoving to uni and making new friends is tough. Keep going out and meeting new people, join clubs and keep socialising. Don't expect to click with people instantly or find your perfect person immediately. Just try to enjoy yourself and have fun
I’ll try my best but is it too late? It’s been almost a month since freshers. Can I still join societies?
Reply 3
Yes keep going, just be yourself and have fun doing what you enjoy. You'll meet your people but it takes time and they might not always be who you expect.
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hi,
It’s completely normal not to have met people you really connect with yet. University is a big change, and it often takes time to find your crowd.
I’d recommend joining societies that match your interests and talking to more people on your course. Even small conversations can slowly turn into friendships.
It’s normal for it to take a few months to find your people. Try to focus on doing things you enjoy and allow friendships to develop naturally. If you ever feel down or isolated, your university’s student support or wellbeing services are there to help. They’re confidential and really supportive.
Things usually get better once you start meeting people you genuinely click with, and it’s never too late to socialise and make the most of your experience.
Wishing you all the best,
Tayba
Student Rep
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear this. It can be tricky making friends at uni and I completely get where you are coming from with this, so I thought I could also help out with some suggestions.
•
Firstly, joining societies. It is not too late - I know plenty at Hallam that are still accepting members and will do for plenty of time throughout the year so it is worth having a look! See if there are any that take your fancy and you can always message them to check if they are accepting new people still. Or, if not you will be able to join in January as many people do this at the start of the new semester so it's worth still looking now so you are prepared.
•
I would also say that looking at the events that your SU might put on is a good idea too as there will often be lots of fun events where you can try something new and meet some new people too. There are often updates about this on your Student Union website so I would have a look about this.
•
Looking on social media is always a good idea too as you can see lots of people on here that you might otherwise not meet. It can also be less daunting than meeting people face to face too which is always good.
•
In terms of meeting people on your course, I think you should just keep trying! People will want to do things but they might just be waiting for someone else to ask so you could always ask if they wanted to go for a coffee or lunch after a lecture?
I hope some of this helps, and don't worry as there is always time to make friends.
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Reply 6
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear this. Making friends at university can take longer than you expect. Something I wish I got told before starting university is to be more patient. I expected to make all my friends during the first week, which is doable for some but everyone is different. It took me some time 🙂 There are many opportunities to make friends at university other than freshers such as other SU events, uni ran events, joining a society and making plans with your course mates.
It seems as though you don't have a problem making friends and being social, you just haven't found the right people. Don't let this discourage you, you've got this! Have you tried joining any groups online? There may be many people who you could get on with and be friends with, who you wouldn't have met in person yet. There are often Facebook groups or communities you could join to meet like minded people. Joining a society is another great way to meeting like minded people.
Hope this helps, ^Zac
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hey I’m also at uob and i’m literally in the same situation. I have a few acquaintances but not really people i’d call friends. I’ve joined a few societies (i’ve only been to 1 or 2 society events in each society) and i’ve met some really nice people. however i’m also finding it really hard to click with anyone and my accommodation is in Pritchatts but isn’t very social at all I mean I haven’t even been out with my flatmates they kind of just do their own thing. I’m hoping things get better for the both of us but I feel like everyone’s already formed their own groups 😭😭. Also I have tried making friends in my course but the bulk majority are international students who only talk to each other so it’s quite hard to make friends there too.
Reply 8
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hey,
Honestly, you’re so not alone in feeling like this. Loads of people go through the same thing but just don’t say it out loud. Uni can feel super isolating at first, especially when it seems like everyone else has instantly found their “group.” But that’s not the reality for most people.
It took me quite a while to find my people too… the ones I could actually chill with, text randomly, or grab food with without it feeling forced. The first few months were a mix of awkward small talk and going out with people I didn’t really click with, and I remember thinking I’d never properly settle in. But things do shift over time. Sometimes it’s second term, sometimes even second year when you meet people who actually feel like friends, not just flatmates or coursemates you tolerate.
You could try joining a society that’s more interest-based (rather than just your course or flat) even if you only half-like the activity, it’s a good way to meet people outside your current circle. Also, don’t write people off too quickly, sometimes it takes a few hangouts before you actually start feeling comfortable with them.
And honestly, it’s okay if you don’t love going out all the time either. Some of the best connections happen over coffee, random walks, or study sessions rather than nights out.
You’re not doomed to be lonely, I promise, it just takes a bit of time to find the ones who get you!
Good luck going forward! Sophie 🙂
Reply 9
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hey,
I completely understand why you're feeling this way. It takes a huge amount of effort to keep putting yourself out there when you're not getting those connections back, so please give yourself credit for trying.
Don’t worry, the feeling you're describing is absolutely normal for a first-year student. It happened to me plenty of times, especially during my foundation year and first year of uni. Finding genuine friends is a process, not something that happens instantly.
Finding Your People
It sounds like you've been focused on socialising with your accommodation group, and if they're not your vibe, that's completely okay! It just means the connections you're looking for are elsewhere.
Since you've already tried the night-out scene and it wasn't a good fit, you need a new strategy focused on shared interests and daytime activities.
•
Join Societies: This is the most important step. If you haven't yet, look for societies based on genuine hobbies or interests you have, not just the course or the big parties. This gives you an instant common ground for conversation.
•
Check Course Events: Keep trying to make connections on your course, but shift your focus from lectures to smaller seminars or study groups. A simple "How did you find that reading?" can start a real friendship.
•
Look Off-Campus: Don't forget about events outside of the university. Try looking online for local city events or groups that match your hobbies—it can be a great way to meet new people who aren't caught up in the typical Fresher's social scene.
You won't be lonely for the rest of your uni life. I can assure you of that. It took me a while to find my friend group. The friendships that last are built slowly through shared activities and genuine connection, not through rushed party invites.
It won't be an easy journey to make friends, but it will absolutely be worth it in the end.
Hope this helps! 😊
Rachel
(Third Year)
Undergraduate Multimedia Journalism
Reply 10
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hi this is extremely normal, a friend of mine at Manchester met really struggled for the first few months of first year making friends but now she’s got a huge friendship group she loves going out with. I think it’s important to keep putting yourself out there and eventually you will your kind of people. Also, most people don’t stay friends with accommodation flatmates, you are all put together randomly so it’s rare you’d get along super well so don’t worry too fun about that. Personally I made most of my friends outside my course as well so don’t be too harsh on yourself it’s extremely common. I actually wrote a blog about it here if you want to check it out, I’ve got some good tips on making friends, especially in first year.
Hope this helps!
Vee (Kingston rep)
Reply 11
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hi there,
Please do not worry. You just haven't found your people yet. That is completely normal to feel this way, I remember myself feeling something similar in my first year. The main advice is to continue meeting new people, join student societies and attend events. Stay open to the world, and I can guarantee that you will meet some people you enjoy being with
Ilya
Cyber Security student at De Montfort University
Reply 12
Hi all. I don’t use tsr often and I only just checked it today. I wasn’t expecting so many responses to my post, and I appreciate all the support I’ve received - it’s making me feel a lot better. However I haven’t had much progress since I wrote the original post. My uni doesn’t really have many societies I’m genuinely interested in, and it feels like everyone in my course has found their group. It’s really frustrating and kinda ruining my uni life so far. I dread the hour breaks between my lectures as I have no one to eat with or sit with. I’ve got my friends from sixth form that I call when I get home, but they’re getting more busy w uni life and making new friends - and I don’t want to hinder them from that. I’ve never felt more lonely in my life, and I don’t really know what to do from here.
Reply 13
Original post
by AnonymousHey I’m also at uob and i’m literally in the same situation. I have a few acquaintances but not really people i’d call friends. I’ve joined a few societies (i’ve only been to 1 or 2 society events in each society) and i’ve met some really nice people. however i’m also finding it really hard to click with anyone and my accommodation is in Pritchatts but isn’t very social at all I mean I haven’t even been out with my flatmates they kind of just do their own thing. I’m hoping things get better for the both of us but I feel like everyone’s already formed their own groups 😭😭. Also I have tried making friends in my course but the bulk majority are international students who only talk to each other so it’s quite hard to make friends there too.
Uob isn’t the uob I wanted 😭
Reply 14
Original post
by AnonymousI’ll try my best but is it too late? It’s been almost a month since freshers. Can I still join societies?
Hi,
It’s definitely not late to join societies. There are new people coming and going in society events and it’s not always a set friend group, there’s always new people in different events. I also wasn’t able to find my friend group until very later in the year. Don’t give up and definitely keep going out to those events 😊😊.
All the best
-Sarah (Kingston Rep)
Reply 15
Original post
by AnonymousUgh I hate uni so far. I’ve not made one friend who I feel like I can text or call or meet up w whenever. I’ve tried my best to be social, and I did get invited to lots of pre’s and night outs which I went to, but I never really enjoyed going w the ppl I’ve met so far. I go uob (brum) and I chose an accommodation that has very posh ppl (despite being one of the cheapest) and can’t find a way to connect w anyone here at all. I’ve also struggled making friends on my course. Is this normal for a first year student, or am I just gonna be lonely for all my uni life?
Hi😊. I really get where you're coming from and please know that you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. Starting Uni can look so social and exciting from outside, but in reality a lot of first year students struggle to find their people straight away.
Some Tips
Joining a few societies or hobby groups
Course group chats or study sessions
Volunteering or part-time work
Being patient with your self, everyone's "uni timeline" is different. Some people meet close friends in term 2 or even year 2.
Trenyce (Kingston Rep)
Reply 16
I went to my first society event. I still have no friends 
Reply 17
Well done for going. Keep up the good work, it’s hard to put yourself out there. Do you play sports? Is there a gym on campus - classes can be a good way to meet people. Would it be worth speaking to the uni support services and let them know you are unhappy. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. Just know it’s not forever and things will improve.
Reply 18
Original post
by AnonymousI went to my first society event. I still have no friends
It’s okay. You did amazing by attending, don’t let the first event stop you and definitely go to more ones !
-Sarah (Kingston Rep)
Reply 19
Original post
by AnonymousHi all. I don’t use tsr often and I only just checked it today. I wasn’t expecting so many responses to my post, and I appreciate all the support I’ve received - it’s making me feel a lot better. However I haven’t had much progress since I wrote the original post. My uni doesn’t really have many societies I’m genuinely interested in, and it feels like everyone in my course has found their group. It’s really frustrating and kinda ruining my uni life so far. I dread the hour breaks between my lectures as I have no one to eat with or sit with. I’ve got my friends from sixth form that I call when I get home, but they’re getting more busy w uni life and making new friends - and I don’t want to hinder them from that. I’ve never felt more lonely in my life, and I don’t really know what to do from here.
I'm so sorry you have been struggling. The first year at uni can be very lonely and difficult for some people, which isn't often talked about. I think that the pressure of it being 'the best years of your life' or the time you 'find your people' can make things even worse, because if you aren't instantly happy and BFFs with people after freshers, you feel like you've done something wrong. I just want to clarify that this is not the case!
You mentioned you have good friends from sixth form which is great to hear. For a large number of people, these are the friends that will stay with you through life as well- just because they're busy with uni life right now it doesn't mean things will change for the worse. You have strong foundations with them as you've grown up together, and this can't be replaced or erased.
However, I truly believe you will make some friends in Birmingham too. Remember that these things do take time, so meeting someone new will of course feel different to speaking to your long-term friends. If you're struggling to meet people at uni or in societies, you could also consider joining a group or club outside of uni, to meet other people in the city. Part time jobs can also be a great way to meet people- I met new friends due to my hospitality job in second year at uni. Does your uni offer any on-campus jobs such as Student Ambassadors? A lot of people make new friends within their uni this way as well, as they may be from different courses or even different year groups.
It's good that you went to a society meeting, I'd encourage you to try some more of these before you write it off.
Things will change, but I know it's difficult right now. It takes effort and work to build those connections so just keep going and you will get there. There are so many people I know who were in this exact situation, but everything worked out for them in the end.
All the best to you,
Ella
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