Mature student and younger students
Hello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I think definitely try and take a step back from things for a minute and remember you're doing the degree for yourself 
Don't let other students prevent you from making the most of it - if you want to engage in discussions in lectures/seminars or ask questions and that supports your learning, do it! Really the other students are only doing a disservice to themselves by not doing so themselves.
I can sympathise though being a mature student myself (although fortunately I'm in a rather small and fairly friendly department). I can definitely relate to not having time for societies and stuff, but maybe see if there's a mature student's society/network and see if you can connect with some other mature students, even just in lunchtime meetings or similar - it helps provide a bit more support and they can probably also relate
Don't let other students prevent you from making the most of it - if you want to engage in discussions in lectures/seminars or ask questions and that supports your learning, do it! Really the other students are only doing a disservice to themselves by not doing so themselves.I can sympathise though being a mature student myself (although fortunately I'm in a rather small and fairly friendly department). I can definitely relate to not having time for societies and stuff, but maybe see if there's a mature student's society/network and see if you can connect with some other mature students, even just in lunchtime meetings or similar - it helps provide a bit more support and they can probably also relate
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
Hi there,
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Everybody deserves to make the most of their experience at university and putting yourself out there to get involved with class discussions shouldn't be a bad thing. I'm sure you have worked hard to be at this stage in your life so please don't let behaviours like this hold you back, you deserve to be there and you belong in this space 😊
I'm a mature student myself and can understand the difficulties with attending society meet ups or engaging with the 'typical' university social life. Something that has helped me has been getting involved with things that tend to run more within working hours, for example I work as a Student Ambassador for the university and have really found my community within this social group. I also try engage with any opportunities that come up within my course department and again have found more likeminded people to myself in these areas - although I will say, my real friendships have really only developed later on in university, I've found it can take a while to find 'your people' and the opportunities that really suit you so try not to be disheartened too quickly and give things time to find you. I really can relate and know it's hard in the beginning so I know it's not easy, but from my experience I'd like to reassure you that things do change 🙏
It may be helpful to browse things like your students union website for anything more suited to your availability? Or even reach out to them yourself to ask if there's anything going on at your university more suited to a mature student? I'd have a look for any Mature Student societies or groups too, we have a Mature Student Society at Salford and its a great way to find people with lifestyles and obligations more similar to your own. You also don't need to commit regular or frequent time to a society, I actually only went to two events last year and only occasionally bobbed into the group chat - but knowing it was there to ask if anyone wants to grab a quick coffee was a nice comfort and sense of community.
In terms of the situation in your classes - I'm sorry that's happening, truly try to take no notice and don't let it hold you back. I can assure you being a mature student is a very normal and common thing and nothing that should cause you to feel unwelcome. It can be very daunting to speak up and get involved in discussions in class but I find it's the best way to be engaged and learn so please don't feel you need to stop, I personally think it's something to be proud of and really encourage you to keep going. You might find you encourage people to get involved more too and I'm sure your lecturers appreciate it 😊
Don't let some negative behaviours hold you back, keep your head up high and keep working at your degree. Things will get easier in time 💝
Becky
University of Salford Student Rep
Reply 3
Original post
by University of Salford Student RepHi there,
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Everybody deserves to make the most of their experience at university and putting yourself out there to get involved with class discussions shouldn't be a bad thing. I'm sure you have worked hard to be at this stage in your life so please don't let behaviours like this hold you back, you deserve to be there and you belong in this space 😊
I'm a mature student myself and can understand the difficulties with attending society meet ups or engaging with the 'typical' university social life. Something that has helped me has been getting involved with things that tend to run more within working hours, for example I work as a Student Ambassador for the university and have really found my community within this social group. I also try engage with any opportunities that come up within my course department and again have found more likeminded people to myself in these areas - although I will say, my real friendships have really only developed later on in university, I've found it can take a while to find 'your people' and the opportunities that really suit you so try not to be disheartened too quickly and give things time to find you. I really can relate and know it's hard in the beginning so I know it's not easy, but from my experience I'd like to reassure you that things do change 🙏
It may be helpful to browse things like your students union website for anything more suited to your availability? Or even reach out to them yourself to ask if there's anything going on at your university more suited to a mature student? I'd have a look for any Mature Student societies or groups too, we have a Mature Student Society at Salford and its a great way to find people with lifestyles and obligations more similar to your own. You also don't need to commit regular or frequent time to a society, I actually only went to two events last year and only occasionally bobbed into the group chat - but knowing it was there to ask if anyone wants to grab a quick coffee was a nice comfort and sense of community.
In terms of the situation in your classes - I'm sorry that's happening, truly try to take no notice and don't let it hold you back. I can assure you being a mature student is a very normal and common thing and nothing that should cause you to feel unwelcome. It can be very daunting to speak up and get involved in discussions in class but I find it's the best way to be engaged and learn so please don't feel you need to stop, I personally think it's something to be proud of and really encourage you to keep going. You might find you encourage people to get involved more too and I'm sure your lecturers appreciate it 😊
Don't let some negative behaviours hold you back, keep your head up high and keep working at your degree. Things will get easier in time 💝
Becky
University of Salford Student Rep
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Everybody deserves to make the most of their experience at university and putting yourself out there to get involved with class discussions shouldn't be a bad thing. I'm sure you have worked hard to be at this stage in your life so please don't let behaviours like this hold you back, you deserve to be there and you belong in this space 😊
I'm a mature student myself and can understand the difficulties with attending society meet ups or engaging with the 'typical' university social life. Something that has helped me has been getting involved with things that tend to run more within working hours, for example I work as a Student Ambassador for the university and have really found my community within this social group. I also try engage with any opportunities that come up within my course department and again have found more likeminded people to myself in these areas - although I will say, my real friendships have really only developed later on in university, I've found it can take a while to find 'your people' and the opportunities that really suit you so try not to be disheartened too quickly and give things time to find you. I really can relate and know it's hard in the beginning so I know it's not easy, but from my experience I'd like to reassure you that things do change 🙏
It may be helpful to browse things like your students union website for anything more suited to your availability? Or even reach out to them yourself to ask if there's anything going on at your university more suited to a mature student? I'd have a look for any Mature Student societies or groups too, we have a Mature Student Society at Salford and its a great way to find people with lifestyles and obligations more similar to your own. You also don't need to commit regular or frequent time to a society, I actually only went to two events last year and only occasionally bobbed into the group chat - but knowing it was there to ask if anyone wants to grab a quick coffee was a nice comfort and sense of community.
In terms of the situation in your classes - I'm sorry that's happening, truly try to take no notice and don't let it hold you back. I can assure you being a mature student is a very normal and common thing and nothing that should cause you to feel unwelcome. It can be very daunting to speak up and get involved in discussions in class but I find it's the best way to be engaged and learn so please don't feel you need to stop, I personally think it's something to be proud of and really encourage you to keep going. You might find you encourage people to get involved more too and I'm sure your lecturers appreciate it 😊
Don't let some negative behaviours hold you back, keep your head up high and keep working at your degree. Things will get easier in time 💝
Becky
University of Salford Student Rep
Thanks for the response. I was severely bullied when I was younger during work for a year. It's grating on my anxiety and making me really uncomfortable.
I don't have a lot of interests but most societies are run in the evening I've found here. I'll have a look at something else though. Thank you
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
Hi @Anonymous 👋
I am sorry you are feeling that way. Remember that you are doing the degree for yourself and not others. It is for your benefit you ask and answer questions. The age gap issue is common in university but dont let it put you down. Just focus on yourself and ignore them if it helps. It is better if you ask and answer questions and learn more than stop because of others.
Hope this gets better soon 🙂
Essex Student Rep- Lavanya 💜
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm 43 and just started my 1st year. Feel like I'm in totally the same situation as you. Only thing getting me through is thinking that the more I engage with the work in lectures and seminars, the better my results will be, and there fore the better my post-uni options. It's 3 years of feeling on my own for the good of my future. Take a good book with you and enjoy the chance for peace and quiet.
Reply 6
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
Hi there,
I am so sorry that you have been feeling this way - it's not nice and you should be able to enjoy being at uni without feeling like others are laughing at you or not getting on with you for no reason.
I agree with what has been said here in that you shouldn't let this stop you from engaging and getting involved. I know it can be tricky when you are feeling isolated, but you are doing this for yourself so it is important to ensure you are still getting involved as much as you want to!
I would also look for any other socials that you might want to join. I know it might not be as easy as it would be for someone with less commitments and living on campus, but there may be some more low commitment ones that are easier for you, or maybe one for mature students which could be fun. It's worth a look!
You could also have a look on social media and see if you can meet anyone on there who is a part of your uni, whether this is on your course or not as this could be a good way of meeting people too!
I hope some of this helps,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador 🙂
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
Hiya,
I am so sorry to hear about your experience with your classmates.
As a mature student myself coming into a very cliquey and competitive course culture was a difficult adjustment. It took a while to meet likeminded and friendly people I could connect with 🙂 I've made friends from other departments and schools through my part time job as a student ambassador and by joining societies which made my time at uni enjoyable. There might be some one off society or student union events (eg. film screenings, hikes...)you might be able to join to meet new people outside of your course 🤗
All the best!
Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Reply 8
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I am attending UoN and I am experiencing a similar problem.
I am 24, and I have found when I disclose this to people on my course they are weirded out and they distance themselves from me during discussions in seminars or even seating in lectures.
I unfortunately can not offer any advice but I want you to know you are not alone and I hope things get better. ❤️
Reply 9
Original post
by hallamstudentsHi there,
I am so sorry that you have been feeling this way - it's not nice and you should be able to enjoy being at uni without feeling like others are laughing at you or not getting on with you for no reason.
I agree with what has been said here in that you shouldn't let this stop you from engaging and getting involved. I know it can be tricky when you are feeling isolated, but you are doing this for yourself so it is important to ensure you are still getting involved as much as you want to!
I would also look for any other socials that you might want to join. I know it might not be as easy as it would be for someone with less commitments and living on campus, but there may be some more low commitment ones that are easier for you, or maybe one for mature students which could be fun. It's worth a look!
You could also have a look on social media and see if you can meet anyone on there who is a part of your uni, whether this is on your course or not as this could be a good way of meeting people too!
I hope some of this helps,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador 🙂
I am so sorry that you have been feeling this way - it's not nice and you should be able to enjoy being at uni without feeling like others are laughing at you or not getting on with you for no reason.
I agree with what has been said here in that you shouldn't let this stop you from engaging and getting involved. I know it can be tricky when you are feeling isolated, but you are doing this for yourself so it is important to ensure you are still getting involved as much as you want to!
I would also look for any other socials that you might want to join. I know it might not be as easy as it would be for someone with less commitments and living on campus, but there may be some more low commitment ones that are easier for you, or maybe one for mature students which could be fun. It's worth a look!
You could also have a look on social media and see if you can meet anyone on there who is a part of your uni, whether this is on your course or not as this could be a good way of meeting people too!
I hope some of this helps,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador 🙂
Thank you. This really does help. I just wish there was something for mother's to do in societies that are during school hours
Reply 10
Original post
by batskvllzI am attending UoN and I am experiencing a similar problem.
I am 24, and I have found when I disclose this to people on my course they are weirded out and they distance themselves from me during discussions in seminars or even seating in lectures.
I unfortunately can not offer any advice but I want you to know you are not alone and I hope things get better. ❤️
I am 24, and I have found when I disclose this to people on my course they are weirded out and they distance themselves from me during discussions in seminars or even seating in lectures.
I unfortunately can not offer any advice but I want you to know you are not alone and I hope things get better. ❤️
Thank you. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. I've sat by myself as well and only interacted with classmates when we're in groups
Reply 11
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I can really relate to what you’re saying, I was a mature student too, and honestly, I know how isolating it can feel at times. It took me a lot longer to settle in and find my people. Most of the younger students on my course were lovely, but we were just at really different stages in life with totally different interests, so it was hard to connect on more than a surface level.
There were other mature students across the uni though, some on my course and others I met later on through classes and placements, and once I found them, it made such a difference. You really aren’t the only one feeling this way, even if it seems that way right now.
Try not to give up or get discouraged, remember why you’re there and the reasons you made this huge, brave decision in the first place. Choosing to study later in life and change direction is such a courageous thing to do, and you should genuinely be proud of yourself for that. You’re showing determination, resilience, and ambition, qualities that are going to take you far, both in your degree and beyond it.
It’s completely okay to focus on your current support system, family, friends, anyone outside of uni who makes you feel grounded. That connection matters more than trying to fit into a group that doesn’t appreciate you. At the same time, keep yourself open to small connections at uni, sometimes it’s that one classmate you chat with about coursework or someone you bump into regularly who ends up becoming a friend.
And please don’t stop speaking up in class. You’ve worked hard to get there and your perspective matters. I know it’s hard when people behave immaturely, but don’t let that silence you. If the behaviour continues or makes you dread participating, definitely raise it with your lecturer, they can step in and address it discreetly. You deserve to feel comfortable and respected in your learning environment.
You’re doing something amazing, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Keep showing up, doing your best, and holding your head high. You’re not there to impress them, you’re there for you and your future, and you’re absolutely capable of thriving.
Good luck! Sophie 🙂
Reply 12
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
Hi,
I am really sorry you’re going through this. Unfortunately a lot of young adults in uni can be a little bit immature since they just finished college/sixth form. But please don’t let this get to you, you’re doing this degree for yourself and your future, not for them. And if anyone oversteps their boundaries you should voice it to some of the course leads or your personal tutor.
Stay strong
-Sarah (Kingston Rep)
Reply 13
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
Hey I hope you’re ok.
I can only imagine what this is like, I’m 33 and applied to start Uni in 2026 and this thought has crossed my mind although I do love being on my own so secretly would probably be happy 😂 I’ve also got my own business so I’ll more than likely be the same as you and keeping myself to myself but it can’t be nice in class to feel like that.
What subject are you studying? I’m assuming you started this year, if so it’s still early days so I’d try not to focus on it too much. If it’s really getting to you try speaking to one of your tutors about it to see if they can advise anything that may help.
Best of luck 🤞🏽
Reply 14
Original post
by AnonymousHello
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
I'm at NTU and I'm in my 30s.
I have noticed my course group getting very clique centred.
I'm struggling.
I have life commitments that mean I can't attend societies etc and I'm not a fan of alcohol anymore (been there and done that). I eat lunch alone and I don't expect to be invited to sit with others. I feel very ostracised and like an outcast. It's making University something I'm starting to regret.
I have noticed that when I raise my voice for discussions in lectures there is a scoff and muttering from a specific group.
I get it, they don't like me. I've done nothing wrong but it's starting to get to me. Personalities clash and not everyone will get on with everyone, I also know that this isn't forever but it is three years of my life.
I've decided to just stop talking in class. In fact I'm not really happy, I find myself wanting to do the lecture and work and go home.
Anyone else have any experience here?
I don't want to make waves at all. I just want to get my degree and start on the next chapter of my life.
Any advice here would be lovely.
Thank you
Hi,
I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it sounds difficult. One thing that can help is trying to connect with smaller groups or classmates in lectures, and joining societies or clubs that match your interests, where you may meet people outside the usual clique. Keeping up hobbies or activities outside classes can also be a good way to meet like-minded people. It may also be worth using student support services too, talking to someone can really help. Please don’t let people put you down, you deserve to be here as much as anyone else.
Wishing you all the best,
Tayba
Student Rep
Original post
by AnonymousThanks for the response. I was severely bullied when I was younger during work for a year. It's grating on my anxiety and making me really uncomfortable.
I don't have a lot of interests but most societies are run in the evening I've found here. I'll have a look at something else though. Thank you
I don't have a lot of interests but most societies are run in the evening I've found here. I'll have a look at something else though. Thank you
I'm sorry to hear that, no one should have to experience that especially when you're just trying to get involved and work at your education. It might be good to speak to your lecturer if the problem carries on too as it is part of their job to make sure the learning environment is a welcoming place for everybody 💓
I've found reaching out to my uni's student support services really helpful to have someone to talk to and I really do recommend getting out with your student's union to see if there's anything going on which will be more suited to you.
As I hope you can see from all the lovely responses on this feed too, there is always a place on here for you to reach out too and feel some support.
You'll get there and well done for keeping going 😊
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