My daughter deppressed at uni
my daughter moved away from home to go to uni living in halls. She is sociable but not into the drinking/clubbing scene. Had a bad experience from the off due to other 7 flatmates drinking and partying every day and night in the kitchen area and felt uneasy going into kitchen when crowded with everyone drinking. Advised her should get quieter after freshers but situation didn’t change and ended up moving her into a studio within halls. We have been bringing her home for the weekends and thought she was much happier and she told us she was but recently she has had a complete meltdown saying she is crying all the time for no reason and doesn’t know why and doesn’t want to feel this way. I’ve told her this could be a bit of depression taking over. Discussed coming home and starting a new yr next yr at uni close to home. She says doesn’t want to feel like a failure and does not want to regret the decision if she leaves. Adv her not a failure for doing so and can start again next yr. joust wondered if anyone else has experienced this situation
Reply 1
I am similar, I don't go out at all to clubs or drink. I think looking into societies might help. My uni has a lot of quieter societies like crochet society!
I was also in the exact same situation as her in my 1st year of uni. I went at 18 and I moved to London and absolutely hated it. I lived next door to a techno guy who used to play music incredibly loudly and it drove me insane 😭 I also became rly depressed and I just hated all the noise amongst other things. I have autism and anxiety so noise really does set me off; I had so many sleepless nights and breakdowns. I dropped out after 1st year and had a gap year and I've reapplied to a different uni and just started 1st year again in september! I am really enjoying it a lot more this time. I know what to expect and I was a lot more prepared. My university is also a lot better suited to me and theres a lot of chiller societies. I also made friends before going to the uni online (we were all going to the same uni) and so that's made me a lot happier. I am living in halls and some issues still remain like noise. My university does have quiet and sober flats but I applied to my accommodation later on so I missed out on these but if I stayed in halls in second year I would do that! I think also going to university a bit older (I'm 20) is really nice because my brain has matured significantly and during my year out I received a lot of mental health support and therapy which has really built up my resilience and helped me deal with a lot more things.
She would not be a failure for leaving at all! Sometimes unis just arent right for people. Its about finding what works for her. Its much better to start over in a more comfortable environment because then she can put all her effort into the degree instead of being mentally drained by her situation. I'd say start going to open days at the uni close to home and if she is rly set on it then redo the year there! It was definitely the right choice for me to leave I'm so happy i switched.
I was also in the exact same situation as her in my 1st year of uni. I went at 18 and I moved to London and absolutely hated it. I lived next door to a techno guy who used to play music incredibly loudly and it drove me insane 😭 I also became rly depressed and I just hated all the noise amongst other things. I have autism and anxiety so noise really does set me off; I had so many sleepless nights and breakdowns. I dropped out after 1st year and had a gap year and I've reapplied to a different uni and just started 1st year again in september! I am really enjoying it a lot more this time. I know what to expect and I was a lot more prepared. My university is also a lot better suited to me and theres a lot of chiller societies. I also made friends before going to the uni online (we were all going to the same uni) and so that's made me a lot happier. I am living in halls and some issues still remain like noise. My university does have quiet and sober flats but I applied to my accommodation later on so I missed out on these but if I stayed in halls in second year I would do that! I think also going to university a bit older (I'm 20) is really nice because my brain has matured significantly and during my year out I received a lot of mental health support and therapy which has really built up my resilience and helped me deal with a lot more things.
She would not be a failure for leaving at all! Sometimes unis just arent right for people. Its about finding what works for her. Its much better to start over in a more comfortable environment because then she can put all her effort into the degree instead of being mentally drained by her situation. I'd say start going to open days at the uni close to home and if she is rly set on it then redo the year there! It was definitely the right choice for me to leave I'm so happy i switched.
Reply 2
Parent11
OP
2
Thank you for sharing it’s helped
My daughter suffers from depression. She started uni just over 2 weeks ago. She was doing okay at first but she's currently in a depressive slump (three days so far). I'm just trying to bring her back out of it - we're doing video calls, I'm encouraging her to get out of bed, to open her curtains, to put some clothes on, etc.
Baby steps.
She's enjoying her course but she only has classes 2 days a week - it's when she's on her own in her room that her mood starts sinking.
There's a mixology class tonight that I'm currently trying to encourage her to go to, but she needs a shower first so I'm not sure she will go.
I did get her to wash her face so it's a start.
I totally understand what you're dealing with here. All you can do is be supportive and encouraging.
Baby steps.
She's enjoying her course but she only has classes 2 days a week - it's when she's on her own in her room that her mood starts sinking.
There's a mixology class tonight that I'm currently trying to encourage her to go to, but she needs a shower first so I'm not sure she will go.
I did get her to wash her face so it's a start.
I totally understand what you're dealing with here. All you can do is be supportive and encouraging.
Reply 4
Parent11
OP
2
Thank you
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- need advice pls
- Freshers week for commuters
- Roommate problems
- Bullying at University
- Warwick or Durham Economics
- A levels
- Medicine deferred entry question
- which medicine university should i apply to
- Any Mountview starts 2025 looking to share?
- How to help my daughter: needs timeout from uni?
- Edinburgh offers
- University application to Scottish universities as an English applicant
- Queens University Belfast
- Accommodation in university of Manchester
- Loughborough fine art
- Uni funding
- Contextual Offer
- York, Warwick, Loughborough for Biosciences?
- What’s the best first year module to accompany first year psychology and biology?
- Edinburgh 2025 MFL offers
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 weeks ago
What food item are you currently craving?Last reply 1 month ago
Domino's pizza personal size vs small sizeLast reply 2 months ago
Am I the only one who hates holidays especially the summer holidays?Last reply 4 months ago
Anyone else been out of work for 9 years in a row?Last reply 4 months ago
parents wont let me take the course i want to takeLast reply 4 months ago
How do I tell my instructor I don't want lessons with her anymore?Last reply 4 months ago
Where can I find good-quality alternatives to luxury fashion clothing?Articles for you
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
