Homesick at university
I get homesick often, particularly at night, out of the blue. It's my first year at uni, I've been here 4 weeks. As an only child with a stay at home mum growing up, I'm really close to my parents, we used to do everything together.
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Reply 1
18
Hi there. This is very common. You must remember that this is a big change for you, and the independence will take some time to get used to. Are you able to get home for the occasional weekend, or get your parents to visit you? Things will get easier, but it will take some time to settle in to your new environment. Take care, and continue to enjoy your course.
Reply 2
Hi, sorry you are feeling like this 😕.
As John says though it really is normal to be feeling like this and I'm sure a lot of your course mates are also feeling similar. It's natural to be missing your parents when you sound so close.
When you're feeling like this, can you call or message your parents - I'm sure they are still there for you to turn to, just in a slightly different way.
As long as you're enjoying your course and uni life this side of things will start to feel better soon 😊
thanks,
Claire
As John says though it really is normal to be feeling like this and I'm sure a lot of your course mates are also feeling similar. It's natural to be missing your parents when you sound so close.
When you're feeling like this, can you call or message your parents - I'm sure they are still there for you to turn to, just in a slightly different way.
As long as you're enjoying your course and uni life this side of things will start to feel better soon 😊
thanks,
Claire
Reply 3
20
Every day write yourself some little messages on sticky-notes and put them on your bedroom wall - what something someone said that made you laugh, a nice moment with friends, something you did like walking through autumn leaves, a coffee with classmates, a good grade, all that nice stuff. If you do this everyday, soon the positive moments become your day, and not the negative stuff. And, reading novels, listening to music, a warm drink etc are good ways to 'settle your head' before you go to sleep.
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousI get homesick often, particularly at night, out of the blue. It's my first year at uni, I've been here 4 weeks. As an only child with a stay at home mum growing up, I'm really close to my parents, we used to do everything together.
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Hi @Anonymous 👋
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. I want to assure you that it is a normal feeling and very common in university. I joined Essex last year and my first week i was upset and homesick. I am very close to my family as well so was feeling very off. Once I started classes, it kept me busy and I made friends as well so have gotten used to it. However even now I like to try and go home every week if I can for the weekend!
You will be fine, try and distract yourself with classes or maybe joining societies and going to university events. Hopefully it will be better soon.
Essex Student Rep - Lavanya 💜
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousI get homesick often, particularly at night, out of the blue. It's my first year at uni, I've been here 4 weeks. As an only child with a stay at home mum growing up, I'm really close to my parents, we used to do everything together.
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Hi there,
I am sorry that you have been feeling like this, I know it can be tricky when you are feeling homesick while you are at uni so I know this must be tricky for you.
I thought I would just respond to this in case it reassures you at all. Firstly, I would say that feeling homesick while you are at uni is completely normal and don't worry too much as the more you get into your routine and just being at uni in general it will start to get easier.
Here are some things which have always helped me with homesickness while at uni and I hope some of these at least might help you:
•
Make plans to call your family and friends so that you feel involved in what they are doing and you can keep them updated on what you are doing so you feel more involved and connected. This really helped me a lot and I always looked forward to it!
•
Try and do one thing every day that you can look forward to. So, maybe getting a sweet treat from the shops, or having a look around some shops - just something little that you like to do to look forward to!
•
Similarly, making sure you are getting out of the house is important too. Try and get one once a day, especially if you have no other plans and just go for a walk or get out of the house to take your mind off things.
•
I also like having a plan of when I am next going home, or when I will next see my family if they come and visit me. I find that having a plan of when I am going home helps me to not think about it as much as I know when it will be, rather than trying to plan when I could see them if that makes sense.
I hope some of this helps,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador 🙂
Reply 6
Original post
by AnonymousI get homesick often, particularly at night, out of the blue. It's my first year at uni, I've been here 4 weeks. As an only child with a stay at home mum growing up, I'm really close to my parents, we used to do everything together.
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Hi there,
I am Ilya, a Cyber Security student at De Montfort University. I remember feeling somewhat same throughout my first year at university. There have been plenty of great advice in this thread so far, but what really helped me in my particular circumstances was always staying busy with something. I started going gym, working part-time, doing my own small personal projects, preparing to industry certifications, joining student societies, attending all possible events, volunteering and much much more. When you keep yourself busy - ideally while doing something meaningful and helpful to yourself or others - all the worries tend to go away and you start getting used to a your new adult life.
Please do not hesitate to ask any questions you may have,
Ilya
Reply 7
Hiya,
I completely understand- I felt the same way when I started uni, as I'm really close with my family, and I moved far away! For me, it was also during lockdown, so I couldn't go home or visit friends. These would be my top tips:
- Have regular phonecalls/ FaceTimes/ videos with your friends and family from home: Lots of your friends may have also moved away for uni so it's fun to keep each other up to date on your different experiences. It's easy for all of you to get whisked away into the new experiences you're beginning, so it can be comforting and grounding to have check-ins with the people who've known you for years.
- Get into a routine: You've just been thrown out of what may have been the same routine you've always had. This can feel really daunting, so it's nice to try and get settled into a routine that is new but also familiar. Uni classes and household chores (including the weekly shop!) will help with this, but nice things like a regular coffee shop order, or a walking route will help with this. I always loved an evening walk back home, so I had to find a route I liked in Liverpool so that I could start walking in autopilot again as if I was in my hometown!
-Throw yourself into it: The classic advice for a reason. There is so much to do that time will be flying by for you anyway. Try to take on any new experiences that you can handle! But...
-Take care of yourself: there's a lot of pressure to be on every night out, joining every society, going to every campus event, for the fear of missing something, or not doing uni "right". It's equally important to know when you just need some alone time, curled up in your room watching your childhood comfort show.
-Decorate your room: we all have different styles, but I loved the opportunity to create a really colourful and cosy space. I felt really 'at home' in my dorm room by the end of the year, and was sad to leave. This space is your sanctuary so don't underestimate the power of decorations and a few home comforts!
-Try and stay in your new city for as long as possible, but remember you can always go home: There were times I was desperate to go home, but the time really does fly and you'll be back before you know it. I think that if I'd gone home earlier I may have struggled to come back again! Having said that, knowing that you have the option is always really comforting, especially if you don't live far. A little weekend at home to recharge could be exactly what you need, and a nice thing to have booked in.
-Chat to your new friends/flatmates: it's likely that you're all feeling different versions of the same thing. Remember you're all in this together.
I still live in Liverpool now, and it really feels like a second home. It's lovely to feel so excited to go back home, and for time with family to feel special, and I also get that "I'm home" feeling when I arrive back in Liverpool. This is a feeling that its built over time, and with new memories being made. It won't happen overnight, and it's so normal to feel how you feel right now. I promise it will all be okay!
Ella 🙂
LHU Rep
I completely understand- I felt the same way when I started uni, as I'm really close with my family, and I moved far away! For me, it was also during lockdown, so I couldn't go home or visit friends. These would be my top tips:
- Have regular phonecalls/ FaceTimes/ videos with your friends and family from home: Lots of your friends may have also moved away for uni so it's fun to keep each other up to date on your different experiences. It's easy for all of you to get whisked away into the new experiences you're beginning, so it can be comforting and grounding to have check-ins with the people who've known you for years.
- Get into a routine: You've just been thrown out of what may have been the same routine you've always had. This can feel really daunting, so it's nice to try and get settled into a routine that is new but also familiar. Uni classes and household chores (including the weekly shop!) will help with this, but nice things like a regular coffee shop order, or a walking route will help with this. I always loved an evening walk back home, so I had to find a route I liked in Liverpool so that I could start walking in autopilot again as if I was in my hometown!
-Throw yourself into it: The classic advice for a reason. There is so much to do that time will be flying by for you anyway. Try to take on any new experiences that you can handle! But...
-Take care of yourself: there's a lot of pressure to be on every night out, joining every society, going to every campus event, for the fear of missing something, or not doing uni "right". It's equally important to know when you just need some alone time, curled up in your room watching your childhood comfort show.
-Decorate your room: we all have different styles, but I loved the opportunity to create a really colourful and cosy space. I felt really 'at home' in my dorm room by the end of the year, and was sad to leave. This space is your sanctuary so don't underestimate the power of decorations and a few home comforts!
-Try and stay in your new city for as long as possible, but remember you can always go home: There were times I was desperate to go home, but the time really does fly and you'll be back before you know it. I think that if I'd gone home earlier I may have struggled to come back again! Having said that, knowing that you have the option is always really comforting, especially if you don't live far. A little weekend at home to recharge could be exactly what you need, and a nice thing to have booked in.
-Chat to your new friends/flatmates: it's likely that you're all feeling different versions of the same thing. Remember you're all in this together.
I still live in Liverpool now, and it really feels like a second home. It's lovely to feel so excited to go back home, and for time with family to feel special, and I also get that "I'm home" feeling when I arrive back in Liverpool. This is a feeling that its built over time, and with new memories being made. It won't happen overnight, and it's so normal to feel how you feel right now. I promise it will all be okay!
Ella 🙂
LHU Rep
Reply 8
Original post
by JohnB1Hi there. This is very common. You must remember that this is a big change for you, and the independence will take some time to get used to. Are you able to get home for the occasional weekend, or get your parents to visit you? Things will get easier, but it will take some time to settle in to your new environment. Take care, and continue to enjoy your course.
Hi, I'm able to go home most weekends fortunately. As it's been a month now, I'm less homesick than I was and coping better with independence. 🙂
Reply 9
homesickness hits hardest when your world suddenly stops revolving around the people who raised you. it’s not weakness, it’s your brain adjusting. but uni’s also where you start building yourself and figuring out what comfort looks like when you’re the one giving it. missing home is just phase one, the start of learning you can be your own safe place too.
Reply 10
18
Original post
by LilacfernHi, I'm able to go home most weekends fortunately. As it's been a month now, I'm less homesick than I was and coping better with independence. 🙂
Hi there. Great to hear that things are improving for you. Take care.
Reply 11
Original post
by AnonymousI get homesick often, particularly at night, out of the blue. It's my first year at uni, I've been here 4 weeks. As an only child with a stay at home mum growing up, I'm really close to my parents, we used to do everything together.
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
Now I'm at uni, I'm enjoying it, but I keep missing home. I'll think im fine but then suddenly I won't be. For example, when I see parents walking their children to school, it'll set me off and I'll suddenly want to cry. Or in a Netflix series when a parent reassures their teenager and gives them a great big hug.
I am enjoying uni, but I feel like I'm missing out on hugs and having someone to look after me and always be there as someone I can turn to
That’s such a relatable feeling, and honestly, you’re not alone in this at all, even if it feels that way right now. Moving away from home for the first time, especially when you’ve got such a close bond with your parents, is a massive adjustment. It’s completely normal to feel that pang of homesickness out of nowhere, those little reminders of home, like seeing parents with their kids or certain moments in shows, can really catch you off guard. It doesn’t mean you’re not coping, it just means you’re human and that you have strong connections to the people who raised you.
When I first moved away (I didn’t study in London, but moved there at 18), I remember feeling the same way, that sudden ache for the comfort and familiarity of home, even while enjoying the independence. What helped me was keeping small parts of “home” with me. Little things like video calls in the evenings, watching something with my family over FaceTime, or even cooking a meal that reminded me of home made such a difference. Having those small comforts makes the distance feel a bit smaller.
It might also help to build yourself a bit of a “routine of comfort” for evenings, maybe a warm drink, journaling, or calling home before bed. It gives you something grounding to look forward to when those homesick moments hit. Planning little trips home for weekends can really help too, just having a visit to look forward to makes the weeks feel easier. When I moved away from my family, I’d usually visit home about four or five times a year, and honestly, as soon as I was back from one trip, I’d already be planning the next.
And remember….you’re still settling in. It’s only been four weeks, and it takes time to adjust emotionally as well as practically. The good thing is you are enjoying uni, that shows you’re on the right path, you just haven’t found your rhythm yet between independence and missing home. You absolutely will, it just takes a little time.
Be kind to yourself…. missing home doesn’t mean you’re not coping or that you’re not ready for this. It means you’ve got people who love you deeply, and that’s something really special. Over time, uni will start to feel like a second home too, even if right now it’s still finding its place in your heart.
Good luck! I hope you settle in soon and find that balance. Sophie 🙂
Reply 12
Hi There,
I'm sorry to hear about these nerves, homesickness is really difficult especially when you are living somewhere quite far away.
Here's some advice that might help if you need it:
Join Clubs and Societies- These clubs and societies will help you find activities to fill your time. Find one that you are interested in and you should be able to make friends within the society that you can spend time with whenever you feel homesick.
Attend Student Union Events- The more you go out and attend events, the less time you have to feel homesick, so go to any events the university or Student Union put on for you.
Check Your University Advice and Wellbeing Team- What does the university offer you? Some universities have counselling services and advice and wellbeing sessions and staff to support you if you feel homesick. Additionally, you can speak to your personal tutor and they should be able to offer you some guidance.
Get A Railcard- I like to go home every 2-3 weeks and a 18-25 railcard has been a lifesaver, it has made train journeys much more affordable, so it could possibly help you travel home more often if it's something you want to do.
Call Friends and Family- With the modern age of technology, your family are just a call away, make time to face time or talk to them on the phone when you miss them. I know it's not the same as seeing them in person, but it really helps.
I hope some of these tips help, moving away from home can be difficult especially if it's for the first time.
All The Best
From Josh
Official LJMU Student Rep
I'm sorry to hear about these nerves, homesickness is really difficult especially when you are living somewhere quite far away.
Here's some advice that might help if you need it:
Join Clubs and Societies- These clubs and societies will help you find activities to fill your time. Find one that you are interested in and you should be able to make friends within the society that you can spend time with whenever you feel homesick.
Attend Student Union Events- The more you go out and attend events, the less time you have to feel homesick, so go to any events the university or Student Union put on for you.
Check Your University Advice and Wellbeing Team- What does the university offer you? Some universities have counselling services and advice and wellbeing sessions and staff to support you if you feel homesick. Additionally, you can speak to your personal tutor and they should be able to offer you some guidance.
Get A Railcard- I like to go home every 2-3 weeks and a 18-25 railcard has been a lifesaver, it has made train journeys much more affordable, so it could possibly help you travel home more often if it's something you want to do.
Call Friends and Family- With the modern age of technology, your family are just a call away, make time to face time or talk to them on the phone when you miss them. I know it's not the same as seeing them in person, but it really helps.
I hope some of these tips help, moving away from home can be difficult especially if it's for the first time.
All The Best
From Josh
Official LJMU Student Rep
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