Was he in the wrong?

This happened a few months ago and I don’t see this person anymore but I have been thinking about an incident between me and him.

I went round his for the first time after a few dates. I could tell he wanted sex but I didn’t as I was still deciding if I wanted to go that far with him. We ended up going to bed, that’s it. But in the night, he kept humping me. I asked him to stop but he wouldn’t. I also noticed, generally, he would keep touching my back on dates and try kissing me. I would also ask him to stop his and dodged his kisses. He kept saying to me how attracted he was to me too. After all of this, I ended up leaving in the middle of the night because I was fed up of saying no and that meaning yes to him.

I guess I kinda felt after being with him that I should have left earlier and that it really was a big big violation and could even be seen as assault. It has left me with a weird taste in my mouth as no one has really behaved like that to me before. It really felt like he was wanting to use me body even though, otherwise, he would take me out on nice dates and behave appropriately. It was weird too as he was a lot older than me so I assumed I wouldn’t get that sort of behaviour from him.

Moral of the story: humping and someone continuing to touch you after no/muliple nos is wrong

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

He was in the wrong. It was sexual assault.
You did right to get up in the middle of the night and to leave.

He was an idiot. He should have taken your first "No" as a sign that he should either give you a platonic hug, something nice, but not sexual, something you'd have been comfortable with. Or he should have done something else, whilst allowing you to sleep. Such as him getting on with his sleep. Or him getting up and doing something useful on his computer.

The right man for you will be someone with whom you are so attracted that you naturally get intimate with him quickly. Or it will be a man that's happy for the intimacy to be a slow burner. Either way, the frame will be that he's attracted to you, but that he wants sex less (slightly less) than you do.

I think you were right to assume the best in him until proven otherwise. As it's good to be positive about other people; meeting them, spending time with them, getting to know them.

Reply 2

ChessMaster89

Original post

by picklejuice_

This happened a few months ago and I don’t see this person anymore but I have been thinking about an incident between me and him.
I went round his for the first time after a few dates. I could tell he wanted sex but I didn’t as I was still deciding if I wanted to go that far with him. We ended up going to bed, that’s it. But in the night, he kept humping me. I asked him to stop but he wouldn’t. I also noticed, generally, he would keep touching my back on dates and try kissing me. I would also ask him to stop his and dodged his kisses. He kept saying to me how attracted he was to me too. After all of this, I ended up leaving in the middle of the night because I was fed up of saying no and that meaning yes to him.
I guess I kinda felt after being with him that I should have left earlier and that it really was a big big violation and could even be seen as assault. It has left me with a weird taste in my mouth as no one has really behaved like that to me before. It really felt like he was wanting to use me body even though, otherwise, he would take me out on nice dates and behave appropriately. It was weird too as he was a lot older than me so I assumed I wouldn’t get that sort of behaviour from him.
Moral of the story: humping and someone continuing to touch you after no/muliple nos is wrong

Always go with your gut, if you want to leave then leave and you shouldn’t be stopped, don’t ever feel scared of being seen as ‘rude’ or anything because your not, just leave if you feel you want.

Usually when a woman agrees to go to a man’s place/home then the man will obviously take that as acceptance of sex perhaps being on the cards. BUT he didn’t just flirt he sexually assaulted you and raped you by the sounds of things.

Did you report this dangerous individual to the Police by any chance?