Is this normal

I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for 2 years and I honestly think the only thing keeping me from leaving is the emotional attachment and the fear of being alone and starting over.
I do love him to pieces but he’s stopped being supportive towards me and my big achievements at ALL. I’ve brought it up with him but idk if he’ll change
He’s also stopped being as affectionate towards me and has stopped calling me pretty/ gorgeous as much unprovoked
Idk if this is normal for long term relationships or not. I literally have to ask for affection recently
Please could I have some advice

Reply 1

WhisperSmoke

If you're doubting your relationship, break up or take a break. Chances are his priorities changed, he's losing/lost feelings, or some other issues are affecting his life in general. It was clear he had feelings before, with what you're saying, but something must've happened for him to act like it. Maybe a break would do both of you good, or you be more subtle with your affection. Like a 'I'm right here if you want to talk', assuming he has other issues. I doubt this is your fault and probably a burn out or whatnot.

But yes, emotional attachment and fear is a high factor of not being able to leave him, a lot of people experience it, and maybe it'll do you both good. Discuss it one more time with him. "Look. Things have changed and I want you to be honest with me. If you can't physically be with me anymore, then we'll have to break up because both of us are getting tired."

(edited 4 weeks ago)

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

"I love him to pieces but he treats me like something he's trodden in that is stuck to the bottom of his shoe."

Is that about the size of it?

Actions speak louder than words.

Yes it is normal for the honeymoon period to wear off 6 months to 24 months into a relationship.
At that stage, all the good points of the partner get taken for granted and focus is shifted to all the bad points.
There's a high chance that if you look back things, you'd see that the warning were there as to what he'd turn out like. For example, the way he speaks to his mum and dad, that will probably be how he speaks to you now.

It's the oldest mistake in the book to stay with someone in the hope that they will change for the better.
Trying to change your romantic partner is also a mistake. Influence them, yes. But don't try to change them. Either accept and tolerate them as they are, or get out of the relationship.

He seems to be hopeless at long term relationships.
The longer a relationship goes on, the more important it is to go on lovey dovey dates, or week-ends or holidays away.
The longer a relationship goes on, the more important it is to regard it as a partnership, with you giving your partner almost as much love and affection as you give yourself.

Any relationship of any duration should be built on win wins. It sounds like he's poor at creating win wins with you?

Please feel free to tell us about any outstandingly good features that he has.
If he is outstanding in one or more areas, it might be worth you sticking with him, and developing your own self-esteem and self-approval, as an armour for his emotional coldness.
If he's just a fairly ordinary, run of the mill guy, you should dump him, enjoy your freedom as a single person, and start your search for a new boyfriend.