How common is it to have literally no friends at uni?

17

Just what the title says, how common is it to have literally no friends at uni. I’m in my final year and the entire time I’ve been here have not made a single friend lol. I’m friendly and try to make conversation (which is something that's admittedly extremely difficult for me as someone who’s extremely quiet and introverted) but I’ve not been able to make a single friend. It usually doesn’t bother me but sometimes I get into my head thinking there must be something fundamentally wrong with me because I’ve not got any friends, and it can obviously be extremely lonely. From people I see, it feels like I’m just some complete anomaly and there’s something wrong with me. Is it really as unusual as it seems? (I also don’t have friends at home or from before uni so I have literally zero friends lol)

Reply 1

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Username123ab

Just what the title says, how common is it to have literally no friends at uni. I’m in my final year and the entire time I’ve been here have not made a single friend lol. I’m friendly and try to make conversation (which is something that's admittedly extremely difficult for me as someone who’s extremely quiet and introverted) but I’ve not been able to make a single friend. It usually doesn’t bother me but sometimes I get into my head thinking there must be something fundamentally wrong with me because I’ve not got any friends, and it can obviously be extremely lonely. From people I see, it feels like I’m just some complete anomaly and there’s something wrong with me. Is it really as unusual as it seems? (I also don’t have friends at home or from before uni so I have literally zero friends lol)

Hey @Username123ab ! Thank you for being so honest in your post, and I hope I can really answer your question as best as I can. Firstly, I would like to say, you are definitely not an anomaly, and there is nothing wrong with you for not having made friends at uni. It is a lot more common than people think, it is just that people who are in a similar position, do not really show it.

I will even say that I had my own moments where I went ages without forming any real connections. Because after all, there is a difference between being friendly and actually bonding with people, especially when you are introverted or naturally quiet.

A few things I have learned:

•

Not having friends does not mean you are unlikable, it usually just means you have not yet met people you genuinely click with yet.

•

People rarely admit they are isolated, so if it feels like you are the only one, you really are not.

•

Some people can appear extroverted but still lonely. Some people only have acquaintances or situational friends, but they do not speak outside of those situations

However, if you still want to make friends (absolutely no pressure), small things like joining societies you are interested in, going to university events and just chatting to one person consistently in your course goes a long way. You do not need to make a million connections, that one solid connection can make a difference.

I really hope this was helpful. Remember, you are not weird, broken or behind. You are a normal human having a normal human experience! If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

Ru
BCU student rep.

Reply 2

black tea

19

Based on what I've heard, not uncommon at all.

Reply 3

Nathanielle_

9

Not uncommon at all. There are two things, yes, you can learn social skills and you need to find the right people. That is not always easy. 🙂

Reply 4

harapeco_23

5

Original post

by Username123ab

Just what the title says, how common is it to have literally no friends at uni. I’m in my final year and the entire time I’ve been here have not made a single friend lol. I’m friendly and try to make conversation (which is something that's admittedly extremely difficult for me as someone who’s extremely quiet and introverted) but I’ve not been able to make a single friend. It usually doesn’t bother me but sometimes I get into my head thinking there must be something fundamentally wrong with me because I’ve not got any friends, and it can obviously be extremely lonely. From people I see, it feels like I’m just some complete anomaly and there’s something wrong with me. Is it really as unusual as it seems? (I also don’t have friends at home or from before uni so I have literally zero friends lol)

I kind of relate to this. I'm friendly with other people but I'm too scared to try and make friends because I feel like people can automatically sense that there is something 'weird' or 'off' about me, like I give off some kind of perceivable aura. It probably has something to do with the fact that I was bullied a lot during early secondary school. I feel like I should just stop being shy and accept the fact that what happened was a long time ago and doesn't reflect on me now, but I tend to be quite withdrawn and self isolate a lot

How common is it to have literally no friends at uni?

Quick Reply

Articles for you

How The Student Room is moderated